It’s nice being a guy. We’re not expected to color coordinate anything. I actually needed my wife to tell me that dark blue and light blue don’t look good together.
My comeback suggestion?
“One more word and you’re gonna need a red shirt to go with the gash I put in your head.”
Of course, I would have never said that myself, but it’s nice to dream.
“Wow, someone got a visit from the bitch fairy.”
How about: “Well, I read that brown in the ‘new black’ this year, so I just figured, new black and old black, that oughta work”
Always leave 'em wondering.
pravnik: I need you to go with me everywhere.
neutron star: I’m pretty sure that dark blue and light blue do look good together.
For the times when your mind fails to come up with a scathing response to an inappropriate comment, there’s always the Miss-Manners-approved, haughty, raised eyebrow, acid-dripping “I beg your pardon”.
Add me to the rest that thought black shoes were ok with pretty much everything. Is there a place where these pearls of wisdom are laid out so that us folks that are walking fashion disasters can dress correctly?
BTW, what colored shoes go with burnt orange and white?
Me, too, DDG, and I’m a 20 year-old female who considers herself relatively with it. I love my black boots, and I would have worn them in a second with a brown jacket. Ah, well–the SDMB: where you even learn things in the Pit!
I’m thinking that black shoes with a brown outfit might not be considered ok because brown shoes are so common. If I cared enough to own brown shoes, I’d wear them with earth tones because they’d go better. Or am I making no sense at all?
Well then I’m just confused. It’s no matter, though. I usually just grab the nearest shirt and pants, no matter what their colors, and throw them on.
I second that. This would have been perfect to come back with.
Hmmmmmmm,where are you located Audrey?? I can’t imagine anyone here (in Alaska),even a gay guy, noticing someone’s footwear. Well,okay maybe they’d notice, but be rude enough to not only comment, but demand???
What would I have said? “Sure sweetie,loan me some of your eyeliner, I’ll color them right up!!! I’m sure you’ve got all the colors of the rainbow considering how much you’ve got on your FACE”!!!
Sheesh,tacky little brats.
I would have threateningly asked for clarification, which if he was smart he would dismiss his comments. If he said it again I’d be mighty tempted to break his jaw. I probably wouldn’t because then my hand would hurt the rest of the day.
“Suck my dick!”
Which would have confused him, since you’re a woman, and while he’s thinking it over you could kick him in the nuts and throw a bucket of icewater over his head.
One should never wear burnt orange, lest someone think you’re a teasip.
Homebrew
Fightin’ Texas Aggie '92
I always liked the one I heard on “Roseanne”:
“Bitch, bitch, bitch - that’s all you ever…ARE.”
Or how about: “How cute, it’s pretending to be a fashion critic.”
And I’ll second a good old-fashioned “Fuck you!”. Stick with the classics.
Hah! I am, in fact, wearing a very nice burnt orange shirt with a big longhorn silhouette in white on it. And my shoes are brown, so I hope that’s not a faux pas.
Better than that nasty maroon stuff…though I think that your shoes would always be brown, for obvious reasons, cowpoke. 
This is an oxymoron.
For the benefit of the teasippers among us:
Main Entry: ox·y·mo·ron
Pronunciation: "äk-si-'mOr-"än, -'mor-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ox·y·mo·ra /-'mOr-&, -'mor-/
Etymology: Late Greek oxymOron, from neuter of oxymOros pointedly foolish, from Greek oxys sharp, keen + mOros foolish
Date: 1657
:** a combination of contradictory or incongruous words** (as cruel kindness)
Not that I have anything against teasippers. In fact, one of my best friends is one.
how about “go fuck yourself, you cum burping gutterslut”?
Or alternatively, just ignoring them?
Oh God cuauhtemoc I’m stifling the laughter because I’m at work… This is classic!
How 'bout “Ya, I know, my bad, but I thought I’d dress down to go to Walmart, don’t wanna scare the yokels,(glance up and down on the guy) I see you’ve had the same idea, Sweetie.” Snap, twist, turn, and sashay chante away.