“My dear boy, may I remind you…
…YOU’RE AT WAL-MART!
If you want to be a ‘Martha’, you have to go to K-MART!”
“Buh-Bye now!”
Now, about your belt and purse…
Shows what you know. There happens to be Shiner in those teacups. 
One time I found a perfect pair of black boots lying on the sidewalk. Just like that. They were the perfect color, the perfect style, and just my size. They appeared to be barely worn. It looked as if someone had dropped them there just for me. Of course, I took them, and I do wear them. I looked sneakily left and right and I just picked them up. It is amazing what you can find on the streets of NY. When it comes to picking up cool stuff that someone else discards, I have no pride.
On the subject of vintage clothes, I am a great fan of those. Which is a good thing since, as a single parent living in the most expensive city in the world, I am on a budget, naturally. I have learned to put together an outfit from the Salvation Army thrift shop (in addition to the many other vintage shops to be found in this neck of the woods) that looks stylish in a funky sort of way. I hope the vintage look never goes out of style. It’s something I can afford, plus actually love, because it suits my taste. I would wear these types of outfits even if I were a millionaire.
**1 ** My dog ate my good boots. Once she poops them out, I’ll be able to wear them again.
**2 ** I can’t match fer shit when Uranus is out of alignment.
**3 ** Oh, look, it’s Mr. Blackwell’s replacement.
4 Oh, look, It’s Mr. Blackwell and the Three Dollar Bill Gang.
Heh.
Drat, I didn’t have any brown eyeliner, could I borrow yours?
waitaminute, waitaminute, waitaminute.
A gay man shopping in Wal-Mart and wearing eyeliner is giving fashion advice?
