I’d frankly be surprised if we don’t get a couple out of this, at least for a few dates.
Married. 
Condo in Palm Springs.
Portfolio by Morgan Stanley.
2003 Subaru Outback Wagon (just couldn’t do the WRX thing).
Sex on the golf course at midnight, if you know how to handle the wedge.
Breasts - “philanthropic”, as my French friend likes to say.
Fully employed/insured and bonded.
I’ll try anything once. No guns or knives, please.
Oh, wth…
SWF, 33, 5’9", “cushy”, huge hazel eyes (or green, depending on my mood), short red (thank you L’Oreal) hair.
One munchkin, and her father and I get along famously.
I smoke, sometimes imbibe alcohol. Have tattoos, want more.
Closet freak raised by puritanical parents (can you say repressed children? I knew you could!)
No religious affiliation, votes left usually.
Classically trained musician, who loves any kind of music (ok, maybe not "She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy kind of stuff).
Quite introverted, prefers not being around other people (stifles the ability to meet others, doncha think?). Have been called the Ice Queen on more than one occasion, I prefer extremely shy.
What do I want? My wish list:
Tall (6’2"+), gainfully employed (not necessarily rich, but not sponging off me for a pack of smokes!), strong willed, cracked sense of humour.
No mainstream khaki Dockers wearing men need apply.
Pretty simple, hunh?
Minimalist.
Oh, come on RT, you can do better than that.
How’s this…
Totally adorable, highly intelligent, witty, kind and fun man is married to an equally wonderful woman, so I’m afraid you are going to have to LOOK ELSEWHERE!
Whaddaya think?
SWF, 38, 5’3", Rubenesque and just starting the long, slow road back to much less Rubenesque. Serious bookaholic who also loves tech toys–the more books and toys, the better, but this budget thing means I don’t get to indulge as much as I’d like to. I love cats (have 2) and can handle dogs on an individual basis as long as I don’t have to walk them. I also drool in hardware stores when I’m looking at all the shiney tools.
I love to cook, hate to clean (dishes or anything else), and I’m generally pretty disorganized (except the tech writing I do for work–that’s organized). I give great backrubs and neck rubs, and I know how to scratch your back right.
My physical type tends to the very tall (6’2" and over) and skinny, but my last boyfriend was about 5’10" and sorta chunky so this isn’t mandatory.
Looking for a S/DM, non-smoker, non-recreational drug user. Kids ok (I like kids). Drinking is ok in moderation or if I drive. Must be intelligent and know how to use the intelligence and and also how to play with it.
Interests need not be identical so long as there’s some overlap (books and computers, mostly); time away is as important as time together.
Being good with your hands and tools is a definite plus. Mechanical, dang it! I saw your mind tipping over into the gutter. I mean saws, hammers, wrenches, and things, and someone who likes to be a home fixer and improver. Being able to do the Spock eyebrow lift is good, too.
I didn’t do it the first time around, so I’ll do it now.
Short half-Japanese chick with glasses, 24, with waist length hair. Not too bright, not too articulate, and hobby-obsessed. Almost unable to use a computer or any complicated machinery. Loves books, especially poetry and decent sf, fashion history, philosophy; also cooking, and cats- not usually combined. Looking for tall intelligent well-read white guys. Computer geeks preferred, martial arts a plus, also willingness to wear the things I make for you. Gentleness and courage important. Please submit applications through Mr. Lissar.
Still Groovy.
(Still uses words like “Groovy”)
Emaciated, emotionally unstable but fiercely intelligent and passionate 21 year old male with blood fetish (sub) seeks the one true love of his life. Sorry, you’re cute and I’m sure you’re nice but I’ve already met her. She got bored of me. Go away.
-or-
Mercurial, artistic and passionate SWM (21) enjoys martial arts, theatre, animals and literature. Taoistic approach to life, deeply romantic and loyal. Quiet, handsome, slim, young and resilient. Altruistic in bed. Seeking female of similar age, mature enough to handle a serious relationship without heading for the hills at the first sign of genuine caring, good communicator. Must be adventurous, sarcastic and not underweight. Also must be prepared to accept being second to someone else to me for the rest of my life.
Me:
16 year old white female. Brown and blue hair, brown eyes. 5’4", approx. 100 pounds. Glasses, short hair. Skinny but not anorexic. Wears weird clothes (homemade, thrift store, odd combinations), does weird things. Likes reading, music, and art stuff. Mostly atheist, but open minded about religion (you accept me, I’ll accept you).
You:
A guy of the skinny persuasion. No big muscles. Race not an issue, age should be no more than + or- a year or so, scraggly hair a plus (slightly long and scruffy, or a short kinky afro…mmmm), must not be a sports freak. Must not a a religious freak either (i.e., tell me I’m going to hell and try to convert me), because my last relationship ended over this. Please avoid being stupid, because I like conversation. Appreciate my eccentricity and don’t try to change me. A plus if you like reading the same sort of books as me, and the same type of music.
Not that I’m in the market anymore but,
MWF (not looking!) 22, 5’0" (in heels!) 95lbs. Black hair, black eyes, multiple tattoos. Works in Political Operations. Passionate artist and classical guitarist. Daily referred to as cute, sassy, yet aloof. Je parle Francaise. Obsessed with the idea of owning a tank (M1-A1 Abrams). Enjoys Bruce Lee movies, heavy artillery, and Nat Sherman Mints. Husband works at a funeral home. Seeks intellectually stimulating conversation and free coffee. Only non-serious inquiries need apply.
:::gasp!::: My dream girl - she exists! 
Damn maybe I was a little too Honest in my ad…hee hee. Ah well I can’t fathom any member of the opposite sex finding my interests attractive.
Damn I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned the bedwetting thing! Grrr stupid bladder…
Jeez, you walk away from a thread for a few weeks and even more great women sign in! amarinth, I’ll dance with you anytime.
Candid Sky, techie women are a huge turn-on. 
Too bad MissTake and Morgyn don’t like short guys…
Oh my god. It seems I have the whole straight dope at my finger tips. What a lucky girl I am. But it seems I am late to , the party as always. If there is anyone left, let me explain. I’m a late bloomer. But that only means I’ve been around the block a fe times and have fugured out want a really want… Just kidding, cuz you never know until you have it. But if I were to get that perfect mate, I’d say that they’d be in their late 30s, early 40s, with a wicked sense d humor, and would love art, books, movies and basicaly anything you could do indoors. Camping, rafting, or anything of that sort wouldd be in close proximity to a cab. Beautiful cities and hotels are right up my alley. Show me the world, I’ll show you you an excellent companion and a great time. In terms of my tastes, I love jazz, blues, rock, ect. and not particulary in that order. I love the country ( as long as its not in a tent). I am not afraid to experience new things as long as I’m with a person who who will be right here with me.
OK, I gave this one a pass the first time it came around, mainly because I’ve had nothing but truly horrible experiences with real personal ads, but…
SWM, 31, gainfully employed and working godawful late-night hours. Sometimes the cheeriest guy on Earth, sometimes makes Oscar Levant look like Stuart Smalley. Enjoys Steven Soderbergh’s movies, Andrew Bird’s music, J. P. Donleavy’s books, Adolphus Busch’s beer, and watching baseball and football. Will bore you to death talking about his dog, unless you’ve met his dog, in which case you will be equally transported with rapture. Blond, blue-eyed, 5’10", skinny as a rail but surprisingly strong (my brother said so after we were wrestling a few weeks ago).
Seeks single female, preferably somewhere around my age, to indulge my every capricious whim as if it were her own idea.
Tuckerfan,
You have made my day… Hell, you’ve made my week!
Ahhh, my dream woman. I have found you at last
**
Oooh, saucy, are we? Well, I’m arrogant enough to think that I’m probably smarter than you are. But the fact that you would post that makes you attractive. And if you actually are smarter than me, that just makes you even more attractive. Oh, and I bite my nails, too.
**
Not unless you also like classical music, broadway shows, The Beatles and Weird Al, you don’t.
**
I don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs. I wear glasses, and refuse to consider contacts. I never shave my legs
**
Male - check
Jewish - half
Tall - not really, although not short
Funny, not in an Adam Sandler way - check
Job - check
Read something other than a magazine in the past week - always
Ambitious - depends on the context
Smart - er than you, neener-head
Goal-oriented - in some things
Good in bed - well, I’m certainly not evil in bed…
Like animals - check
Especially dogs - no more or less than other cute friendly animals
Sports - play them, only very very rarely watch them
I come complete with a large library of books, CDs, DVDs, interesting philosophical opinions, deep thoughts, ethics, friends, and relatives. If you bother me, I will denounce you on the SDMB, since anyone whose opinion matters reads the SDMB.
Well, if it isn’t Supersaver Saturday ads then mine would be considerably shorter. So, here it goes…LOL
How do you take your coffee? and When do we procreate?