Yes! Absolutely. Even the people you see “having the time of their lives” may be overcoming their fear to do so, or “faking it till they make it”. And some people are truly just better at socializing. But that doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out. Have some kind of plan in mind so it’s not just “do you want to hang out” “sure” and then nothing to follow through with. Even if it’s “I’m going to <this movie>, do you want to come” since it shows you have a plan anyway and would be happy for them to come, but not needy.
What’s the worst that could happen if you ask? They say no. Maybe they’re too shy, maybe they have other things to do, maybe whatever. It doesn’t reflect on you and you’re shown yourself to be open to hang out. Maybe next time they will invite you to what they’re doing. When they do, don’t second-guess it wondering if they really mean it or if they pity you or they don’t really like you. Just do it.
Ok. On the side, I know this person who my friend is friends with who has a similar interest to me. I was thinking of asking him something related to it, but I’ve never really chatted to him, so I worry it might be awkward if I do or something. Should I just do it?
Yep! Let me put myself in that friend-of-a-friend’s shoes. OK, my friend thinks well enough of me to talk about me to others, in a good way, about my interests and what I am knowledgeable about. One of those people circles back around to me to chat about something that interests both of us? Sounds good. Again, I might feel shy talking to a relative stranger, but a common interest is something I feel comfortable talking about.
For example, I’m a quilter. Someone I know may mention this to someone else, and that someone else sees me and says “I heard you’re a quilter!” Now, there are some reasons to be cautious about responding, like they might ask me to make something or repair something, but generally my response is “oh yes, I am” with a smile. Now they’ve already broken the ice and we have something to say. They might reminisce about a relative who was a quilter, ask me where I get my fabrics, what kind of quilts I make, etc. We have a nice chat and we’ve left a positive impression on one another. And only occasionally so I walk away with a project to work on for them.
Well, I chatted with that person for a while. I tried to start another convo but no response on FB yet, looks like they didn’t see my message.
To branch out with these friends I mentioned before, should I ask for their whatsapp maybe? I normally chat with them on FB but whatsapp could be more connected.
