I’m able to figure out most of the abbreviations – IMHO, IIRC, etc. – that posters use, but I’m completely flummoxed about MMP. Is there an acronym guide to SDMB?
Monday Morning Post.
There is an acronyms guide in ATMB (which is “About This Message Board” if you need that one too ;)) – look for a pinned thread by Dex. However, I don’t think MMP made it into those hallowed halls.
MMP is a recent tradition here in MPSIMS, in which one person (originally Rue de Day but recently someone picked by some arcane method; I rather suspect the Goat and a delegation of Hamsters show up on someone’s monitor to say s/he is the Chosen MMPer) does a rambling blog-like post about a unifying theme relative to their life and interests, and others riff from this, with a custom but no obligation to stick loosely to the topic(s) of the OP. Like most addictions, it sounds strange until you end up trying it out.
Actually, MMP is addressed in this thread. And in the interest of accuracy, there are no goats in the MMP. Mostly we volunteer to write the MMP, and it goes off on various and sundry tangents after that. Rue still could do it, but he seems to think he needs to do stuff like work and spend time with his family and sleep on Monday mornings instead of keeping up his tradition. He may be a slacker, but we still love him.
Oh, and newbies to the MMP have to send FCM chocolate offerings.
I liked the goat story better. 
Don’t listen to them. They’re all lying - the MMP is a covert CIA Black Bag Op to infiltrate the SDMB. It’s all very dangerous and 0
It’s nothing.
Really.
Pay no attention. Nothing to see here. Move along.
It’s where the cool kids hang out.
The coolest part is you don’t need an invite, it’s not cool kids that are snobbish and clique-y. Some days it’s a lot like that couch at the party in Animal House where they kept ushering Flounder back to.
Oooh! Oooh! I wanna be Jugdesh!
Y’all are just sick and twisted. I knew there was something I liked about ya’.
Speaking of cool kids, I’ve asked the admin if I can shed my dorky user name (Who uses his real name on a message board? The Prince of Dorkness, that’s who!) so I picked out this really cool name. Watch for it!
Chocolate, I can do. Love chocolate. Love giving chocolate. The missus makes mind-blowing Christmas fudge (seriously, this stuff is dang near a religious experience!) that we send all over the country to people we love, admire and respect.
Thanks for the info, you guys. Slowly, I’m getting the hang of it.
Any way I can do this full-time and get paid for it?
No! Don’t do it! They’re all lying to you. That’s right. All of them. Sure, they’ll say c’mon over anytime, bring some chocolate, it’ll be a gas…and then, well after it’s too late, you find out that true meaning…the dark… sinister meaning of the MMP is “Monkey Massage Parlor”. That’s right. Soon you’ll be working like a slave, rubbing down strange monkeys at all hours of the day for no money at all. Don’t let them get you too kid. Run along back somewhere safe and don’t think about this MMP thing anymore, ok?
Yeah, but you get to keep all of the feces that they fling at you.
Yup. Yesterday I got one what looks like Burt Lancaster. Ima sell it on ebay! 
I am the most loved, admired and respected of all the MMP cool kids. When do I get my Christmas fudge? Six dozen every month would be plenty, really. I’m not greedy.
Hey! Get in line buddy! I was first!
Crap! That would be I was first in line for the FUDGE. Not first to post the MMP. I’ve only been there a couple, three years.
Nuh-uh! I was first! jeffrice make Taters stop tryin’ to push ahead in line! No fair! 
Discussion of chocolate immediately following that of monkey feces would tend to concern me… but it’s probably par for a MMP meta-thread.
Ok, ok, that’s enough. Everyone back to the regularly scheduled MMP. You too, jeffrice! I await your love offering of chocolate. Sadly, you’re too late for the chandelier…