I never keep anything in the prat pocket. That’s where I sit. I see people come into the library all the time pulling their cards out of these warped, bedraggled wallets. No thanks.
Nah, I didn’t even know I was doing a Harpo impersonation.
I must be a natural.
Most o’ that shit I made up. The only real stuff from that list was the following:
a stick of chapstick, a Spyderco Endura, a cell phone, a wallet, some sunglasses, some keys, a security card to let me open doors at work, a badge to wear at said work to identify me so I don’t have the hounds released on me, and a miniature magic 8-ball.
Yeha(sic), it’s the kind on the keychain, very rare, but invaluable for arguing with some of the chimps I work with.
All you have to do is say
“No, no, you’re wrong because you’re a jackass. See? {ask magic 8-ball ‘is this dude a jackass?’.} It says ‘My sources point to yes.’ See?” Gets lot’s o’ laughs.
Except when it says no, then I have to say, “Okay, I’m the jackass, but you’re still wrong!” And we all laugh because we’re talking about something completely subjective like: is origami a good way to pass the time?
So I don’t know, but I know that I don’t know.
Ya know?
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
Right rear-Wallet with Drivers Licence, and less than $15, no credit cards, a few business cards, video rental card, ect.
Right front-Keys: to Apt(4), to a friends car that I have for the next week while he and my roommates are in Scotland(2)
Left front-loose change, Albuterol Inhaler
Left rear-spiral notepad
“The universe doesn’t give first warnings or second chances”
Like the hobbitt, I just happen to have a magic ring in my pocket, only it doesn’t make me invisible. Darn! It does, however, prompt a lot of questions. That’s my right front pocket, btw. The others merely contain some id’s, a little cash, and my albuterol inhaler. That is of course, when I am wearing something with pockets. The rest of the time, I have a mini tool box in my purseso my hubby calls it, just in case of emergencies. 
Changing my sig just 'cause…
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon.
Funny you should ask… im at home today and cleaning out closets. I went through 8 sets of coat pockets and found
- 52.92 cash woooooooohoooooooooo
- a parking ticket i forgot to pay… oopsy
- a ton of kleenex, all unused
- a package of wet wipes
- tube of vaseline
- a pile of bubble gum wrappers
- mcdonalds toy
- small rubber ball
- pkg of cigarettes
- 3 lighters
- two greyhound receipts from sending pkgs
- one buffalo air receipt from sending a pkg at xmas to my sis
- a spoon
- small bottle of gravol
- 8 lottery tickets still unchecked
guess i should empty my pockets more often.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Pants, left front: A five and four singles, $.46 in change, a Zippo, and my house keys on a leather fob.
Right front: Half a roll of Tums, and half a roll of Hall’s Vitamin C supplement drops, Assorted Citrus. Vitamin C is very good for you.
Nothing in the back pockets.
Nothing in my shirt pocket.
In my jacket, which is on a hanger on the back of my office door, a wallet in the inside right pocket, a pack of Marlboros and a pen in the inside left. An old phone memo in the outside flap pocket.
"I got a lion in my pocket, and baby it is ready to ROAR!!"
Coldfire
Voted Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk
"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
Geez, you people don’t know nothin’. For men, correct pocket alignment is as follows:
LF - Keys. On a metal, split ring holder. Nothing else. Ever.
RF - Loose change, pocket knife, reciepts. Optional: lucky charm or religious icon.
LR - Comb. Optional: pen, pencil. Optional (redneck): snuff can.
RR - Wallet.
Ladies - Beware of any man who defies these conventions. They will be wrong about other things as well.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
Dr. J:
Nuts to you. Pencil or pen in the back pocket? What happens when you forget and go crashing down onto a chair? Ouch!
And stay away from big cities if you keep your wallet in your pants…
Let’s take a quick inventory here:
RF: Keys (4); loose change ($0.50)
LF: Empty now, but will contain a Palm III when I leave the office
RR: Empty. Always.
LR: Wallet (a bit of cash, credit cards, receipts, ID, etc).
I like to travel light.
I strongly disagree with Dr. Jackson who said:
The wallet must go in the LR and never in the RR unless absolutely necessary. Drives me crazy whenever I wear pants with no LR pocket. I won’t buy them anymore. Anyone else have strong preferences about where the wallet goes?
Uke -
No one ever said being a real man would be easy. If you can’t put up with an inky butt, imbedded graphite, and the occasional mugger, then perhaps pants aren’t the proper clothing for you. May I suggest something from our sundress collection? Spring is just around the corner. 
Lets just say thats not a roll of dimes and leave it at that!
-Frankie
I’m a wholesale dealin papa, but I retail on the side.-Brownie McGhee
How in the hell did you type this message?
Your name isn’t Michael Masterson, is it?
Enright3
Lint, baby, nothin’ but lint.
I want the Money Fairies to plant some cash in mine!!
::snort!:: funny!
Sheesh! You all carry a lot of crap in your pockets. I don’t put anything in my pockets, except for a pair of winter gloves that I keep in my coat pocket.
Now, if you were to ask me what I keep in my purse…
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
Yesterday I had a chromed exhaust tip in my pocket.
And here we all thought you were just happy to see us.
I’ve got:
Back – nothing in either side.
Left Front – $0.12 (a dime and two pennies)
Right Front – Keys (11) on a key ring connected to a little brass doohickey that somebody told me looked like a horse’s bit (I dunno, I found it in the street), connected in turn to a carabiner; a CRKT KISS (straight blade); and $1.43 (5 quarters, three nickels, and three pennies.
A committee is a lifeform with six or more legs and no brain.
Well, I have no pockets in the leggings or t-shirt I am currently wearing (nor in the skirt and sweater I changed out of when I got home from work), but I don’t want to be left out, so here’s what’s in my jacket pockets:
Purple jacket
Right pocket:
Wal-Mart receipt from 12/14/99
email printout from work with 2000 holiday schedule*
email printout from work with 401k quarterly enrollment/change info
Left pocket:
keychain #1: keylite, Jewel-Osco Preferred Card keytag, car key, mailbox key
keychain #2 (one of those pull-part keychains): doorknob key and deadbolt key on one end, PNC mortgage ID tag, outside door key and now-useless key for replaced deadbolt on other end
three pages detailing gifts bought and planned for various people for Christmas 1999 (I think I can get rid of these)
One pair black gloves
Snap pocket (right breast pocket):
Mastercard
12 receipts from various stores
One Arby’s coupon
Two Banquet TV dinner coupons
Crybaby Extreme extra sour gumball in plastic
Black jacket
Right pocket:
One dime
Three Hall’s honey-lemon cough drops
One Hall’s honey-lemon cough drop wrapper
15 receipts from various stores
Left pocket:
Two keychains with no keys (one yellow dragon, one mini-tupperware bowl for change (empty))
Wal-Mart receipt from 1/4/99
The Way of the Cross booklet
That’s long enough, I’ll skip the other two jackets.
oh dear GOD I MUST HAVE a miniature magic 8 Ball!!! Were oh please WERE can I get one???
sorry about the hijack!
I am sofa king, we todded.
I put my winter coat away and looked at some other coats. One had a clean diaper in one pocket. My daughter, the younger kid, just turned 5. This diaper would have fit her 2-3 years ago.