Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I know this kind of bandwagon jumping is lame, but, well. You don’t have to open them.
What’s it got in it’s pocketses. It’s coatsies and it’s jeansies. All it’s pocketses! what’s it got in them! <gollum gollum>
Nice things! Nice pocketsy things.
(I forgot to mention mine)
Coat, left-outer-pocket
Bus ticket, cheque (deposit from my mobile phone), bank statements mobile phone bill, driving license (bus ticket and driving licence in the same pocket - I have no car)
Coat, right-outer-pocket
Mobile phone, application for a manx driving licence (mine is still a UK one), foldup hairbrush.
Coat, inner-pocket
Boat ticket. Money, Debit card, Video card, another bus ticket, reciept for new shoes, listerine cool strips, loose change.
Jeans, Left-pocket
Keys (electric key-card, work key, house key, shoprite discount card, miniature torch)
Jeans, Right-pocket
Leatherman micra, magic ring of power.
<checks pocket>
no wait, No magic ring of power. (damn)
A quick check reveals:
Right jacket pocket - lip balm
Left jacket pocket - nothing
Left front pants pocket - Zulu Crewe Aardvark aluminum coin (Mardi Gras 1992 - lucky charm)
Right front - keys, loose change, small LED flashlight
Watch pocket - pocket watch - Russian, commemorating 300 years of the Russian Navy
Left hip pocket - wallet
Right hip pocket - note I should have given a student 2nd Period. Damn.
No ring of power here either.
Coat, left
Left glove
Coat, right
Right glove
Car keys
That’s it. I gotssss a purssssse, precioussssss.
No need to look, unless I want to know how much change I have.
Left front - Keys only. Same key ring since 1977.
Right front - Pocket knife and change.
Left rear - Checkbook.
Right rear - Wallet.
For myself, this is one of the things that must be.
Hm. Right now? Sweatpants pocketses:
Military ID card
Wallet
Contents of wallet: Miscellaneous reciepts, scraps of paper with important information on them, two wristwatch manuals (watches I never wear anymore, no less), two fortunes from cookies. The fortunes read " 
Ignorance never settles a question" and “YOU ARE GIFTED IN MANY WAYS 12 14 20 29 39 45”. Two debit cards, one credit card, Social Security card, CPR certification card, Missouri drivers license (picture from when I still had any hair to speak of), my First Sergeant’s card (for if I’m out drinking and need a ride), Airmen Against Drunk Driving card (ditto), ACROSS Secret Ideological ID card (points for whoever can tell me where I got that one), pink piece of paper stating that I passed my driver’s test (on my third try, kept for good luck), reciept that I was keeping for good luck (but has gone blank due to the thermal paper used).
No cash.
Nothing 
‘Proper’ ladies clothes don’t come with pockets.
Right pain it is.
I’m wearing boxers.
Jeans right pocket: three quarters, two dimes and six pennies, four glass eyes, (two brown, two green), four human incisor teeth, three human canine teeth, A small ball of plastilina clay, and half a chocolate chip cookie.
Jeans left pocket, wallet, keys, two crumpled 1 dollar bills, altoid tangerine citrus, a guitar pick.
Jeans back left: three clay shaping loop tools.
Jeans back right: two double AA batteries (duracel), and a bonsai concave cutters pruning tool.
It’s got nothing in its pocketses, preciouss. Not its jean pocketses, anyway. It’s got gloveses and a scarf in its coat pocketses, though.
No pockets. hence, nothing in them.
A damn big purse with everything but the kitchen sink, to compensate.
Left pocket: coins, keys, laser designator. Right pocket: wallet, pocket watch.
Right hand jacket pocket - keys.
All the other pockets are empty. Before the day is over, I may have some change in my jeans pocket, but that’ll be about it. I keep most of my junk in my purse.
Left coat: mobile phone.
Right coat: hosue keys, office keys, disposable lighter, pack of Marlboro Lights.
Right rear jeans: wallet.
Right front jeans: €0.26 in change.
Right front jeans mini-pocket: 2 x Dunlop guitar picks.
OK, I currently am in posession of 14 pockets about my person, this could take awhile:
left front trouser:Wallet (students union card, McDonalds recovery card, one completed subway card, and two extra stamps, £5 university photocopying card,driving licence, NI number, Game reward card, Scream pub Yellow Card, Varsity V card, University Sports card, Real Ale Club card, Union Society card, Reciept for glasses, Two photobooth photos of g/f, and two condoms), £1 in loose change (silver).
left trouser leg pockets (x3):Fluff
Right Front trouser pocket:keys (House key, College Key, Room Key, Random key that is probably for something quite important but i can’t quite remember what, Small LED torch (blue), Darth Maul lego keychain.) Card wallet (2x Switch cards, 2x Credit cards, library card, MVC card, Cleckheaton Sports Club members card, Library card.
Right ‘other’ trouser pockets (x5): Mobile phone (Nokia 6100), Pocket Knife (which I must remove every time I leave my room, since it does not fit the UK’s definition of a folding pocket knife), Swiss army card (pockety knife thing), fluff.
Back pockets, trouser: fluff.
left jacket pocket: Large hole leading to lining into which I could fit my entire arm.
inside jacket pocket: Gold and Black Parker ballpoint, assorted reciepts.
Right jacket pocket: List of taxi company phone numbers (awaiting transfer to mobile phone)
Front-Right pants pocket: Keys
Front-Left pants pocket: Swiss Army Knife, any spare change I happen to have, ChapStick, and a popular piece of magician’s apparatus that allows me to perform miracles any time I want (As a magician I should not go into detail on this particular item).
Back-Right pants pocket: Nothing
Back Left panst pocket: Wallet
looks in itsssss nasssssty pocketses
one box cinnamon tic-tacs
one baggie of instant coffee for work
keys to the Rolling Trash Can (my beautiful van that I need to clean)
Funny you should ask ! I often keep a magic ring in my pocket …
it’s my wedding ring, and it’s kind of big, so I take it off a lot (like when I wash my hands) and keep it in my pocket. I always hope to run into Gollum but I never do.
Also, I’ve got a subway token, a bunch of change and a library card.
Coat, left-outer-pocket
Plastic bag from the dog park (unused, ya sicko!)
Coat, right-outer-pocket
Car keys
Coat, inner-pocket
sunglasses
Jeans, Left front pocket
Keys (already discussed in keys thread)
Jeans, Right front pocket
Nothing right now. Probably some change later.
Jeans, Left rear pocket
Wallet (contents discussed in keys thread)
Jeans, Right rear pocket
Comb
In my motorcycle jacket, I keep my motorcycle keys, a garage door remote, a tire gauge, and sunglasses.
Jacket, Military Issue, Gortex
Jacket, outside left: Left glove, car keys, doctor’s card
Jacket, outside right: right glove, sunglasses, cell phone
Jacket, map pocket, left: nothing
Jacket, map pocket right: lint, ew… how long has this chapstick been in here?
BDU Blouse, Military Issue, Summer Weight
Blouse, upper left: A pen
Blouse, upper right: ID card holder
Blouse, lower left: Nothing
Blouse, lower right: Squadron Coin
BDU Pants, Military Issue, Summer Weight
Left hand front: wallet
Right hand front: $7 US currency
Left & Right Back and Cargo pockets: Nothing