What's the funniest thing you've ever seen a stranger do?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I didn’t see this, but my wife did a long time ago…

She attended a College Light Opera production (Cape Cod, MA) of Oaklahoma, and the lead made his entry racing across the stage while bellowing “Oooooooooooooo…”. The first night he stopped just short of the edge as he transitioned to “…klahoma, where the winds come sweeping down the plains!”

Well, she liked the show so much, she went again. This night, the lead came sprinting out just as before, dug his heels in at “…klahoma…”, and kept right on going over the edge and into the orchestra pit. Maybe the hard break the night before wore the treads off of his shoes. Anyway, the guy goes flying into the orchestra and completely flattens the oboist. The rest of the band keeps playing, and they guy kept singing the whole time. Cries of horror erupt from the audience, until the guy emerges from the pit, tearing around the stage to climb the stairway back on, singing all the while. The oboist is on his hands and knees groaning while the “star” is trying to keep his composure. The audience starts to lose it completely about 2/3 the way through the song, and the flying lead exits red-faced, and with a slight limp. The oboist found a new reed and was ready for the next number…but not before getting a standing ovation upon retaking his seat.

42

I LOL’ed at this part…

43

Didn’t that used to be a signifier (and price tag) of prostitution?

44

After a long flight that landed at Newark airport I was waiting in the baggage claim area for my stuff.

Newark has those weird baggage carousels where the luggage is lifted up on a conveyor belt and comes out a hole in the top, whereupon in slides down a ramp onto the conveyor belt for you to pick up.

Unfortunately, the carousel wasn’t working, and everyone was getting antsy, waiting for their bags to arrive. Somebody came out and announced that it was busted but they were getting it fixed and please be patient.

A few minutes later with a loud buzz and thud, the carousel started up, much to everyone’s relief. And the first piece of luggage to slide down the ramp was a male human, wearing a workman’s uniform, complete with toolbelt. He deftly stepped off the conveyor belt, brushed himself off, and said, “It’s working now,” and walked off.

A few months later I would see Kramer pull the same stunt on Seinfeld.

45

Okay, that made me laugh :smiley: .

We went to see a local production of The Wizard of Oz a few weeks ago, and they had a dog playing Toto who’s played Toto in a number of different productions around the region. Well, she was apparently quite bored and hungry, because partway through the first act, she stuck her head first into Dorothy’s pocket, then into Auntie Em’s pocket, pulled out a few treats and proceeded to chow down.

I lost it sitting in the audience near the end of the show, though. She then found a piece of paper on the floor, grabbed it with her mouth, began chewing, and chewed and chewed and chewed for the next fifteen minutes. I was laughing so hard that I had to bury my head in ElzaHub’s shoulder until it subsided.

And I’m usually a major stickler when it comes to the theatre - I was incredibly embarrassed at my behavior, although I don’t think anyone but ElzaHub noticed.

E.

46

A few years ago I was sitting with some friends at a sidewalk cafe, just chatting a bit and people watching. A 40-something man came coasting down the hill on a bicycle, both arms held straight out to the side like he was flying, and he was yelling “I’m a super action hero!” Everybody lost it, and it’s guaranteed to induce giggles to this day.

47

I got a couple…

If you’re ever in Ann Arbor, Michigan, walk up and down liberty street, and you might see a guy, with a boombox set up and Michael Jackson music playing, dancing like MJ himself. It’s almost one of those things you don’t want to look too hard at because you’re worried just how nuts the dude is.

also, if you’re even in Ann Arbor, do not mock the homeless people from your car. About 15 years ago, I watched someone say something to a homeless guy from inside his car at a stoplight. The homeles guy was not amused, and proceeded to ram his shopping cart right into the side of the dude’s car, and then speed off…

48

OUTSTANDING!!!

That one just made my day for some reason! :smiley:

49

In high school, approximately 11th grade, in gym class. We were setting up nets to play volleyball. Some dude and I were sitting in the bleachers, waiting to play, and were watching another student - the school fat kid, about 350 pounds, practice karate moves with a volleyball net as his “opponent.” Funny enough, but then, as he was executing a kick, he got his heel stuck in the net, did a few pinwheels with his arms, and plopped to the floor. I’ve seldom laughed as hard.

George

50

Once while driving down a busy residential street I saw a 40-ish guy peeing into a five gallon bucket in (presumably) his front yard. That one still puzzles me.

51

Band the squeegee on the ground a couple of times to get rid of the excess water so it isn’t “pouring down”, and this works great.

52

We were on vacation, driving on I-70 across Illinois. Up ahead, there was a rent-a-truck towing a little car. As we passed it, I noticed the little car was stuffed to the roof with clothes except for the driver’s seat. That was occupied by an enormous stuffed bear, who was arranged to appear to be driving. I have a picture of it someplace.

53

So I’m driving to the local sandwich place for lunch. I’m in the left lane, getting ready to make my turn into the parking lot, when in my rearview mirror I spot a pickup truck. It looks like a custom job - bright purple paint, lots of chrome, decals on the top of the windshield - the whole deal. Definitely designed to look fast - and, true to form, he’s bearing down on me in obvious excess of the speed limit.

Well, apparently, I’m not moving fast enough for him, because he comes up to within a few feet of my bumper and puts on his brights (like they’re going to matter in the daytime anyway). He’s close enough that I can make out the pounding bass line of whatever music he’s playing, even inside my closed car. In the mirror, I can see him gesturing for me to move over. I put on my turn signal, since I’m going to make a left in just a couple hundred feet.

Well, he just isn’t having it. He guns the engine and roars around me in the right lane, then swerves back over into the left lane, cutting me off and forcing me to hit the brakes. As he does so, I can see that not only does he have custom paint and custom audio, but custom suspension as well - it’s a lowrider. And when I say low, I mean LOW. The truck looks like it’s only got a couple of inches of ground clearance.

He gets into the turn pocket ahead of me - I guess he’s going to the same place I am, and he just doesn’t want me to get there first. Spotting a gap in traffic, he punches it again, charges across the opposing lanes of traffic, barrels up the ramp into the parking lot…

…and, with an audible “scrunch,” hangs the bottom of his truck on a speed bump strategically placed at the entrance to the parking lot.

I wept, for it was a thing of beauty.

54

Probably trying to figure out that damn 5 gallon bucket/3 gallon bucket puzzle that keeps cropping up in video games…

55

That stranger was me. I was about 18 or 19 when I visited a castle in Scotland with my sister. I had a camera with a strap so you could hang it round your neck. Being ever so cool, I took my camera from around my neck, held it by the strap and tried to casually swing it in a circle…

…and promptly smacked myself in the face with it. There were many witnesses. I still remember the burning shame.

56

On my way to work I’m waiting to take a left at a light and see some guy illegally cutting through the parking lot trying to avoid the light. He looks over at us, trying to time his cut to get ahead of everyone else. Having made the turn I’m quickly up to speed but then have to slow as he recklessly pulls right in front of me and then floors it to keep ahead. He must have kept his eyes glued to the rear view mirror because about three seconds later he obliterated the “Closed Street” fence put up to warn of high water.

57

In a local mall there is a waterfall in the center, and a shallow pool that it empties into. The pool is separated from dry floor by a polished granite lip about a foot wide. On the floors above are business offices, and nearby is a movie theatre.

One afternoon, all of the business were letting out, and at the same time, people were lined up for a movie. This made for a very crowded situation, and so going was very slow.

One self-important business man in a nice suit and expensive shoes was having none of it. No worming through a crowd for him. No, he decided to walk along the lip of the pool and bypass the crowd. And an admirable job of it he did, too. His first step was sure and true. His second step, not so much. It landed squarely in the water. His third footfall was designed to not only extricate himself from the situation, but save face and make it look like he was doing well. Unfortunately, that, too, was all wet. His fourth step was clearly designed to get him back on dry floor. It failed. His fifth step was bold, determined, and forceful. It was also largely misplaced. His sixth step was destined to become the one that would land him back in the world of the unwet. Or so it would have seemed. His seventh step, as luck would have it, missed the lip of the pool as well. His eighth step, being somewhat luckier, finally found dry land. He was back to normal, and all was well with the world. But only after he’d walked through the entire width of the pool.

To his credit, he was laughing nearly as hard as we were.

58

I should add in one other event.

To understand it, however, you must understand what I mean by “rapper hands.” Do this: Put your hands in front of your chest, palms towards chest, fingers pointed down. Keep your elbows out away from your body. Spread your fingers slighly, then curl your ring fingers in a little bit. Got it? Now say “Yo yo yo bitch, I’ll fuck you up!” and emphasize all of the strong syllables with a slight downward thrust of your hands. Extra finger bling helps.

That’s rapper hands.

So anyway, while on vacation a few years ago, my girlfriend and I decided to wrap up our day with some ice cream. We say at a table, licking our cones, and I contemplated the crowd still in line. There was a family of four, who were quite possibly the whitest and middlest class and suburbanest white picket fencers you could imagine. “Pack the kids into the minivan 'cause we’re going to Friendly’s” level of white. Except the teenage son. He looked like a rapper-wannabe, except all of his bling came from The Gap.

So as they waited for ice cream, I saw the mother ask the son a question, but I couldn’t hear it. The son got this tough “I’m gonna git you, sucka” look on his face. Emphasizing his words with rapper hands, he told that white bitch, “Yo, mint chocolate chip.”

59

*tdn, that reminds me of a sad sight I saw a couple of days ago, waiting for a bus.

It was raining hard. Hard enough that I had my dorky full raingear on.

A skinny kid crosses the street, maybe about sixteen, working the “gangsta” thing as hard as he could manage. He’s very self-consciously holding his hands in this self-same posture, and walking very carefully.

See, he’s got the big pants on, and an oversized puffy coat. His pants are soaking wet from the knees down, so he’s got a couple of extra pounds of water-weight going on there. So his pants are falling down around his knees. Repeatedly. Every ten steps or so.

Each time it’d happen, he’d drop his posture long enough to hike his pants up, and then put his hands back into that silly gesture and recompose his “hard” face. Ten more steps. Repeat.

I guess he couldn’t use his hands to hold his pants up while he walked, because he needed to keep his hands free to look cool.

Personally, I think he’d have done better to keep his (obviously cold) little dingus and dirty tighty-whities out of the public eye.

60

I was walking my dog at 6 in the morning and saw a man stick his penis through a window and piss in the side yard. That was a very weird moment. I just kept on walking.