What's the most difficult difference to get around in a relationship: a poll

Choose one and only one of the above:

If you met somebody who you were extremely attracted to, which difference do you believe would be the hardest to overcome in order to have a happy relationship.

I picked significantly less intelligent than me. I can’t be with someone long term if we can’t talk and understand stuff on the same level. If there’s no chance of challenging, good natured debate, I’m going to get bored real quick.

The age thing, I’m already dealing with, and other than the constant terror of knowing that he’s likely to die long before me, it’s not too bad. ( ;))

Income makes no difference to me either way, but that’s because I could only be with someone who shares my view that the money is “ours”, not “yours and mine”. So it doesn’t matter who’s making more of it.

Background might be a little challenging; I readily admit that I’m freaked out by things my parents taught me were “trashy” or “low-class”. But I’m working on it, and I get that it’s totally my issue.

Ethnicity isn’t even on my radar, except as a starting point for fun conversation. (“Oh, a perm means you *straighten *your hair?”)

I would find it extremely difficult to be with someone who professed a belief in a god or gods. The other issues don’t seem that difficult. Done most of them through the years, with some success.

I’m a hair short of 25, so… 15+ years younger than me would be a pretty serious deal-breaker.

I worked with a married couple where he was 50 and she was 40. The husband was once talking about the age difference and said it hadn’t been an issue. I, being a wise-ass, said “Sure, not now. But I bet everyone was talking when you took her to your senior prom.”

I couldn’t imagine things working out with someone I viewed as much less intelligent than I am. Half the fun my boyfriend and I have together is in making fun of people we consider stupid. :slight_smile:

I’d go to prison if I dated somebody 15 years younger, so… yeah.

I wonder how much the statutory rape demographic will skew the results of the poll… Perhaps we should’ve interpreted that choice as meaning “How bothered would you be to date someone 15 years younger than you at any age in your life?”.

My dream wife is a mute who can’t nag me. Also, she can’t have arms either to nag me with sign language. She also shouldn’t have legs so she can’t run off and have an affair. An easy carry handle in the middle of her back would be convenient too, so when we go out, it’s easy to load her into the trunk.

I selected religion, but you missed some real deal-breakers, Sampiro - the decision to have kids can be one of the biggest ones.

I’m having a hard time choosing between “different religion” and “significantly less intelligent”, so I haven’t voted. The others don’t look like huge problems to me.

Someone fifteen years younger than me would be three. But in the interest of not being a smart ass, I voted “different religion”.

Hard to answer, really. I picked the 1st choice although I can’t imagine being attracted to someone 15 years older than me. I’ll go as much as 5-7 years older, but any older than 7 is automatic dealbreaker

Being anti semitic is the only thing I can think of. Oh yeah, also being a scientologist.

I put down Age Difference 1, mostly by default, because 15 years is a lot - she’d almost be a senior citizen for me.

Religious difference - depends on the religion. I’m an atheist but my wife’s a liberal Catholic who never goes to Mass and hates the Pope. We had a civil ceremony for a wedding but we baptized our children, the normal give-and-take in a healthy relationship. No problems there.

I think ideas and opinion about children, money, and housekeeping are more important potential dealbreakers than opinions about mythological entities.

Less intelligent than me - not so important as long as they are intellectually curious. Do they read literature? Watch foreign movies? Like visiting museums? Have opinions about art and politics?

(And I don’t think of intelligence as a linear function of “more intelligent” and “less intelligent.” I often find that people are “differently intelligent.”)

Different spending habits. Nothings wears more on a relationship than arguments about money.

I would go for religion. All the others I can deal with but dating someone who actually believes in a god or some sort? That way, madness lies.

I think all options of the poll pale into insignificance when it comes to a difference in communication, and relationship with their own family. In my opinion THAT is the most difficult difference to get around.

I’ve just come out of an otherwise good relationship because he really liked the countryside and I am a die-hard city girl. I was abjectly miserable among the sheep and the tractors. As the guy was lovely I really tried and the thing dragged out long and miserably before we gave up. So now I wouldn’t ever date anyone who wanted to be in the countryside.

I also really don’t want a dog in my house. That’s a dealbreaker.

I think a very big one, which did for many friends’ relationships is: He/she wanted kids and I don’t or vice versa.

I’m a non-believer married to a believer. So I know that is not a problem. Money is just money so I have no problem either way with that. Ethnicity might be a problem, I have no experience with that, but if an attration is there it can be ignored. But an intelligence gap might prove to be insurmountable in the long run. I choose less intelligent because I think I could handle being the dumb one, but the smart one might have a problem with it.