Time is rapidly running out for Miroslav Satan to have at least part of his career be playing for the New Jersey Devils
Also a DB back in the 70s or 80s named “Fair Hooker”
The longest I’ve seen was for Celtic FC’s Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. Yes, “Vennegoor of Hesselink” is his family name, and the club put the whole name on his jersey.
There might be a Sri Lankan cricketer who beats that, but I can’t think of one at the present.
And a baseball player in the US with the unfortunate name Rusty Kuntz
I’m still waiting for the day that Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada hands off to Obafemi Ayenbadejo, who will then run behind the block of Corey Lekkerkerker.
I.M. Hipp, of Cornhusker fame
The actual spelling of her surname is Krapohl, which (depending on your particular sense of humor) may or may not reduce the “funny”.
That’s not why he changed it incorrectly.
Football players, when identifying each other by number, list the numbers.
If I noticed Chad Johnson lined up in such a way that I wanted another defender on him, I’d yell “eight five! eight five!”
He should have been Ocho Cinco, not “Ochocinco.” His problem is that he forgot to put a space on the name change form.
I just remembered there used to be a pitcher named Gil Mesh. I always used to joke that his middle name should be Ga.
Nope, doesn’t reduce it at all… 
O’Chocinco, he’s Irish, right?
Please, please tell me they had another brother named Topographic.
Fair was a WR actually but the name is a certainly a classic.
As for long names, I’ve seen pictures (which I can’t find for linking purposes) of Marty Schottenheimer’s old Buffalo jersey with his name on his back going down both sleeves.
Allegedly there was a Dutch soccer player called Hans Penis. After reaching some prominence - no, after coming to - no, after popping up - no, after achieving some fame he changed his name to avoid further public ridicule. To Dick Penis (IIRC this fact came from the magnificent Book of Heroic Failures).
But I’ll always have a soft spot for local rugby player Fuifui Moimoi.
Hockey:
Zarley Zalapski
and a minor player,
John Winstanley
Satan, too bad he never played for the NJ Devils
Me too! They mention his name and I can’t help responding, “It’s not a toomah!”
It’s very situational, but I was very disappointed that the Boston Celtics cut Allan Ray right before the season last year. Only a funny name because already on the team was Ray Allen.
Where’s Oil Can Boyd when you need him?
Johnny “Lam” Jones, Johnny “Ham” Jones and Johnny “Jam” Jones were once all football teammates at UT.