What's This Vapor Coming Out Of My Anus?

At work we have these hardwood chairs that have a black, satin finish. The first time I sat in one, I was somewhat surprised to find a spot in the middle of the chair upon standing. I assumed I must have sat in something, but couldn’t find anything on the seat of my pants.

The next time I used this chair I carefully inspected the surfaces prior to sitting down. When I got up, I noticed a similar spot. It was a golfball-sized, circular spot where the chair had fogged up (I have to sit still for a few minutes in order for the spot to form). It seems to form directly beneath the region in between my testes and my anus (aka the “choad”). The fog disappears after a few minutes and leaves no residue, so it appears to be some sort of water vapor. Furthermore, this fogging occurs regardless of whether or not I fart.

What’s causing these spots to form?


I think you should send a sealed ziplocked bag to Cecil Adams, c/o The Chicago Reader, with the enclosed evidence.

Fighting ignorance, and all that.

Is the room cool? I’d suspect it’s just vapor/heat from your body condensation on the chair.
Next time your in that room, I’d guess that if you place your a cupped hand on the chair for a similar length of time you’ll get the same results.

You should have someone else sit in the chair to test if it’s just you. Maybe not tell them exactly what you’re testing.

Hey Bob, my anus just left a moist spot on this chair. You try sitting here.

I thought “choad” was another term for penis, as in “choad smoker”, not for the perineum (?), or the more dignified “taint”.

And I know a whole lot of people just had Mr. Show flashbacks! I did!

Yes, I suspect the OP meant “taint” and not “choad.”

This…is the worst thread I have ever read.


I dunno, try wearing thicker drawers? The “vapor” is pure, concentrated evil.

If this is the worst thread you have ever read, you’re either very new here or in denial! This thread does not even come remotely close!:smiley: Whoops, I’m hoping that was a whoosh!

Jesus, I haven’t heard “choad” since I stopped visiting alt.tasteless back in the stone age of about 1993. I still laugh when I see someone with the last name “Grogan.”


So, a visual reproduction of your anal regions, like a photo of your butt?

It’s a … rimshot!
Bum Bum, Tush!

I find this on plastic seats. I think it’s actually sweat, more or less.

I suspect it is simply that the perineal area is restricted from ventilation when sitting on a hard surface and that body temps are causing a blush in the finish.
This can be seen, for example, when the forearms rest on a finished table.

The Pub.

Enjoy. Just not at lunch.

Helluva title to a thread though.

I’d love to see a list of funny thread titles…

…hmm, no moist spot.
Try it again, but this time fart. Or, if you farted last time, don’t.

Band name!

Dew dew.

You don’t take Alli or eat anything with olestra, do you?