The Line: “Let the sucking begin.”
The in-context use: Every other week, we have an early morning sales meeting (7am). These meetings are ALWAYS THE SAME. Same info. Same comments. Same EVERYTHING. I was talking to one of the salesmen right before the meeting about how much the meeting was going to suck, thus the above line.
I’d ask that whore to jack me off with her one good hand if she wasn’t my boss.
whoo boy, could THAT be misunderstood if you weren’t listening to the first part of the conversation.
Not my line, but a friends’…
“Sometimes the floppy ones are good, too!”
She was referring to french fries.
Spoken by a friend:
“Nevertheless, if I was to eat any part of a dead cheerleader, I would want it cooked!”
Long story. Ended with the waitress that heard him say this cutting us off from further pitchers of beer.
“It’s not the size, it’s how hard it is.”
– my 9th grade English teacher, regarding the difference between #2 and #3 pencils.
Sometimes, depending on the flavor, hard is good.
“who were you letting touch my panties?”
I said that to my last roommate. I had loaned her my velvet boycut shorts to go with a short skirt and she said everyone was trying to feel them and some were succeeding. :eek: That is a great line out of context.
“I like Cox.”
Say it aloud, you’ll get it. 
“All you need are some lesbian Jews, a flamethrower, bullwhips, fake poo, real poo, a used syringe, headphones, a Stradivarius viola, and a Super-Soaker 5000 filled with muskrat blood and LSD. Take these to your nearest Piggly-Wiggly parking lot, find a Ford Escort with phat rims, and, well, the next part is obvious. After you do that, you will have found Jesus or created a reasonable facsimile waiting for the crosstown K line. If it is the latter case, do not approach quickly unless you can fellate like nothing else under the sun. We reccommend a follow-up high colonic.”
–Something I read one time in a bulletin at an Episcopalian church. Gosh, without the other paragraphs, you wouldn’t even know what the bulletin was talking about!
Jeepers.
“I like Dick. Is that such a bad thing?”
Me on sportscaster Dick Vitale. Of course someone walked into the room right then…
One nobody ever gets, from “The Producers”:
“I’m wet…and I’m hysterical!”
Never use this, even when caught in a downpour, unless you want to get weird looks.
Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder, funneled through Mel Brooks’ demented mind: pure bliss.
Rotten taste in movies,
Veb
“and then you always have to ask, like, “what voltage is your village goat?””.
This actually was delivered by the inimitable Vic Croston of the Globe Machine engineering department, trying to explain why you have to use isolated I/O modules when you’re controlling a motor control center with individual control transformers that might be off phase.
Vic’s the kind of guy who, when you ask him the time, begins with “in ancient Sumeria, there was the sundial”.
He also taught me the words to “Alice’s Restaurant”, so he’s tops in my book.
The other day, from my lovely SO:
me: “I love you”
him: “When are you leaving?”
yeah, I forgave him… :rolleyes:
and on some signs I read today:
“NO BLEEDING
NO RECTALS”
“THE CONTENTS OF THIS FRIDGE ARE FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE **NOT ** INTENDED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION”
oh, the possibilities… 
Her mother looked her right in the face and said “What’s this proboscis?” And then his room mate turned State’s evidence.
Hey! That was my 69!
“Uh…October?”
Norm MacDonald on Happy Gilmore when asked what day it was. My roommate and I utter this whenever someone asks a question that makes absolutely no sense.
Out of context? Well, there wasn’t really any context for this, unless you count The Treasure of the Sierra Madre".
Back in the ol’ college days, my roommate and I had a habit of popping our heads into dorm rooms at random while walking down the hall, and screaming,
“Badges? We don’ need no e-stinkin’ badges!”
And then disappearing. We were quite popular.
not mine personally, but…
“So when she looked out the window she just assumed the local retarded kid was doing bum sex on her Chihuahua with a frog rocket wiener…”
Go here for the context:
http://www.youdamnkid.com/ydk10192000.html
At last year’s Superbowl party, when St Loius Head Coach Dick Vermeil’s wife was close-up on on camera in the audience, I proclaimed, “She loves Dick!”.
Not everyone knew who Dick Vermeil was. They were just there for the party.
Elvis Costello, drunk, berating the locals on their ignorance of American music: “As far as you’re concerned Ray charles is just a dumb blind nigger!”
Bonnie Bramlett punched him out, the press reported it as Elvis spouting hate about an American, and to this day EC can’t sell out clubs. I think it happened in Nashville or Memphis. I believe Elvis when he says he has nothing but respect for ol’ Ray. He’s sober now. His love for American country music is unwavering.
Bigger, older out of context is Lennon saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus (‘in the minds of the screaming fans’). There were public record burnings after that one.