I forgot to mention my other curse… The “But You Don’t seem gay” curse.
Which basically means that I never get hit on by any guys. At all. I’ve always got to be the one to make the first move, and frankly, I don’t get up the gumption to do so very often. Mostly because I’m attracted to straight-acting guys…
Hey, get a roomful of this type of gay guys together, and you could get some really hot, um… conversation.
So, Aghris… how you doin’?
The first curse is a variation of the “not in your size” curse: The “Your size is either too average, or not average enough” curse. There was a time when I had a 29" waist (at 6’2", I weighted 145lb). Invariably, the store would stock exactly one pair of 29x33 trousers, and the one other person in my time zone who was the same size would have got there about 20 minutes before me. Now I wear a 33 or 34, which invariably run out because “well, that’s our most popular size.” GRRR! And don’t get me started on what it’s like to have middle age spread hit you feet-first (quad “E” width, to be exact).
The other curse is the Bally’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law. Follow the math: The probability that two gym members will have adjoining lockers increases geometrically in reverse proportion to the number of members actually in the gym at a given time. I like to go to the gym fairly late, and inevitably, if there are two people in the locker room our lockers are next to each other and we spend ten minutes crawling over each other…
although sometimes it’s welcome…
Yes, but I’ve been at it longer than you have. Besides which, you were flirted with in this very thread.
KKBattousai, sorry mate, but unless you’re willing to make the trip to NorCal with the lass in question, it ain’t a-gonna happen. Besides, as much as I enjoy performing a valuable service for my fellow man, it would be nice to find someone to perform the service for me.
And Dlgirl? I teach some very basic dance steps. Want to learn how to waltz?
I want to be a musician. Or a writer. Instead, what I’m very good at, though, is telling companies how to sell more things to people who don’t need them.
Okay you guys. I am a dimwit. If you flirt with me, I will not know it. I will just have to get used to it. Does that sound right? 
All mine have been mentioned already, but with interesting variations.
The Curse of the Big Clumsy Lummox
I’m fairly large, and fairly strong. And I’ve never quite managed to get used to either, , meaning that I tend to knock stuff over with my over-long arms, or accidentally crush things in my over-strong grip. That, or I grip too loose and will drop it trying to avoid breaking it. (For obvious reasons, I’m TERRIFIED to hold babies).
But here’s the kicker. This curse will only kick in when it comes to something either expensive, sentimentally valuable, or not mine. Which means my friends will not let me near anything that they like, because I will, I WILL break it. It’s practically a guarantee.
Needless to say, my house is built like a fortress. All furniture, in fact everything, is of the strongest ilk we could find, simply because if it wasnt I’d break it. And the SO wants glass tables when we move in together… :eek: Imagine the carnage!
The Curse of Instant Karma
This applies only to my brother in regards to a friend of ours. Whenever my brother does something bad to this friend, he’ll be hit back tenfold. In example, he once slapped this friend in the head while walking past. In the ensuing laughter, he walked directly into a wall, stubbed his toe AND head, and fell backwards onto something hard and oddly shaped. It happens EVERY time. Without fail. I find this hilarious. 
I had more, but I forget them. I’ll be back later with more stories, I guarantee!
I have the twin curses of high intelligence and low motivation. I’m not bragging here, because it’s a PISSER, alright?
So I’m in 1st year at university and I should be able to walk it with both legs tied behind my head and my arms broken, but because it’s so easy, I never do any work, so I end up with 'B’s all the time, and it’s getting worse. This is a double curse, because I’m in no way unfortunate. I have my life problems but basically (in my opinion) I just can’t be bothered. So people come out with inane arguments that with a pinch of wisdom I could easily and graciously refute, and I don’t know the first thing about them, so my babblings sound like dregs from the mind of a complete prick.
In my defense, however, I completed Tomb Raider on the Colour Gameboy.
What th’heck is wrong with me? Exactly how many times do I have to fall off a cliff before I accept that it hurts?
Mine is The Curse of Getting Lost. I can get lost in a round room with no door and no furniture.
If I were a ship’s navigator, it’d land somewhere on the opposite side of the world.
Robin
I have The Curse of the Daily Second Wind.
I tend to stay up far too late into the wee hours; usually until around 2 or 3 AM. When I get up in the morning (fortunately, I don’t have to get up until 8 AM), I feel very drowsy/groggy; not fun. Until around 4 PM, I feel very drowsy/groggy. By the time I get home after work, I get my second wind; I feel alert and am in no way tired. By around 9 or 10 PM, I start saying to myself, “Self, you should go to bed soon. You need to catch up on sleep”. Unfortunately, I’m not very tired at that time, so I stay up. Around midnight, I decide that I ought to go to bed; but first I’ll check out the SDMB and a few other sites. It isn’t until 2 or 3 AM that I finally pry myself away from my computer, thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”. If I go to bed any time before 1 AM, I toss and turn until it’s too late to get a decent night’s sleep. I accumulate a nasty sleep-debt over the course of each week; by thursday or even wednesday I’m too tired to be very productive at work.
The silver lining to this is that if I do wake up well-rested (only on a weekend, though), I can remain awake and functional for about 30 hours if need be. I bet that I’d fare better if the day were 30 hours (20 awake, 10 asleep) or 36 hours (24 awake, 12 asleep) long.
I think I also have a high intelligence and low motivation twin curse like Ross…
xizor, the Chi-Chi’s chain didn’t close. http://www.chi-chis.com/
I have the Curse Of Having Friendships Last A Year At Most this is when any of your friendships last less than a year. If you make it past a year, that friend is a keeper. People just don’t seem to like me much, they tire of me easily.
I also have the ** Curse Of Being Invisible Unless Being Picked On**. That’s when you are a wallflower until someone decides to call you names or make you feel small and inferior.
Oh, and I’ve also never had a boyfriend or been on a date [I’m 18…there’s still hope for me yet]. Woe is me.
To all those with dating woes - maybe there should be a lonely hearts club or something. At least our hearts wouldn’t be lonely anymore.
Alright, I know that more people here have curses. I just found another; it is the curse of a slow browser. Actually I like that I have DSL/cable or whatever the system/setup may be, but sometimes it is too slooooowwww. ºoº
I also have an unholy triumvirate of curses. The Curse of Platonic Friendship, The Curse of Ill-Timed Divulgence, and The Curse of Oral Paralysis.
The first is the fact that I always encounter a slipperly slope into the Friend Zone, from which I can not escape. I look around at my closest friends and they are as gorgeous as they are off limits. And they’re damn gorgeous.
The second is possibly the most insidious (and incidentally in cahoots with my lack of a “she likes me” detector). There were a few girls who I liked and whom, unbeknowst to me, also liked me. By the time I came out and said anything, they had lost interest or, conversely, by the time they said anything, I had lost interest. Nothing but displeasure all around.
The third and currently most annoying, is my inability to put together a coherent sentence when faced with a damn beautiful girl, or DBG with whom I’m not already acquainted with (in which case, refer to insidious curse #1). Now, I am pretty glib with people and can strike up conversations with waiters/waitresses, cashiers, whomever. Unless, of course, they’re hot, in which case the conversation centers of my brain go on strike. I can’t even come up with something lame to talk about. I just can’t talk. Which, considering the fact that I know at least some of the bars with the fine wimmins, is quite vexing to say the least.
But, hey, at least I’m good at video games. :rolleyes:
KKB: my man and I were nearly scuppered by the curse of ill timed divulgence.
I don’t have a very good ‘he likes me’ sensor, either. I can tell when someone is hitting on me with crap chat up lines, and avoid accordingly. What I can’t do is tell when someone has a crush on me.
So, anyway, I really liked him, but I didn’t know if he liked me, so I wasn’t going to say anything. He really liked me - and knew that I liked him - but he STILL didn’t say anything. I sent him a Valentine’s card, and he didn’t acknowledge it, because he didn’t know what to say. This went on for months and months.
I had to set up a sort of opportunity-on-a-plate for him to ask me out. If I hadn’t, I don’t know if we’d ever had got together. I should have said something before, but I didn’t know he liked me. He should have said something before, but he really didn’t know what to say. It’s a bloody wonder we got together at all.
So, anyway, the Curse of Ill-Timed Divulgence can be broken.
Bottle of Smoke,
All I can say is that your bad luck with cars can’t even begin to compete with mine.
About a year ago I bought a '91 1.8L VW Jetta GL Sedan and since then I have replaced every major componet on the car. Here’s the short list of the stuff I’ve had to do.
Remember- all of this in a year…
And I did all of the work myself (except for the Winshield and transmission)
Replaced the Windowshield
Replaced the right hand side mirror
Replaced all of the car’s badging
Replaced the transmission (manual) twice
Replaced all of the hoses in the engine compartment
Replaced all of the belts in the engine compartment
Replaced the power stering resevior
Replaced the oil pump twice
Replaced the shocks
Replaced the drive axels - after having rebuilt the CV joints
Replaced every seal in the engine compartment
Replaced the radiator
Replaced the AC Fan
Replaced EVERY light bulb in the dash (including the really tiny ones in the instrument cluster)
Replaced all of the light bulbs in the rest of the car, including the trunk
Replaced the exaust manifold
Replaced the Radio Antenna
Replaced the right-front Quarter panel
Replaced the berings in all of the wheels
Added Speakers
Added a pin-stripe
Strip-cleaned the intake manifold
Pulled the engine
Rebuilt the switch that controls the AC and all the vacume motors that control the individual AC doors.
Shampooed all of the seats, carpet and celing.
Taken apart all of the door handles, cleaned and lubed them
Rebuilt another engine and Droped it into the car.
Rebuilt the shift linkage - including replacing all of the gromets for said linkage
but this is just the short list…
I’ll never buy another VW, but soon I’ll be buying a Honda - (105,000 miles before the first tune-up…oh, yeah)
Tyklfe
the racing curse
Every time I decide to fancy a particular driver, the driver’s fortunes take an immediate downswing. Eventually he recovers and wins a race or two, but just as people besides me are starting to cheer for him, something horrible happens, like being fired or heinously injured or killed.
the menfolk curse
All men who hit on me are at least 13 years older than me, and/or heavily intoxicated. Gunslinger doesn’t count.
the discontinuation curse
The secular version of the racing curse. I get turned on to Napster just before it gets nailed by the legals. I start listening to an awesome band mere weeks before they announce their breakup or retirement. I discover that I love candy cigarettes two months before they become completely unavailable in my area.
Curses don’t have exceptions.
My curse is Ferry Boats.
If I’m two minutes late, it left on time.
If I’m 4 hours early, it’s four hours late.
If I’m exactly on time it’s cancelled due to a shortage of butter knives in the galley.