Mine does.
Yes. Yes, you were. This coming from one who spent her formative years sharing a bed with your cranky self. But I have to admit you’re getting better.
My own curse is The Locked-Door-Key-On-The-Otherside Curse. Happened this afternoon at work. This time I actually had a set of keys in my hand, but as the door to my office clicked shut, I noticed they were the keys to my car. Had to call campus police to let me in. They’re so nice, but I think they’re beginning to recognize me.
This curse can cost me anywhere from 50 to 100 dollars for locksmiths. This SO sucks.
My curse: The-Grass-Is-Always_greener…
Seems I am incapable of being happy with whatever I have till it’s no longer mine.
I’m working on a cure, but it involves major a paradigm shifting device and four quarts of scotch.
Almost every guy I really liked, after the first few dates, has revealed he still lives with his mother. I know i am warm and charming, but I wasn’t fishing for someone to take care of me OR vice versa. These are 39-48 year old men! I like mature men, but not those who still have their mothers make their beds…
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Printers. Every one I’ve owned has died in short order after buying it. I also make other people’s printers sick, just by being in the same room with them.
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Memory. Memories of facts, names and events just fall out of my brain. Especially names of people and things – even common things – although I might remember all sorts of stuff about them. For example, I’ll be eating dinner and ask “Please pass the… um… uh… arg!.. you know, the white stuff that comes in a shaker… that makes food taste better but is bad in large quantities for people with high blood pressure… that when sprinkled in a circle around you on the ground can protect you from zombies… You know…!”
My oral exams should be a real treat. 
I’m only in my 30s. Heaven help me when old age sets in.
rivulus
I have The Curse of Telepathic Volunteerism.
Cue spooky music.
In my classes we often change the seating arrangements, are assigned to groups, or are called on to answer questions. At some point during the session I will picture myself getting called on and, regardless of my posture/eye-contact/etc., will invariably hear the teacher call my name. It works at an astonishing rate. While I usually have the right answer, it sucks donkey testes when I’m not prepared.
I also have The Curse of Always Winning Rock/Paper/Scissors. This is a good one, though.
rivulus, I’ve had that memory curse too. As in “Well, I put my keys on that…um, you know, the thing with 4 legs and you sit on it?” Oddly, it has gotten better (less severe) with time.
My first reaction was that this had to do with CURSING, so I would have to say “fuck me” is my curse. But no, that’s not exactly what the thread is about, is it? Anyway, I would have to say my curse seems to be “the person at the front of the left turn lane is oblivious to the green arrow but wakes up just in time for one car (they are the one car, of course) to make it through before it changes to red”
syndrome. I am the person three cars back muttering to myself, “fuck me fuck me fuck me”. The police don’t buy the excuse about “stupid ass people slowing me down” so I don’t even go through the yellow anymore (that last ticket was expensive).
Lucky you! You must be living right or making the right sacrifices to the memory gods or something.
rivilus
My curse is that daylight savings time finds me missing ONE clock out of a dozen in my house, car and wristwatches.
AND it is always the one I’m looking at when I’m late for an appointment and decide I have plenty of time.
I suffer from this, too. Whenever my (now) ex and I used to go anywhere, she’d always tell me “ooh, that girl was flirting with you hard.” I never saw it. I thought they were just being friendly. That’s one of my curses, too, dlgirl. You’re not alone there. Another I have is the CURSE OF HAVING MY GIRLFRIEND LEAVE ME FOR ANOTHER GUY. That’s happened twice-once with a girl I was engaged to. Conversely, I also suffer from the CURSE OF HAVING THE GIRLS THAT DON’T LEAVE ME BECOME RAVING LUNATICS AFTER WE SPLIT UP. Case in point…the above mentioned ex, who always pointed out when other girls were flirting. We dated for four years (I’m 28 now, and we split up almost two years ago). When we dated, I was accused of cheating on her (I didn’t) and cheating on her with my best MALE friend (I didn’t). When we split, she stood in my living room, stripped completely nude, and told me that if I slept with her, all our problems would disappear (partway through the relationship, she had decided that she wanted to become…virtuous, if you will, all over again). So most of my curses seem to revolve around women. The only other thing I can think of is that I ALSO have the CURSE OF LOOKING LIKE JOHN MELLENCAMP AND MIKE MEYERS HAD A CHILD. If anyone doesn’t believe me, email me, and I’ll send you a pic to prove it.
All the bad luck for the year, will occur within two unrelenting months. Everything I own will break, I’ll get sick, and people die.
One example:
Money is tight and first the television dies, next the car is not running right. I buy new television,and the VCR dies. Thre car has a blown head gasket. The tape player on the home stereo starts eating tapes. CD’s don’t exist at this time. The head gasket is replaced, and the muffler sytem falls off. Sometime during this I get a abcesed tooth on a friday. I lay curled in a ball screaming into my pillow until monday. They imedialtely pull the tooth. I spent monday spitting blood and infection, with tooth chips on the lawn under a pine tree. Somebody steals my barbeque grill. I have a very good friend cream himself all over the highway on a motorcycle. He wiped out at about 70 miles an hour in a 25 mile an hour zone. Stone dead drunk, luckly only he got hurt. I had been trying to help him for months, to no avail. The landlord sold the house I was renting, and said if I was out by the end of the month, I would get the last months rent back. I moved back to my parents house for a few months, with the stipulation that I would come back in a few months to dig up my flower tubers. This was all within a six week period. Things would be ok for the rest of the year, except recently.
The last few years have been one big curse. People dying and my health being shit.
I have the Disappearing Boyfriend Curse - I’m dating, or talking to somebody, it’s all going well and one day, poof! They disappear without a trace.
The Disproportionate Breakage Curse - If I spent more than $20 on it, I’ll break it immediately. Less than $20 – lasts me forever.
The Foot-in-Mouth Curse, or How Does That Boot Taste? It never fails, I am the Queen of the Inappropriate Remark.
The Lost Jewelry Curse – see above (Disproportionate Breakage). If it was sentimental, handmade or otherwise irreplaceable, I will lose it even faster.
- The Eidetic Memory Curse - I can’t ever remember where I parked my car, but if I read something once, I can usually remember specific lines and even entire paragraphs from the top of my head. I know page numbers, I can tell you where, physically, on the page the sentence or paragraph was located.
Why is this a curse? No one bothered to teach me how to study. I read what I had to read and remembered it. I got A’s throughout high school and a 1400 on my SATs (I took it three times. The first time I got a 1190 and by the second time, I had figured out that they ask specific types of math problems in every set, just with different numbers. Same with the English part - I read the passage and knew that the question following would be about theme, so I concentrated on the theme and finished each section in ten minutes.)
I got to college and the amount of reading was HUGE. I didn’t know how to skim and pick out what was important. I couldn’t keep up with the amount of reading. At 18, I had to teach myself basic study skills everyone else figured out in third grade.
- The Tone Deaf But Able To Harmonize Perfectly Curse. No one can explain it - I am completely and totally tone deaf. I don’t know an A from a G from a C. But I can harmonize perfectly with most female singers. It’s weird.
The Curse of the Wrong Size Legs - I’m five foot, three and a half inches tall. No matter which store I go to, legs in jeans/pants are always too long for me. In the last few years, some stores have introduced different leg sizes, so you can get your pants in short, regular or long. Inevitably, short goes up to 5’3", and regular starts at 5’3" and goes up from there, which means that short is just a tad too short, and regular is just a tad too long. And whichever would suit me best is sold out anyways.
I also suffer from the Curse of the Second Wind, and attibute it to one of two things:
- I am supposed to be nocturnal. I sleep much better in the day, and always get my second wind late at night, so I can’t sleep normal hours.
- I was supposed to be born on a different planet. One with a slightly longer day than Earth’s 24 hours.
Sigh.
On the upside, I have the Curse of Children, Puppies, Cats and Horses Liking Me, which is usually good. On average, most animals and small children like me as soon as we meet (I frequently hear the phrases “I’ve never seen him/her take to anyone so quickly!” or “S/He is normally so shy with strangers!”) and that’s a good feeling. It’s bad when you really have to leave, and a small child you’ve known for 20 minutes is screaming for you like they’ve never been parted from you before, and don’t want to be parted now.
I suffer from two curses. The first one is only mildly annoying–The Curse of Looking Like I Know What Time it Is
For some reason, people ALWAYS ask me what time it is, no matter where I am. I guess I just look friendly or something. I didn’t used to wear a wristwatch but I got asked what time it was so often that I decided to just start wearing one.
The second curse is much worse than the first. It’s The Curse of Looking Like I Know What I’m Doing
This one is much more annoying because complete strangers ask me questions about whatever it is we’re doing at the moment. For example, people ask me directions all the time–how to get places, where the bathroom is, etc. At Disneyland I must have been stopped 12 times in one day for directions. Even when we were in Greece, people asked me where stuff was! C’mon! I’m CLEARLY another white American tourist! I don’t know where anything is!
Another example is waiting in line at places–at the DMV or Post Office people ask me what line to get in or how to fill out their forms, where to get a number, etc. Even if I’m just standing there, not filliing out any forms or anything, they’ll ask me! At the check-out at the grocery store or department store people ask me if the line is open, if this is the end of the line, if their item is on sale…even in stores people ask me if I know where things are, what time they close, where to check-out…even though I am clearly not an employee! People also just turn to me and ask my opinion a lot too, like “should I order this food? Does this color look good on me? What do you think…pants or skirt? Should I pay the extra $1 and get two? Have you ever been here before? What do you think about it?”…yada yada yada!
What is it with me?! I finall
y just decided that I must look like I know more than everybody else and appear to be friendly on top of that so people aren’t afraid of talking to me.
(The only time this wasn’t annoying was pre-Mr. Sunshine, when I was trying to meet guys…I never had any trouble because guys would just come up to me and ask questions. Where’s the bathroom? Should I get the Bud or the Fat Tire? What’s the score?..)
Here’s the major curse o’ mine:
When I’m in a public place–a line, a store, a sidewalk, a restaurant, whatever…Without fail, a total stranger will ask me for advice, opinions, help, or want to share their life story with me. Perhaps on my forehead there is a message written in neon, visible only to others, that says:
“I Am Knowledgeable” and “I Will Listen To You.”
I suppose it could be much worse, though.
Yep, I suffer from that one too, along with the ‘But You Look So Normal’ Curse, the ‘So, Who Is The ‘Female’, Then?’ Curse and the ‘Well, If You Don’t Do That, What Do You Do?’ Curse…
Why, I’m doing just fine, monseigneur Vis… How is you?
[sub](Yay! My very first flirt on these boards… Keep it coming mrvisible)[/sub]
I can identify with a lot of the curses previously mentioned, especially the wrong line curse, the I always get the lemon curse, and, oddly enough, the cats and dogs love me curse.
But I have a couple of curses of my very own.
The It’ll be on sale tomorrow curse. - I can spend weeks researching a major purchase, picking just the right product, price comparing all over town, and now the internet, make an informed purchase, and two days later there will be a half page ad in the local paper from a store in my neighborhood advertising the exact same product at 20% less than I paid!
And then there’s the It’s discontinued curse. - Re the major purchase above, six months later, I’ll need to replace a small part on said purchase, only to learn that “they don’t make that model anymore”, “no I can’t buy parts”, “the company;s out of business”, or, my favorite, “we don’t sell that $.25 part separately, you’ll have to purchase this major assembly for the low, low price of $49.95”. (Might as well be discontinued as a far as I’m concerned.)
I’ve also had three hard drives die on me within a month of their warranty running out, but I think that’s not a curse, that’s SOP.
I also seem to have that invisible curse. Plus, I’m eighteen and only had one girlfriend, who broke up with me after three months.
I have other curses as well. Hmm…The Curse of the Inoperative Computer. Whenever I want to use a computer, it decides it doesn’t want to work. I can’t go a day without having my laptop crash, or randomly decide to go into sleep mode. I think I have a large electromagnetic field, or something, as other electronic devices also seem to fail. (like watches and clock radios.)