This one’s on behalf of MilliCal, who’s standing next to me (asking “What’s the B stand for?”).
She likes The Simpsons
(BBBQ… the extra B is for BYOBB
“what’s that extra B for?”
“it’s a typo…”)
But honestly, how can you make me choose?
Monorail. It has my all time favorite dialog.
Marge: I’ve found someone who can help!
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, it’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s. Not. Batman.
One where they go to Australia (“i see you’ve played knifee spoonee before”)
Lisa turns Vegetarian (“Dad, those all come from a different animal.” “Sure lisa, a mystical magical animal”.
The one where Homer sample’s Mr. Burns’s aphrodesiac and he and Marge have such uproarious sex that even Flander’s is traumatized by it.
The Computer Wore Menace Shoes.
Homer: “I am not a number! I am a free man!”
Man: “Actually you’re number five.”
Homer: “Ha-ha, in your face, number six!”
Cape Feare
“Maybe you ALL are homozexuals”
“it’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. Boys, knock it off!”
“No one who speaks German could be an evil man”
“Hell, Mr. Thompson” “I think he’s talking to you”
“YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK?”
“A plan fiendishly clever in its in-TRICK-a-sees”
And of course the infamous rake scene.
I don’t remember which year, but the Halloween episode that mocks The Shining. It is 7 minutes of solid laughter in my book.
Hands down.
Agent: Now, when I say, “Hello, Mr. Thompson,” and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [stomps on Homer’s foot a few times]
Homer: [stares blankly]
[to other agent] I think he’s talking to you.
Soooo many great episodes, but the one that I LOOOOVE is “You Only Move Twice.” The one with Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio. I love Albert Brooks, and the writing is fantastic.
Marge: Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep
expecting to get the bum’s rush.
Hank: We don’t have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they
wouldn’t rush; they’d be allowed to go at their own pace.
Joe
Treehouse of Horror VI.
Attack of the 50 ft Woman
“Homer, where did you get that giant 50 foot donut?”
“Well, I acquired it legally. You can be sure of that.”
Nightmare on Elm Street
“There’s no mystery about Willy. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let’s have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.”
Alien ^3
The awesome spoof of “Little Girl Lost”
“This forms a 3D object known as a cube, or Frinkahedron, in honor of its discoverer. Ngoo-hey Ngoo-hey.”
The one with Chief Knockahomer:
“If you ever wanted to see a mailbox shoot a boy, that’s about as close as you’re gonna get!”
The one where Homer gets a perscription for medicinal marijuana:
“I can offer you one of these prescription bongs…would you like the skull or the wizard”.
The Frank Grimes episode:
“I live above a BOWLING ALLEY!! And below another bowling alley.”
But the BYOBBB episode is one of the best:
“Mr McClure, I have this crazy friend who doesn’t eat meat…is he crazy?”
“NO! Just IGNORANT!”
Any episode with Kang and Kodos
WE"VE BEEN WATCHING YOUR PLANET SINCE ITS CREATION…5,000 YEARS AGO…BY GOD!!
The field seems to be bathed in the eirie green glow of some kind of Acel-R-ray
So many to choose from
Forgot about that one!
The whole Hammock District thing…priceless
“…and Homer, if you want to go ahead and kill someone on the way out, that would be a big help”
My hands-down favorite is the one where Homer gets the bypass operation. Almost every line in that episode is funny.
Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie
Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we’re at the parent-teacher meeting. We’ll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you’ve been good, pizza. If you’ve been bad… uh… let’s see… poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I’m not making two stops!
Homer: If you don’t start making more sense, we’re going to have to put you in a home.
Grampa: You already put me in a home.
Homer: Then we’ll put you in the crooked home we saw on Sixty Minutes!
Grampa: [meekly] I’ll be good.
To this day, if I win an argument or receive good news while driving my car, I’ll flick the lights on and off, honk the horn, and shout “USA! USA!”
My personal favourite is where Homer is reunited with his mom…only to see her leave again by the episode’s end. I think it’s the only episode where the theme song isn’t played during the end credits. It’s right up there with that dog episode from Futurama.
I threaten my mother with that all the time.
My favorite is “$pringfield.”
“I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a boogyman, possibly boogymen, in this house.”
“I’m a monster!”
“You’re not a monster. The only monster here is the one who has enslaved your mother. I call it 'Gamblor!”’
“blah manuh ahls”
“Homer, slow down, I can’t understand you.”
“You broke a promise to a little girl and made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed…she’s such a trooper.”
Actually, he first says the garbled message ,then when asked to slow down, he says the same garbled message, only slower. 
Then he says the actual words.
$pringfield probably is the funniest episode, mostly because of the Boogeyman scene:
For your viewing pleasure.
Oh man… anything from season four. But “Last Exit to Springfield,” the episode where Homer becomes the Union boss, is hands down my favorite. I could watch that one on a continuous loop. My favorite bits have to be Lisa’s protest song, and Burns morphing into the Grinch.
I also adore Cape Feare. Oh, and “'Round Springfield,” the one where Bleeding Gums Murphy dies. The best bit without a doubt on that show, if not Simpsons’ history (If I may be so bold), is Grandpa trying to explain death to Lisa.
Lisa: Uh, maybe I need to talk to somebody with a little more age and wisdom.
Abe: Death stalks you at every turn!
Lisa: Grampa!
Abe: Well, it does – aah! Death! There it is. Death!
Lisa: It’s only Maggie.
Abe: [laughs sheepishly] Oh, yeah. You know, at my age, the mind starts playing tricks. So – aah! Death!
Lisa: That’s only the cat.
Abe: Oh. Aah! Death!
Lisa: That’s Maggie again, Grampa.
Abe: Oh. Where were we? Death!
Later, Grandpa is seen through the window pointing at the bird bath, “Death!”
Series 8 - the last great series, but one of the most enjoyable. I think my favourite of all is the Grimesy episode, just because the humour is so relentless and black, without actually becoming mean spirited. Frank is so reasonable, yet in the face of the human tornado, Homer, he’s simply defenceless. The dinner scene is worthy of the great scenes of film and literature (“You have a perfect family, a beautiful wife, … your son owns a FACTORY!”)
About fifty others are second on the list.