What would the media label this hypothetical President’s “special” friend
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law
Her superpowers dissolve all subpoenas.
The perplexing appeal of Florida
Sea minerals for health?
That’s one theory.
Have you ever visited a Trump property?
Yearning for Frugality
All it takes is one glance at the gold-plated toilet…
Weirdest names you’ve ever heard
General car talk
It was also pretty weird back when it was just Private Car Talk.
Can insects get drunk?
The perplexing appeal of Florida
Wasps will find plenty of booze there, but can’t get a stinger until they’re 21.
Where do you draw the line as to what is or is not cultural appropriation?
Can insects get drunk?
When box elder bugs start singing “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer”, then I’ll be offended.
How much of the periodic table can you recite?
Are your folks smart?
No, they think “periodic table” is something you put next to an occasional chair.
Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter
Elon Musk is a Russian stooge
To be fair, I think he was a Russian stooge long before he bought Twitter…
Low-effort Halloween costumes?
Quote from film Pixels
Just write “I ate a Tic Tac!” on a white T-shirt and you’re all set.
I need advice for working at 7-Eleven
Strep throat as an adult sucks
…so don’t drink the leftover Slurpees.
Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter
Recommend a Garment Bag
Um… What exactly are you planning to do to Elon Musk?
Question about gay lifestyle
Do people actually break into cars specifically to steal baseball hats?
No, but they say it’s risky to leave your Village People CDs out in plain sight.
Question regarding the Battle of Carhampton 836 AD King Ecgbehrt of Wessex vs. Viking Raid
Should I answer telephone political polls?
That’s your question?
How High Can I Get in NYC?
Commercials may have finally hit rock bottom
Today in nature I saw
Beyond the Local Group of galaxies
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
My God - it’s full of galaxies!
Military meaning of “In Country”
Beyond the Local Group of galaxies
A rather inclusive meaning.
When you’re old enough for your dental fillings to go bad
Gluing your self down for protest
“Oh, don’t mind Mr. Horowitz. He’s been stuck to the waiting room floor for like, ages.”
What is this animal that visited my front porch at 3:30 AM today?
How often does taking psychedelics turn someone into a better person?
It depends on whether encountering a fluorescent talking raccoon makes you a better person.
Facts Which Sound Fake
I haz a chonk
No, you doezn’t.