…and it’s **Hypno-Toad **for the win.
he was three days from retirement!!!
Except for anger.
Who said anger was a negative emotion?
Ye gods! Not only did I name the wrong movie, but the only one of the series I actually dislike!
And now I will weep in shame.
When the Enterprise got destroyed at the end of Star Trek III, but definitely not at the end of Star Trek II. After all a beloved character can always come back to life, no prob. But the Enterprise? Nope, it’s irreplaceable.
You may cry when surrounded by tear gas. However, you should be puking, too, and, after you’ve escaped, you should describe the experience as “not so bad”, while shrugging your shoulders.
You may cry after your father, on his death bed, reveals that he loves you. This is also the only time it is acceptable to say “I love you” to someone you’re not sleeping with.
When like Alexander the Great, you’ve kicked all the ass that is humanly possible within your reach, and you weep for that “there are no more worlds to conquer”.
Well, you can cry in a few instances:
When Will Smith kills his dog in I Am Legend.
When Sam picks up Frodo to carry him into Mount Doom.
When watching Schindler’s List
When Mulder realizes his sister is dead and sees the ghosts of killed children run around him.
At the end of Battlestar Galactica, when a key character dies while flying over a planet.
At the conclusion of every major sports season, but only if you live in Cleveland.
When King Leonidas has the biggest dump of his life, accompanied by screaming and threats, then he is allowed to shed a tear in exertion.
“GOOOSE!”
You are allowed to cry when you are facing imminent death from dehydration in the desert, if not for anything else than to moisturize your eyes and cheeks.
Any sort of kick/punch/stab right in The Store is reason enough to cry, even if you’re laying on the ground curled up in a ball. However, it’s because you’re going purple with rage and are going to kick serious asses as soon as you can stand.
You spent 2 hours changing a water pump in 25 degree weather on a front wheel drive car in which some dickhead engineer designed with the water pump buried under a bunch of other crap and you discover the gasket slipped out of position and the brand new antifreeze you just installed is running all over the ground when you start up the car.
Did I also mention half way through it started to snow like a Mofo?
Chopping onions. All other tears are sissy tears. 
My fiancee is a real man who doesn’t cry from onions. (Okay, he’s a chef, so his manliness may be questioned.) But at least he’s tough enough not to cry from onions!
The MMC 21/12/2001 also added “Field of Dreams.”
When you drop an anvil on your foot.
When the only liquor store in the county burns to the ground.
I think based on this thread we can now add ‘Paris Jackson’s speech’.