Well, I’m currently a wage-slave at a movie theater. My ‘friends’ from high school, most of whom I haven’t seen or even talked to for the past year, are suddenly crawling out of the woodwork asking me if I can get them into movies for free.
(We do get free movies, and can bring friends, but we can’t abuse the privilage. My theory is that if you haven’t bothered to talk to me for a year, then I have no reason to use up that privilage on you.)
I’m a technical writer for a software company. Most people don’t know what a technical writer does, so I get a lot of polite smiles and nods. When people do know what I do, I tend to get a lot of MS Office questions (especially Word). I usually don’t mind helping if I can, but some people think that I have every menu option of every version of Word memorized – and that I can tell them what’s wrong with their document over the phone (or via e-mail).
I also sympathize a little with the computer folks: one of the reasons I’m in this field is that I’m very good with software, and I learn computer-related things quickly. This, to my mother, means that I can fix all kinds of electronics problems.
“How do I set the clock on my kitchen radio?”
“Cousin Gina [who lives 300 miles away] wants to hook up her digital camera to her printer … I told her you’d help her out.”
:rolleyes:
This is the second complaint in as many weeks that I’ve seen here about VCRs that are hard to program: it was a legitimate complaint in the 80s, when the technology was relatively new, but these days? Still? Really? I have three VCRs at home, of varying ages and brands, and they all have on-screen programming. My mom’s VCR has on-screen programming. My best friend’s VCR has on-screen programming. Cousin Gina’s VCR has on-screen programming. I know that the “impossible to program” VCR will be a joke for as long as there are VCRs, but I had no idea that it was still a serious issue!
Did you ever have one of these can you help me with word conversations where its obvious the user has no clue about word and finally after 5 minutes, Umm do you have Word Perfect?
They reply “Yea, that’s the version” :smack:
I also agree with you on the VCR’s. This is old joke, no?
I can supply friends and neighbors with unlimited duct tape, extension cords, 6 mil plastic bags, box fans and electric leaf blowers.
Sleeepy2, Environmental Consultant.
Ha! 
But no; no one I know uses Word Perfect.
People ask if I can get somebody’s unlisted phone number for them. Or if I can get them a discount on their phone service. They are clueless of the many layers of internal security we have to make sure that sort of thing doesn’t happen (or that the guilty party gets fired if it does happen).
I can sympathise with overlyverbose to quite an extent.
I’ve worked in publishing for over twenty years, although I’ve sidetracked slightly to recording talking books for a while.
I’ve learnt to never, never mention that I do manuscript assessment.
I really like you, but I’m sorry, I don’t have time to ‘just have a quick look’ at your manuscript, even though it is the next Great Australian novel.
No, I don’t have ‘contacts in the industry’ that could just have a quick look at it either; they wouldn’t be too thrilled with me at all, even though it is the next Great Australian novel.
No, not all publishing is a result of rampant nepotism, er, some writing is better than others, that’s probably got a fair bit to do with it, even though you think yours is heaps better.
And, no, (sigh), I can’t just let you have the number of the best literary agent so that she can be overwhelmed by the Next Great… etc. etc.
I would never discourage anybody from writing, and I feel very strongly that writing is something that everyone can participate in.
I just wish people had a better grasp of the demands of the actual industry itself.
Maybe not, but with some of the people who get publishing contract, folks can certainly be forgiven for thinking that, in many cases, actual ability doesn’t really play a very big role.
Well, I’m in interior design…So yes, people are always wanting design advice. Usually I don’t mind though… Although I did have a pesky neighbor calling me constantly to look at something on Ebay to see if it would go with her sitting room rug, bathroom, kitchen, sofa etc… And would I just come over and see what window treatments she needed and did I think she should break through that wall and on and on…That was a bit sticky to say the least. Finally started screening my calls. I think she got the hint, but I still cringe when I see her.
As a chemist who qualtiy checks radioactive medicine, folks rarely ask for anything. Occassionally I get the:
“Can you make acid?”
“Yes, I can.”
“Could you…”
“No, that’s illegal.”
I’m waiting for someone to try the same bit with a nuclear weapon. That I might just tell them what I’d charge for it…
I wouldn’t, it will turn out to be an undercover FBI agent and they’ll find an excuse to send you to GitMo.
Agreed, but when I was a Prosecutor, I got the other side of the equation. “How can you sleep at night” followed by long, rambling lectures about the war on drugs or paranoid rantings about corrupt cops and the “prison-industrial complex.”
People also have a hard time understanding how I could switch back and forth. (Every Public Defender in my office was once a prosecutor, and all but two prosecutors I deal with now were once defense attorneys, with most working for the PD’s office.) They also don’t understand when I explain that we argue with each other all day but still get along, socially.
Sorry for the semi-hijack. Now back to your previously scheduled thread . . .
You and I are in the dame boat.
I work for a Payroll company. No I can’t add to your check. No I can’t get you extra money. No I can’t get myself extra money.
sigh
That sounds like a pretty good job.
But at least those questions are probably asked in a rather tongue-in-cheek fashion, rather than with a serious expectation of an affirmative answer.
I work as a rental caretaker. That is, I work when people want to rent out school spaces when the regular janitors aren’t there–weekends and summer afternoons, mostly. I don’t see what I could get people, frankly. Free one-ply toilet paper?
I’m a medical biller. Mostly (when people hear what I do) they look bored. 
However, I don’t have your insurance plan memorized. I don’t know what they’ll pay and what they won’t.
No, I didn’t bill with the “wrong code”. No, I can’t just “change the code”, that’s called insurance fraud.
Yes, I spend a lot of time on the phone, on hold, with insurance companies…sometimes with customer service in India or Jamaica. sigh
No, I can’t get you free med samples.
No, I can’t diagnose your problem. IANAD.
No, I can’t just write off your balance. And I’m not sending you this bill “just because” - it’s because that’s what your insurance says you owe.
I’m going to stop now before I get depressed.
“You’re an engineer, can you tell me what’s wrong with my car?”
“I’m not that kind of an engineer.”
“Then can you let me blow the whistle on the engine?”
“I only wish I was that kind of an engineer.”
“Well what CAN you do?”
The ability to design high pressure steam piping systems is rarely usefull to the average person.
I’m an engineer, and I work for an intelligence agency.
I wish to God I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me, “Oooh, tell me what you do – or will you have to kill me?”
I always suggest, “How about if I just give you a hint, and then kick your ass?”
I’m an insurance broker, and I get two vastly different reactions when I tell people.
They look like a deer caught in the headlights, thinking I’m going to start pressuring them to buy more life insurance. Now I’ve taken to saying commercial insurance broker. Then their eyes just glaze over, which is a pleasant change.
They want me to get them the cheapest possible car/home insurance. Remember where I said I was a commercial insurance broker? Believe me when I tell you you’re better off with someone else. Hell, my OWN car and home insurance is with another broker!
I’m totally stealing that!
I thought about it a very long time before deciding to post to this thread.
Because I do know you aren’t really asking about people like me.
I’m very glad you asked this question as it gives me a chance to get something off my chest that I have wanted to for a long time indeed.
I have an extremely challenging and rewarding job. And I absolutely hate to be asked what I do. I have struggled with it.
Some of you may recall, as I have mentioned it before, I am the primary caregiver to my bedridden, paralysed Mother In Law. She lives in my home, so I’m sort of running my own mini nursing home with me on call 24/7. No, I never could have imagined I would be doing this but here I am.
When I have to tell people what I do one of two things happens;
It triggers their own mortality issues, perhaps they have aging parents in declining health. They don’t want to think about it, it’s too close to, ‘it could happen to me,’ for most people to want to think about. And, before your very eyes, they fall into their own little hell, you have disturbed the calm waters of their pond and it’s painfully clear on their face. You have, unintentionally, bummered all over their good mood. Keeping in mind this question is most often to arise in a casual social setting, and, well, I think you see the problem.
There is no light and breezy language you can toss off to spin this thing. Believe me, you cannot make light, witty or funny, I’ve tried.
The second reaction is often the more disturbing of the two. At the first break in the conversation the sentence, “You guys deserve a medal!” will be uttered. It’s too late, there’s no stopping this train wreck now. I know they mean well, and it’s nice to be praised but could you dial that back a bit? “Well, MIL is sooo lucky.” (Um, no, actually, she’s bedridden and paralysed, yeah, I know what they mean.) After a few more minutes I’m going to have to leave this conversation because suddenly all you can see is a saint and I’ve become invisible. I am, and always have been, decidedly unsaintly and your behaviour is making me realize the real weight of a good deed. It’s bad enough with people who know me, but if I have to meet someone new I will go to the ends of the earth to avoid this inquiry. I long to be seen for all I really am instead of through your saintly filter.
Our journey has been 5+ yrs to date, yeah, I know, shiver.
Round about 2 1/2 yrs in I had reached a wall and severely needed a break, my husband, clever man that he is, insisted I take six weeks and visit friends in Asia, an old stomping ground for us both (from what seems now like another life). What a opportunity. Still it was challenging, you can get all wrapped up in a thing, laying down your burden sometimes isn’t as easy as it at first seems.
So I’m at a little beach resort on the Andaman sea meeting interesting and varied new friends from all parts of the globe. On the plane ride over I was dreaming of the beach, being free of responsibilities etc, etc. Somehow it had conveniently slipped my mind that I would be asked this question repeatedly the whole time. I struggled and struggled to tell the story in such a way that it was like, “this is what I’m doing, but it’s not who I am, I’m really something else”. It should be noted that I had previously been travelling around as a 35 - 44yr old barmaid. A life I had not the slightest qualm about owning. Every night when I would go to bed I would reflect on how I was so comfortable with one story and uncomfortable with the other.
On that journey I was forced to repeat the story so many times that I finally learned the lesson, I had viewed this as a temporary thing not a lifestyle, but 2+ yrs later, like it or not, I had to admit it had become, on one level, who I was, and it was my life.
So, like, what can I add?
Sorry if I just bummered all over your good mood.
But, hey, thanks for listening, I think this opportunity may have just saved me several hours of therapy.