** “I always felt I was a boy/girl.”
Please get a mammogram
**
Stupid Republican idea of the day
Loopy Limericks
Catastrophic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In theory, we have a democracy,
Though some call it a Christian theocracy.
But whatever you deem
Our land, it would seem
That the GOP goal’s kakistocracy.*
*Kakistocracy is “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.”
What are you supposed to say when someone keeps bringing up that they are overweight?
How to find telephone friends?
**Scandinavians aren’t really happy
Please get a mammogram
**
Getting squished between the plates will cheer you up!
**Weird, strange or impressive things you’ve done
I sold a computer to somebody in Nigeria…
**
I saw those two together and my first thought was “Don’t even think about stealing those towels.”
**“What exactly is the fascination with Homosexuality
I always felt I was a boy/girl.” **
Spock voice: Fascinating
**What substantive difference would it make if Obama had been born in Kenya?
Affirmative Action: Use enslavement history as a test? **
American Affirmative Action got Obama on the path to the White House
** Dear auto dealership:
I have given up wheat, and I want to die.**
So, can you sell me a used Pinto?
**My sister is trying to cheat me out of parents estate. What to do?
Please get a mammogram
**
Don’t ask Why! Just do it!
**The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Most ridiculous dialog you’ve heard
Poll: Was Spock sexy? Data? Odo?
Star Wars Episode VII ANTI-anticipation thread **
**Americans visiting Sydney; How different will the food be?
Why are feet and / or hair gross? **
Yeah, mate. That there is some good kangaroo leg, right off the barbie!
**Need some guinea pig advice
Please get a mammogram
**
But it’s hard to get all those little guinea pig boobs between the plates at the same time!
**Your Best Fun But Completely Useless Skill
I am a safe cracker. Or the power of nail clippers **
Weird, strange or impressive things you’ve done
Removing an Animal from a Glue Trap
Yup, that’s pretty impressive.
** Most despicable television character in history, in your humble opinion
Tom Lehrer is still alive! **
Looks like the Pubbies are polling again
The Saddest Movie Ever
Disney making “Mary Poppins” sequel
With Dick Van Dyke reprising his role.
**Spoiled teen or am I just a grumpy old lady?
Please get a mammogram **
Seems a bit invasive. Just a simple measurement of droopiness should give you a good hint about age.
**You’re beseiged by a merciless, sadistic enemy. Do you fight to the last, or take your own life?
Would you rather wrestle a chimpanzee raised among humans or a wild alligator? **
Is there a fifth option, where I can slip quietly out the back?
**What did the sailors on Columbus’ ships do all day?
Is there some clever way to roll rigid plastic easier?
**
They rolled rigid plastic, if you know what I mean.
** Turkey: Call to prayer. Danger to infidels?
High school rings and letter jackets?**
They’re acceptable attire. Just ditch the yoga pants.