The Artist Formerly Known as Mr. Cynical – What’s up with the name change, dude? What’s the significance of Portnoy?
I’m not the most lucid in the morning anyway, but with all these name changes lately, I’m tracking even worse than usual.
I think it means he masturbates using butcher meats.
Port: where a ship docks
noy: yon backwards
ME? I think it’s a reference to ChiefScott’s upcoming arrival in FLA.
BWAHAHAHAHA!
And I just thought it meant he’s a closeted Richard Benjamin fan.
Yes, I thought the liver reference would make its way here relatively quickly. None of that pre-packaged stuff for me, either. I want it straight fdrom the butcher block.
Thanks to Drain Bead for not mentioning Onion Rings as well.
If you’ve ever read the Bloom County cartoon strip, you’ll recall Portnoy, the somewhat bad-tempered groundhog. That’s the true inspiration. The other choicesI considered were Steve Dallas (but I don’t have the law degree), and the Supreme Ruler of the Universe from the Hitchhiker’s Guide series. Unfortunately, he was only referred to as The Supreme Ruler of the Universe, or as The Man.
So, yes. I chose a cartoon rodent.
On a worse day, I might have picked Nutria. Or Coldfire. Sheesh, what kind of a gay name is THAT?
I have to admit I had the same idea as Drain Bead. Thanks for the clarification, but I think the original idea is stuck in my mind forever now.
Oh yeah, like nobody else here does. 
MY question is: Why did you bother changing your name?
And is your baby now mini porty?
Can we call him port-a-potty?
And this, from a guy who doesn’t even have the decency to wait 'till the liver is out of the cow before…Never mind.
HUH? What does that mean, exactly? As I haven’t reda the (series of) book(s) involved here, maybe you’ll need to explain this to me carefully.
It’s called Portnoy’s Complaint, by Philip Roth. Go pick it up. It’s like a neurotic, Jewish version of American Pie.
The book is Portnoy’s Complaint. I cannot bring myself to explain it further.
Would it be quicker for me to find that book or for someone to explain the liver bit? I suspect it was the American pie of the book, but I can’t be sure . . .
If it is, PN, I don’t do that sort of thing . . . have stated that in previous threads, will continue to state it until people read:)
And Michi, get on AIM. I wanna talk about this with you.O:)
So your full name is “Portnoy Cynical?”
Now I know how everyone felt when I switched from “Flora McFlimsey” . . . This will take some getting used to.
Oh my dear Lord in Heaven, I just explained it to him. I feel so dirty! 
So Portnoy. Does this mean you’ll be hooking up with lolagranola?
Oh fie on that. I’m the same boy you’ve known all along. Still pining for you just like always, still being shot down like a Iraqi fighter jet.
Yeah, what he asked. Why the change? Are you no longer cynical? Don’t tell me that fatherhood erased all cynicism from you, leaving nothing but mushiness and Hallmark card sentiments in its wake. Will you now start believing everything you hear, watching shows about psychics on FOX, and taking the X-Files at face value?
Eh, you shoulda gone with Hodge Podge. That seems more like your style.
THANK YOU, Mully! I’ve been trying to remember Hodge Podge’s name all morning!
And oldscratch…everyone knows it was OPUS who married lolagranola.