Where the hell is my sweater!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

I cannot find my sweater. My striped, front-button sweater that I wear every fucking day. I thought I wore it last night and took it off when I went to bed. Now, I may be wrong about that, since yesterday was rather traumatic for me. But even if my memory is faulty, it still should be somewhere!!

It’s not in either of the hampers. It’s not hanging on any of the coat hooks. It’s not in, on under or around the beds. It’s not in either of the closets. It’s not in either of the bathrooms. It’s not on or around the couch. It’s not under the coffee table or the desk. It’s not on the back of any of the chairs.

I don’t think this is related to yesterday’s incident: I’m not unable to find anything else, I don’t have any gaps in my memory, and Mr. Rilch says I haven’t done anything erratic since I got home yesterday.

SO WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?! I’m ready to blow a gasket. It can’t have left the apartment, but I’ve exhausted all the possibilities. I’ve started looking in outlandish places like the freezer, and under the sink. It better not be in the trash, or I will be extremely pissed.

2

Did you check your car? (For some reason I’ve found many a misplaced item in my car)

3

It MAY be in the truck. I’ll check tomorrow morning. I think not, though, since the last two times I went out, I wore the black blazer.

4

hear this: your sweater has been stolen. That old lady over there has it.

5

Look in the refrigerator.

It probably isn’t in there, but unless you look, you can’t really say, “I’ve looked everywhere.”

Besides the more you hunt for it, the more tempted you’ll be to look in there … so you may as well get it over with.

6

I need to start reading OP’s a little closer.

Please change the word “refrigerator” in my post to something a little less redundant and yet equally comedic.

May I suggest, “too shed”?

7

Or “tool shed”, whichever.

8

Hey man, if you can afford to have two hampers, I think you can handle getting a new sweater. :wink:

9

Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumper.
Wait a minute
Where’s me Jumper?
Where’s me Jumper?
Where’s me Jumper?
oh no.
sorry, the thread title made me have a Sultans of Ping F.C. flashback.

10

It ran off with my beeper.

11

Did you leave it at the hospital ?

12

This gives me an idea, Rilchiam. Attach beepers to all your sweaters! That way, when you can’t find one of your sweaters, all you have to do is call it, then follow the beep!

13

What if you lose the phone?

14

All your sweater are belong to us.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

15

I’d check those coat hooks again. Seems whenever I’m missing something I’m likely to hang up, it’s hiding under another garment that’s also hanging up.

16

Also, check the freezer. I find all sorts of stuff there–duct tape, batteries, foodstuffs, and missing socks.

So there is a possibility that the sweater is there.

17

I checked the refrigerator and the freezer this morning.

For my cat!

We’d literally looked everyplace else. Cabinets, under coats, closets, under blankets, behind window blinds, the microwave, clothes piles, everywhere!

We currently live in an apartment until our house is rebuilt (after a fire) and there aren’t many places she could hide. She’d been in my husband’s lap this morning, so we knew she was in the house. No doors had been opened for her to have escaped.

I finally found her hidden snugly behind the washing machine, only her head barely sticking out. Check behind the washing machine or any other appliances. If my cat was there, your sweater might have hidden there, too.

[sub]I really would have flipped had she actually been in the freezer. I was actually scared to open the door.[/sub]

18

Ooooh, oooh, I know! I know! Obviously, Rilchiam, your sweater is in ghandi’s freezer!:smiley:

Seiously, though, I hope that whatever traumatic events yesterday held for you, things are getting better.

19

It was tangled up in the skirt I discarded Friday night! Serves me right for not hanging it up yesterday. It wasn’t until today, when I did start putting stuff away, that I felt something scratchy and woolen. Woohoo!

chicken#99: Oh, I’d fight an old lady for this thing! No, I wouldn’t. But I’d bribe her with sugar-free candy and a lifetime sub to the Readers’ Digest.

Jack Batty: We don’t have a tool shed.

friedo: Yeah, but this is the sweater. Think of Linus and his blanket.

Twisty: I don’t know that song. What era are we talking?

Neidhart: Hope you find the beeper!

Ayesha: I thought of that too, but I wasn’t wearing it at the hospital. I know if I had, I could kiss it goodbye: they’d return something expensive, like a leather jacket, but anything generic goes either into the used-clothing bin or to another patient. Not that I’d begrudge someone in need, of course.

Duke and magog: We sometimes have trouble finding the phone, at that. Also, the remotes have a way of migrating, despite the fact that I got us a rack for safekeeping.

DDG: Maybe that’s why I fell: somebody set me up the bonb!

Scarlett: No, I checked the coat hooks several times, and moved every garment off of them.

ghandi: The freezer is one of the first places I looked.

SilkyThreat: Were I missing a cat, I would look in that skirt: it’s huge.

norinew: Well, the swelling’s gone down, and my neck is no longer stiff.

Thanks, all, for the good thoughts!

20

Hold on, I’ll check.

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle

opens freezer and looks around

shuffles back to computer

No sweaters, but there is mint chocolate chip ice cream, homemade cappuchino cookies, a roll of red duct tape, a mix cassette tape from 1998, part of a homemade lasanga, a cat toy, and half a box of sudafed. Richiam, would any of that make you feel better? :slight_smile: