Why not stick with the basics?
Andy Jr.
When I go to the doctor i usually insist on my husband staying by my side. Once during a routine physical they tried to pry him away and talk to me alone. The had asked me if I was pregnant and I had told them that I could not be as my husband is steril, not simply infertile. They kept trying to pry him away. I said that anything they wanted to say they could tell us both. THe doctor got a malicious look on his face and said then told me that I was pregnant. I laughed at him and had him run the test again. It was negative. Of course i wasn’t pregnant. He actually seemed dissappointed that my husband did not get upset at all.
And BTW why shouldn’t the real estate agent talk about an expanding family to lesbians? Semen is only $200 a pop. It is not difficult to obtain, heck some will give it away.
Oooh, if this does turn out to be a virgin birth, just THINK of the interesting religion we have percolating here!
Can we all be apostles?
Amen! I passed a stone a few years ago myself. The thing is, I wasn’t aware I had one until I passed it. It happened in the middle of the night, when I got up to answer Nature’s call. I was alone at the time, and it hurt so bad I vomited, and passed out. When I came to, I summoned the courage to look in the bowl. There was a mixture of urine, blood, and pus in it. I flushed, grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from my head, crawled back to the bed, and fainted again. I’ve heard it said that that is the closest that a guy will ever come to knowing the pain of childbirth. At least a baby comes out somewhat round. To those who haven’t had this pleasure, try pissing pieces of aquarium gravel sometime.
Possible names:
Jesus - part 2
Gobbles
Quietandy
Liz Brianne
Laura Schlessinger
Una Persson
Don’t rule anything out, andygirl. Why, just the other day, I heard about a friend of a friend who got pregnant from sperm in a swimming pool. True story.
My mother has suggested “Jesusette”. Opinions?
Oh, I want in on this. I know you don’t really know me, but I can be the maddeningly obscure & mildly creepy apostle.
Of course, the vagina is built to accommodate a child (with a lot of of work, of course). Kidney stones are not a vital part of the life cycle–and as you say, they’re sharp. I think it was pointed out in a recent thread here that they are, in fact, more painful. Congratulations!
Now we just need to find someone whose had kidney stones and been gut-shot…
Is that Granny’s official suggestion for a name?
[sub] well, once again no man is involved…[/sub]
OK, will Una hit me for the irreverence, or calling her Granny?
Good luck with the arm, Andygirl. I’m sure you’ll be throwing in the mid-90s again soon.
(several bb players actually have thrown better after surgery)
I had a family as a client a while back that was 2 women and 3 kids. The thing that I thought was so cool was that when they decided they wanted children, they took turns! I thought that was the neatest idea I’d ever heard of. Mom # 1 had the 1st baby, mom # 2 the second and mom #1 the third. IIRC, they didn’t go the turkey baster route, they engaged the services of a mutual male friend and used the traditional method. They were both quite attractive, lucky guy.
Rather than looking for a name, I think you should be plotting ways of extracting gifts from your co-workers…
I think all lesbians and gay men should spend some time reflecting on a way to get back some of the contributions they have made to office baby showers, bridal showers, maternity leave gifts etc.
ALERT! ALERT! Andygirl, here’s your new sig!!
I, too, have often been the recipient of doctor’s paranoia regarding women of child-bearing age. (And thanks, whoever it was that came in and explained the dr’s point of view: that was cool, thanks!)
The most annoying episode was just over a year ago, when I was newly married. I had been experiencing dizziness off and on in varying degrees of severity for about 5 days when I finally dragged myself to the doctor. Before I did, though, various friends and family had already learned of my symptoms, and suggested that I might be pregnant. Well, this happened enough times that I finally went to the drugstore to get a test, just to prove to them (and myself!) that it wasn’t so. And it wasn’t. By that time, of course, I’d worked myself into quite a state.
So I finally go to the hospital, armed with 5 days of dizziness and the knowledge that this is not womb-related. What’s the first thing they ask me? You guessed it. “NO I’m not pregnant,” I reply. They look at me skeptically, and ask me again. “YES I’m sure,” I reply. They look at my chart, note that I’m 25 years old and have been married for 4 months, and say “We’ll just get you to take a urine test to be sure.”
SIGH
So I do the test, and then they start asking me about my actual symptoms, later going on to do such outrageous un-doctor-like things as examining me and diagnosing my illness. Which was Vertigo, not Pregnancy.
Just as I’m about to leave, prescription in hand, putting on my coat, the tremendously helpful nurse pokes her head back in and tells me: “We just got the results of your urine test. You’re not pregnant!”
Jeez, thanks. No shit!
When I was about 16 years old, my mom took me to the doctor for some illness or other. Before prescribing any meds, the doctor (a woman in her early 30s) asked if I was pregnant. I said no. She asked if I was sure. I said absolutely. She whispered, “Maybe if your mom leaves the room…” I was getting sick of this, and said, “How will my mom leaving make a difference in whether or not I’m pregnant?”
So, she told me about some girl that had been in there recently who, when asked if she was sexually active, replied, “Not in my waking hours.” The doc had asked her mom to leave the room, had the girl take the test, and it turned out that the girl was pregnant. So I guess I could see where the doctor was coming from.
I did manage to convince her, but it probably would have been faster to just take the damn test.
andygirl: Good luck with the surgery 
My God, andygirl, the suspense is killing us here! Is quietgirl going to be a father or what? 
Rasa,
I don’t take the test for a few days yet. Patience, you.
I like the idea of forming a cult. But wouldn’t you all be worshiping the kid, not me?
Eh, there’s enough people crazy about the Virgin Mary to make a precedent. I can handle idolotry. Anyone who wants to, get some tasteful robes and start the apostle thing.
There is a strong precedent. Around 1000 AD cults of the Virgin Mary were quite popular. IIRC they were declared heretics and probably burned at the stake. Try to watch out for that. I suggest investing in stakes. Better to be the burner than the burnee. 
Maybe investing in abestos stakes?
I’m a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, but this is ridiculous.
Okay, I’m coming in on this one late, but I had a VERY similar experience and I just Had To Share.
This happened when I was in college; it was exam season, and it had been a really stressful semester for me. I fainted walking to one of my classes, and I didn’t have time to go off-campus to my real doctor, so I went to the student health center (always a dicey proposition on that campus). They sent me to the triage nurse.
Triage Nurse: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I fainted walking to class.
TN: Could you be pregnant?
Me: No.
TN: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
[Now, I knew what was going through her mind - lots and lots of women have said that, and been pregnant. It happens. And fainting is a Major Pregnancy Symptom™. So I provided some supporting evidence.]
Me: I am a lesbian. I have a girlfriend. We are monogamous.
TN: So you are sexually active?
Me: With a woman, yes.
TN: When was your last period?
Me: Um… [She who hesitates is lost. It’s just that I don’t keep track of these things; I’m regular as clockwork, so I know when my period is coming, and since there’s no chance of pregnancy I don’t worry about it the rest of the time.]
TN: You don’t think there’s any chance at all that you could be pregnant?
Me: Not without divine intervention.
TN: Not even a teeeeeeeny bit?
That did it. I’d been averaging two hours of sleep for most of the week, and I was under a lot of pressure, and I just cracked. I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Ten minutes later, when I managed to get up off the floor and wipe the tears from my eyes, the triage nurse abandoned the line of questioning. I figured I had her convinced, but when it was time for me to see a doctor, do you know who she sent?
A nurse-practicioner midwife!
Actually, though, I owe that triage nurse a lot; there’s nothing like a good long bout of laughter to relieve stress and brighten your outlook, and I got two such bouts that day!
Andy, Can I PLEASE use this as my new sig?