I have a pretty cool “Thing 2” (Cat in the Hatshirt that I got at Islands of Adventure a while ago. Every time I wear it, i get the question: “Where’s Thing 1?” Problem is, I don’t have much in the way of a witty answer. I figure Dopers would have some good suggestions.
‘In my pants’?
“Where all the other wild things are”?
“Rehab”
“Dead, it was horrible, don’t make me talk about it…” mock weeping
“He’s over at your house.”
With yo mamma
Still in the box.
He left me for the Cat in the Hat, thank you so much for rubbing salt in the wound.
I had to kill him because he kept asking me where stuff was.
He’s at a work retreat with the Red Fish and the Blue Fish. I’m going next week with the Sneetches.
option 1: Grab yer crotch and say “I got your Thing 1 right here”
option 2: Flip them the bird.
If he was up your ass you’d know.
In my trunk. With the dead hookers.
– In the Baxter Building, with the rest of the Fantastic Four
– In the Antarctic, where MacReady torched it
– In the Arctic, where Kenneth Tobey zapped it
– Swam back to her island after coccooning Godzilla
– It’s on Interstate 10 in Dragoon, Arizona
– He’s in his box on Morticia Addams’ table
Just get a worried look on your face. Look around for a few seconds, then say “Oh shit! Not again!” Then run off.
Look over their shoulder. Tip your chin up just a bit as if to indicate they should look there. If they do, when they look back at you, point your finger at them and do your best Jack Nicholson “Gotcha” grin.
Nod wisely and say “That’s the question, isn’t it?”
“An undisclosed location”
“Alice’s Restaurant”
Tap the side of your nose and nod knowingly.
“Angelina Jolie adopted him.”
“Flying kites in the hall! Bump-thump, thump-bump down the wall in the hall!”""
Say “You don’t know Thing One about Thing One!”
I don’t understand the OP. 
thing one and thing two are famous trouble makers from “the cat in the hat” book.
very dangerous twins.
Here’s the wikipedia page on The Cat in the Hat. Here’s the best picture of them I could find.
Here’s Thing 1! Problem solved! 