Where are all these love songs focusing totally on physical attributes? Perhaps you should look in other genres besides Jamaican dancehall for wedding songs?
Apparently it can be a bad idea to tell strangers on the Internet where you live… anyway, most of the prostitutes are good-looking… but I chose the least pretty ones because they happened to be the friendliest (I like porn where there is a connection between the two rather than ones that verge on a rape fantasy) - though in the case of the kissing one there weren’t any others I could find in the area. I paid about $150 for half an hour I think.
Wait all these prostitutes live at your house?
Pretty sure they were talking about what city.
Dr Hook - When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman + lyrics
I think the OP is channelling Jack Nicholson from As Good As It Gets.
The fact that you don’t understand the difference between
-
genuinely not being bothered by unattractive aspects of your partner’s appearance, and
-
deliberately denying or repressing any awareness of unattractive aspects of your partner’s appearance,
suggests that you don’t really know much about love and relationships.
I don’t want my fiance to find out about my posts if I can help it… well maybe I’ll just confess gradually sometime…
I think I understand the difference between not being bothered by something and trying not to be bothered by something…
That is a better “spin” on my problem… I’m merely just “bothered” by her belly.
So what happens if something bothers you? Give up and think she’s not suitable to marry?
Yep she’s as good as it gets in my life. I can imagine a more attractive body for her (though her old nickname was “the body”) but that would mean she’d be in even more demand from other guys and I’d be more “out of my league”.
Some general thoughts on the large number of threads and responses around **JohnClay’s **relationship/marriage…
JohnClay appears to lack the filter between brain and mouth/fingers and says the things that most of us prefer to keep to our own private thoughts, or that we even decide to suppress because we feel they aren’t appropriate thoughts or even important thoughts. He seems to understand and see things more black and white that those of us that understand and see shades of grey.
But you know what? That’s okay. People come in all sorts of spectrums and who are we to say that only people who fall within one or two standard deviations of what we consider to be ‘normal’ should be allowed to get married?
Surely what is most important is how **JohnClay **and his partner treat each other in real life, not about the words he posts here on a message board. And none of us, unless we know them both in real life, can comment on that. Anything that he writes on this board is filtered through his view of the world, and I think we can all agree that’s an unusual world-view and one we aren’t particularly familiar with.
If **JohnClay **and his partner have both agreed to commit to being together for the rest of their lives, who are we to judge how they choose to go on that journey together?
I have in the past worked with adults with Down’s Syndrome, many of whom lived happy lives together in committed relationships. Those relationships were of a very different nature to the ones that I have, that you may have and that most people have. But it really frustrated me when so-called ‘normal’ adults would be so judgemental about the lives these people were leading, simply because these people didn’t match their narrow definitions of what a husband and wife should be.
Sorry if this sounds over the top and dramatic, but it frustrates me how narrow-minded and judgemental people can be when others live their lives differently. JohnClay conducts a relationship with his partner in the best way he knows how. His partner is happy enough with that to agree to marry him. By all means, let JohnClay know when the things he says are not considered approriate thoughts to air in a social setting, and try to challenge his thinking, but don’t extrapolate that out to whether he is worthy enough of marriage.
BTW when I was a kid I’d avoid many school outings (a train ride, a basketball game, some camps) due to fear of the unknown. I’d spend a lot of time daydreaming of hypothetical places, devices, etc, and I wrote a lot of stories with pictures and also comics and catalogs.
This was my favorite book:
I remember when I started school I wanted to play with someone then they turned me down. I didn’t really initiate friendships for a long time after that. When I was maybe 11 I told my dad the name of the girl I liked and he later told my mother and I stopped trusting my parents after that. Soon after I started high school I was asked out on behalf of someone else. I copied a friend’s story where he said “I’ll think about it”. She wanted an answer of yes or no so I said “I guess no”. I later also worried about what my parent’s reaction would be if I had said yes. In high school I was asked out a few times and had an offer of sex but I fixated on the first girl who I said no to. People made efforts to get us together including inviting me into the toilet/change-rooms and pushing me into her. I was quite popular at school though I was bored with the popular groups. I also did what people asked me to in inappropriate times - e.g. I asked a girl if she’s give a certain young celebrity a blow job even though I didn’t know what it was. When I watched myself on videotape when I was young, I’d never give the camera any eye-contact. But after reading body language books I learnt that eye contact was important. I also learnt that if a girl likes you and she turns down an offer to meet up, she’d usually suggest an alternative time. BTW in my life I hardly ever seriously considered working full time - once I had thought of working for a Christian magazine and/or running a Christian band that would reuse material from a cassette and be a hit on the secular charts. I imagined the entire music video based on the structure and lyrics of my favorite song of theirs.
When I was nearly finished high school I started to have a constant monotonic chuckle in certain situations. It took the disapproval/mocking of two people on separate occasions to stop me from doing it. Then I think I became more reserved and controlled. In university I explored both sides of the creation vs evolution debate and became an atheist after being in contact with an ex-creationist. Then I became suicidal since I was depending on the paradise of the afterlife including having a girl in heaven to overcome my dissatisfaction with my life. (BTW I later found out that Jesus said there would be no marriage in Heaven)
Then I read about being happy all the time (Ken Keyes’s earlier works) and was able to eliminate most negative emotions and just have preferences rather than demands… I later got unwell and went to hospital a few times. I was also in the middle of killing myself using carbon monoxide from a car and I changed my mind due to two songs I was hearing on the radio including the New Radicals - You Get What You Give
Eh, a little to obvious for great art. It’s like the Thomas Kincaid of trollery.
I was thinking more Raymond Babbitt from Rain Man, but sure…
On the other hand:
Yeah, you’re absolutely right. Their relationship, their choices. And if this had been posted in MPSIMS, I’d be right there with you with the “judge not” thing. But the OP chose to put this in The Pit and ASKED for our judgement. He’s clearly understanding of rules and expectations as long as he’s read them somewhere. Therefore: obvious troll is obvious. Or high. Or needs to be in a group home with controlled internet access.
(I’ve actually missed whatever stuff lead up to this, so I don’t know the backstory here.)
I think I’ve only been like that since I started seeing psychologists/psychiatrists. They wanted to know how I feel about things, etc. When I was younger I didn’t think about things very deeply at all regarding my future, the nuances about relationships, etc. BTW I find it a lot more quicker to experience some of the consequences of my belief system here than to socialize and risk upsetting people in real life.
I see this as meaning that I based my beliefs on a logical structure and others often use intuition. As far as black and white concepts go - I think things are either “A” or “not A”. I’m not sure of exceptions.
Thanks for your post.
This is my favorite line ever. This whole thread would have me laughing my ass off, but I’m trying to not wake up the boyfriend, so I’m just breaking into little paroxysms of giggles.
Dude, you are either a fairly good troll, or your relationship and mental health problems manifest themselves super hilariously.
If I were you, I’d give her plenty of time to cope with the news that she doesn’t exist before confessing that I’m a troll.
Pretty sure those two concepts are intricately linked.
I can kinda get behind this. It’s actually a fairly thoughtful way to make use of a messageboard.
Oh good grief. Someone call Snap-On - they seem to have misplaced a damned tool.
Hopefully, they’ll swing by to pick up JohnClay shortly.
Tell your girl immediately about this thread and then help her join the Straight Dope community.
We’d all love to see what she has to say about your ugliness.
Think of it as experiencing the consequences of the interaction of BOTH of your belief systems.
Well, I’ll say it: I don’t think you have any business being in a relationship with anyone – civilian or prostitute – until you get your cognitive and social issues in check. You’re horrifying.