I honestly think you’re going to be happier than the majority of couples.
Please stop asking for advice about anything other than really tiny aspects of this relationship - I say that cause I looked at your earlier thread and saw how you dumped her before based on internet advice.
As in this thread, there are huge risks that you may be given advice that makes you reconsider stuff that you shouldn’t be reconsidering. You and your fiance are consenting adults and no matter what other posters are saying you actually seem much happier with her than most men are with their wife.
This is an obvious case of men are from mars, women are from venus, and you are from zog.
I am sure you’ve read a lot of Harlequin Romances, but he’s actually right. Things that flew right past you or you let slide during the first flush of love can start to get to you later. Or as Matt Groening once wrote (paraphrased) “Your boyfriend’s hyena like laugh will NOT become endearing”.
Pitchmeister, is right in a way too. Some annoying things will not seem important but sometimes others will. That’s why some people fall out of love, and it’s silly to say that they were never really in love in the first place if that happens.
It’s not silly to say that they may have been “in love” but never really had a true lasting love. Pretty much by definition, right? If it didn’t last, it wasn’t lasting love.
Most couples who self-identify as still happily loving after many years or decades together seem to distinguish pretty clearly between what they have and what the initial “in love” phase was. Yes, being in love doesn’t last; sometimes it’s replaced by deeper love and sometimes by indifference and parting.
No delusion to it at all. I normally like petite more slender women but Laurie was neither. However she did have 3 qualities that are the ones that make a woman super attractive to me: A beautiful face, a feminine disposition & she treated me very well. Super-model type women may be physically attractive but it takes so much more then that to make a beautiful woman. But honestly I don’t typically find model type women attractive because even though I’m 6’1, tall women just don’t do it for me.
Also, referring to your gf’s vagina as a “snail trail with long hair” is very degrading. So no, you haven’t “just” mentioned her belly. You’ve alluded to her in a very degrading fashion over more then just her belly.
And I hope your visits to hookers haven’t brought home any gifts that keep on giving. Condoms (assuming you used one) don’t protect against all things and are certainly even not a fail safe for the things they actually may protect you from.
Ever heard of masturbation? Seems like you could save a lot of money by giving it a try. I can’t imagine sex without kissing. I also can’t imagine being with a woman that didn’t like me to give her oral sex because I really like that too! Something tells me you don’t know the first thing about it though (other then receiving it). May as well just masturbate IMHO. Guess those are just a couple of the reasons hookers don’t appeal to me.
And if it’s just about you “getting off” then really, masturbation is the answer you seek. It also sounds like she doesn’t enjoy sex which leads me to believe you’re just not very good at it or most likely that SHE FINDS YOU REPULSIVE. My gf says after reading your posts she finds you repulsive. Personally I just think you’re socially inept and an asshole that doesn’t know the first thing about making love to a woman. I guess when your learning comes from banging hookers all you learn is that it’s just about the end result and not the journey that gets you there.
And why on earth would someone pay a nasty skanky UGLY hooker for sex??? There’s LOTS of ugly women on the internet (chat rooms, craigslist, etc.) that will do it for free. On second thought, most of them are probably too pretty for you too.
By the way, it isn’t Jack Nicholson this guy reminds me of. More like Phil Hendrie.
Guin was defining “true love”=“true lasting love” and that a 1-3 year love before you get disillusioned or annoyed by anything is mere “infatuation”. You are moving the goal posts for her.
Reminded me of the Woody Allen/Jon Lovitz scene in Small Time Crooks…
Ray: Remember my nickname in the joint?
Benny: The Brain?
Ray: The Brain. That’s what the guys used to call me right?
Benny: But, Ray, that was sarcastic!
That’s not QUITE what I meant. It sounds like JohnClay thinks that being in love ONLY includes the honeymoon phase. And if that’s the case, then it IS infatuation.
When you said she was “more beautiful to me then any woman I had ever known” I thought you meant her overall appearance. I guess “beauty” can also apply to the personality so I find the term a bit ambiguous. BTW I also don’t typically find model type women attractive - I see flaws in basically everyone which I think is good because in a way the flawed beauty of a model is kind of equivalent to the flawed beauty of my fiance.
A “snail trail” is part of her belly!
And I said it had involved long hair just in case you assumed that it was just very short from shaving it a few days earlier.
The prostitutes are regulated and have to be checked for diseases every month or so and they always make sure you wear a condom - and have a shower first.
Well I can ejaculate in less than a minute… and like I’ve said I no longer feel much sexual pleasure - like about 10% of people.
And I can’t imagine sex without a partner even though you seem to think it is a reasonable alternative. And anyway I do enjoy kissing and cuddling… and I can also “save a lot of money” by doing it with my fiance.
Well people are different and there are different types of compatible couples. I imagine that there is the possibility of a smell or taste or pubic hair… I also think it would be a bit boring. I can still please her just having sex with her - and in the past I stimulated her “deep spot” with my finger.
Well I’ve watched some educational videos about it… BTW some people rave about anal sex but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Well remember that I’ve been to prostitutes TWICE and I’m in my thirties. Surely that shows you how much I like them. I’ve had sex with my fiance many dozens of times. I was keeping a list about it though I’ve stopped doing that.
She starts me off by masturbating me! Why be a sucker and go to the effort of doing it myself? Also it involves a thing called human companionship and intimacy - to a superior degree than if I was paying large sums of money.
Why does she always initiate it or take my slight hints? Apparently a lot of guys wives find it hard to get in the mood, etc. I’ve also asked her if she ever masturbates and she said she used to. She seems to enjoy sex with me more than masturbation. She also moans and says things like that she likes what I’m doing or keep going.
Ok that makes perfect sense - she initiates sex very regularly and she took me back after I broke up with her (though initially she didn’t want to chat about it) and she keeps saying I’m hotter than the sun, etc, so therefore “SHE FINDS [ME] REPULSIVE”.
Ok so that proves that a girl that I’ve had a deep connection with for years including kissing, cuddling, sex, playing around, flirting, etc, also finds me repulsive.
You haven’t been reading all of my posts. I barely feel any kind of orgasm but I like the parts before that happens and I try to do things like bite my lip to try and last longer… so therefore “it’s just about the end result”?
They seemed friendly and they weren’t completely ugly. Also there is little chance of rejection and I just wanted to get over my problem of being a virgin.
I said “When I was younger I didn’t think about things very deeply at all regarding my future, the nuances about relationships, etc.”
Well I used to massage her “deep spot” for long amounts of time. She enjoyed that or at least that’s what she claimed. And I’ve done that more than “once”.
Well I can often tell if she’s feeling “unwell”.
She never seems to mention that she dislikes my belly - BTW many guys she knows including her brother have HUGE bellies. Some look like they’re extremely pregnant. I try dieting from time to time - I lost some weight but put half of it on again. It seems like belly fat is very stubborn though. BTW she seems open to dieting and used to be open to doing exercising such as walking but she thinks that is too hard or boring. Though she liked watching “The Biggest Loser” a lot. I used that to tell her about the Biggest Loser diets or that sometimes people thought that they couldn’t do it but ended up doing a lot more than they imagined.
Ken Keyes’s early books said that people could gradually learn how to eliminate negative emotions… and that happened to me for many days but I got very manic. A book of his also said you wouldn’t need as much sleep and that’s what happened - I slept every second night or 4 hours in one night. His later books stopped mentioning constant happiness and the centers of consciousness, etc. They involved used fairly mainstream self-help concepts.
Claiming something that isn’t factual doesn’t make them a liar. If they believed in what they were saying, they’re deluded, not a liar.
A therapist? I’ve been seeing psychologists and psychiatrists for more than ten years… BTW I think the kind of introspection they got me to use as well as self-help books is a major cause of my introspection. Like I said earlier, I didn’t used to think deeply about my own life at all. Well I might fantasize about various girls and write letters to them or send them a mix tape with a message at the end about them becoming my wife, etc. But I didn’t think hard about how successful it would be. I thought it would either work or not work… I didn’t think much about what alternatives there were so that I could be more likely to get success.
Tact - I told my fiance when I was breaking up with her that I “didn’t love her enough”.
Compassion - one time she was in her car getting ready to leave and she asked “do you deliberately want to hurt my feelings?” She then said that sometimes I used to tell her that it was time to go home and that this sometimes left her crying. This caused me to start feeling teary. I said I did that because I read that you shouldn’t let dates drag out too long (I used different words). I said that I didn’t realize that she felt that way.
Example 2:
I sometimes cry in movies - I also did today when watching these excerpts from “Bad Boy Bubby”
Don’t know. I’d try to avoid either in a mate, though.
Besides, why does one fucked up trait have to compete with another? If I was a dick to my girlfriend, would that make me “better” than someone who physically abused her? Who cares? Either way, I’d be wrong.
I think this thread reached its climax long ago. The OP seems to enjoy it if for nothing more then to prove to himself he is better then someone who is an adulterer.
So what the hell. Yes, you are a better person then an adulterer. Now go and frolic in your repulsion and have a happy marriage! Too bad your orgasms aren’t very strong. I’d suggest that orgasms that take time to build are much better and stronger. As I’ve aged mine have certainly gotten more intense. Maybe it’s your meds that are killing your orgasmic intensity.
Yay so according to you I’m a better person that a large proportion of people!
Well for a while in the past I used to get a lot of tears during my ejaculation. I guess my brain chemistry is mixed up. I haven’t been on the same medication for many years so I don’t think it is due to any particular medication.
WhyNot nails it again. And grude. I swear, I was only half joking before. I think this deuce gets off on the responses to his belly talk. That’s why this thread is in the pit and not in IMHO.
But perhaps I’m wrong, and if I am, then I want to make this point to JohnClay…please don’t think that just dieting or working out will take care of the issue with your fiance. I mean, if she diets down enough, it will help, certainly. But body types are weird. Some women can get very fat and still have their tits and ass be the biggest things about them. And some women can get much, much less fat and still have their belly poke out the most. So, you may want to accept that even if she does lose weight to please you, she may still have that tummy poking out. Have you tried doing a jedi mind trick, where you learn to embrace a flaw, and flip it so that it has some kind of sexy, erotic twist to it? That shit works. I embrace all of my flaws to the point where I have learned to find my faults sexy. It’s exhausting. But it works!
But this advice is really for anyone reading this thread who relates to the OP on some level and may benefit from honest feedback. I don’t think that is what the OP is here for.
An adulterer is better than being a wife-beater. What’s your point?
I’m reminded of Chris Rock’s comment about people who want credit for doing things you’re supposed to do. To paraphrase, “You’re not supposed to commit adultery, you low expectation-having motherfucker!”
