Which is worse?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Let’s try to keep these in pairs if we can.
Which is worse:

  1. Being attacked my three midgets in gorrilla suits,
    -OR…
2

  1. Watching an episode of “American Idol.”

  2. Having every hair on your body plucked out with rusty tweezers,

OR…

3

  1. Having every single part of your body waxed.

  2. Being told you’re not good enough for the high school football team, or…

4

  1. Sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol.

  2. Seeing a tatoo of Paris Hilton on your mother’s breast,
    OR…

5

Seeing Paris Hilton Tatooing your mother’s breast.

  1. Having the SDMB shut down

OR…

BTW, Sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol was my original post…then I changed it.