Ralph rules!!!
From the episode where Marge is put in the insane asylum & breaks out…
Chief Wiggum: “What do you say if you see Mrs. Simpson?”
Ralph: “Freeze you crazy mommy!”
From the Lurlene episode:
“Hold on to your pitchforks, ev’rybody! It’s time for
America’s favorite syndicated country music show, Ya-hoo!”
…a hillbilly donkey’s head explodes, followed by a great
sendup of Hee-Haw.
from the Monorail episode:
Somebody (can’t remember who) opens an emergency equipment
cabinet on Homer’s monorail, revealing an opossum family.
Homer: I call the big one ‘Bitey.’
from the Flaming Moe episode:
The sendup of the “Cheers” opening credits…
tib:
DaveX:
bup:
All of these are among my favs. Others:
Ralph Wiggum: “Hi, SuperNintendo Chalmers!”
Homer: “Stupid Bug, YOU GO SQUISH NOW!”
The episode where Homer floods the town: Milhouse is getting dressed, and he puts his pants on and the legs are too way too short. When Milhouse opens his door, all the water comes splashing in, but his pants stay dry. “Allright! Everything’s comin up MILHOUSE!”
When Homer is reading the paper in the morning and comes across the free trampoline in the Classifieds: “TRAM-BOPPA-LEAN!”
All these are great. Couple more:
Homer loses Maggie, calls Police to report her missing.
Operator: “Please Hold”
Piped in music begins playing “Baby Come Back”.
LMAO!!
Also, the filming for “Radioactive Man” as the acid is rushing toward Renier(?) Wolfcastle
Wolfcastle: “Only Fallout Boy can save me now!”
*nothing happens *
Wolfcastle: “Uh-oh” (puts on goggles. That part kills me)
As he’s being washed away
“my eyes! The goggles do nothing!!”
I meant to post earlier, but I was too busy laughing and had to get back to work …
Troy McClure: And now, I’ll leave you with what you all came here to see. HARDCORE NUDITY!
Scorpio: Ingenious, isn’t it, Mister Bondt.
Bondt: Scorpio, you’re totally mad.
Scorpio: Heh! I wouldn’t point fingers, you jerk.
Bondt: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don’t expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral. You’re going to die now!
Bondt escapes.
Scorpio: Stop him! He’s supposed to die!
Homer tackles Bondt.
Scorpio: Nice work, Homer! Am I proud of you!
Homer (blushing): Well.
Scorpio: When you go home tonight, there’s gonna be another story on your house. Thank you!
Soldiers machine-gun the secret agent.
Jose Flanders: Buenos-ding-dong-diddily-dias!
Lord Thistlewick Flanders: Charmed. Eh, a googly-moogly.
From my all-time favorite episode, “26 [?] Short Films About Springfield”:
Some folk’ll never eat a skunk
But then again some folk’ll
Like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
Plus pretty much anything involving Lionel Hutz: “You have nothing to worry about, Mrs. Simpson. I’ve argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as an attorney!”
I hate to say it, but I think this quote doesn’t even register a 4.6 on the Wiggum scale. When there’s such gems as:
“Tastes like burning!”
“Tomacco tastes like grandma.”
“What’s a diarama?”
“The pointy kitty stole my key.”
“When I grow up, I want to be a veterinarian. Or a caterpillar.”
“What’s a battle?”
“I bent my wookie.”
“Ms. Hoover? A worm fell in my mouth and I ate it. Can I have another one?” “No, Ralph, just put your head down and go to sleep.” “Sleep?! That’s where I’m a viking!!”
Bovine University is good, but not the best ever.
Oh, and…
Homer’s Phobia:
Bart: I don’t know. A bunch of guys, hanging out in the woods together. Seems kinda gay.
::silence::
Homer: Young man, that is a very immature attitude!
Brush with Greatness:
Burns: Have you painted the rich and famous before?
Marge: Well…only Ringo Starr.
Burns: Ringo…Starr?
Smithers: He was the drummer for the much popular Beatles (or something like that…)
Burns: Beatles, eh? I seem to recall their caterwauling on the old Sullivan show. What WAS Ed thinking?
Supercalifrag…er, Sherry Bobbins:
Homer: Shut up, Flanders!
Flanders: Okali-dokily-doo!!
Eh, one more.
Who Shot Mr. Burns?
Burns: Take that, [something], take that convenience-mart! Take that, nuclear power plant- oh, fiddlesticks…
Gets me every time. 
Oh yeah, what about the episode when the Carnies squated in the Simpsons house.
Bart jumps into Hitlers car, knocks off the park brake and it rolls into a tree.
Nelson Hey man! You wrecked Hitlers Car! What did he ever do to you? PUNCH!!
Then there’s when Principle Skinner is trying to win his mom a lamp at the ring toss. His mom is just tearing into him about being a lousy thrower. He then starts throwing for the Commando combat knife.
I cant believe it. I read thru all these stupid post just to see if anybody got it right.
well I got just one word.
SIDESHOW BOB
anything with him in it.
ok thats 2 words, well actually its 8 words, now its…forget it.
and in second place is anything with BURNS.
maybe that says more about me.
I haven’t read this thread so I’m hoping that I’m not repeating anything, but:
When Ralph Wiggum discovers: “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”
When Marge and Lisa are out of town and Homer is taking care of Bart. Bart is dragged home by the madame of the brothel. Homer answers the door wearing only a cardboard box and states: “I’ve misplaced my pants.”
When Homer realizes that he’s missing the Chili Cookoff, he says (in the shaky tone of a drug addict: “I’m missing the chili cookoff. I’m missing the chili cookoff!”
When Homer sends a letter to Mr. Burns, but then decides to intercept it at the post office:
Homer: (in a high-browed accent):“Hi. I’m Mister Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.”
Post office worker: “OK Mr. Burns, what’s your first name.”
Homer: (in same accent) “I don’t know.” And then runs out.
Great Idea.
:D¡Yoink!
- The episode where the Germans buy SNPP:
German boss: vell, ve are from ze land of chocolate!
Homer: mmmm… Land of chocolate… begins to dream
German: Homer… HOMER!
Homer: I’m sorry, you were talking about the land of chocolate?
German: Zat vas ten minutes ago!!!
- “Spring Break” episode:
the boys are in Knoxville…
Martin: sorry, guys, I spent my last ten dollars on this Al Gore doll!
pulls string
Doll: You… are… hearing… me… talk…
when they go to see Andy Williams, and Bart, Milhouse, and Martin are asleep, but Nelson is utterly enraptured by “Moon River”… priceless.
The one where Homer wants to go to the big football game. He’s driving to work and hears a contest on the radio where the prize is two tickets to the game. He knows the answer, but he’s nowhere near a phone, so he risks life and limb to get to work where there is a phone. Just as he gets there, he hears Flanders win the contest. Homer is heartbroken, weeping openly and lamenting the unfairness of it all. Inconsolable, he changes the station on the radio. The new station is playing Eddie Money’s “Two Tickets to Paradise” … and it cheers Homer right up! He plays some air guitar, says “excellent guitar riff” and sits there grinning.
When Principle Skinner and Edna Krabappel come out of the school to face the mob, and Skinner is wearing a bandolier of what appears to be dynamite. Chief Wiggum looks at him and cries out “it’s not dynamite! Those are Hot Dogs! Armour Hot Dogs! What kind of man wears Armour Hot dogs?”
always sends me reeling with laughter.
Homer: “They’re dogs… and they’re playing poker!” (screams in terror)
Troy McLure: “Hi I’m Troy McLure! You might remember me from such educational films as ‘Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun’ and ‘Firecrackers - the Silent Killer’”.
Lionel Hutz: “Uh oh - we’ve drawn Judge Schneider”
Marge Simpson: “Is that bad?”
LH: “Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kind of ran over his dog”
MS: “You did?”
LH: “Well, replace the word ‘Kinda’ with the word ‘Repeatedly’ and the word ‘Dog’ with ‘Son’.”
Mr. Burns: “Ahh! 60 watts! What do you think this is, a tanning salon?”
(Homer has both arms caught in vending machines)
Rescue Man: “Homer… um… this is never easy to say… I’m going to have to saw your arms off”
Homer: “They’ll grow back, right?”
Rescue Man: “Oh, yeah”
Homer: “Phew!”
(saws start up)
Rescue Man: “Homer, are you just holding on to the can?”
Homer: “Your point being…?”
So many moments…
My absolute fav:
Homer: You guys have stood in my way long enough! I’m going to clown college.
Bart: I don’t think any of us expected him to say that.
My runner up:
(Santa’s Little Helper is missing, I think it was the one where Bart allowed him to get repossessed so he could keep that very expensive mega awesome dog. Bart’s at the kitchen table crying because he misses SLH)
Homer: Well crying about it isn’t going to help, unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit here and eat dogfood until your tears smell like dogfood, or you can get out there and find your dog!
Bart: (leaps up) I’ll do it! (darts out the door)
Homer: Aw, I almost got him to eat dogfood.
Yes!!
I have soooooo many others, but I have to run. Enjoy.
Unfortunately for us, the syndicated shows oftentimes cut out some of the best pieces of the episodes. It’s usually the pointless extended/repetitious scenes that get the cut. This, alas, is why we never see the entire extended “You don’t make friends with salad.” dance, during which Marge, Maggie, Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II join in.
As for a scene that always makes me giggle. . .
Reporter: Question for the barbecue chef. Don’t you think there is an inherent danger in sending untrained civilians into space?
Homer: I’ll field this one. The only way we’ll be in any danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes! Wait a minute. . . The Statue of Liberty. . . That was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
I always laugh when I think about the episode where Homer goes back to college.
(in the lecture hall)
Teacher: I see a lot of new faces this year. Well, you know what they say, “Out with the old, in with the nucleus.”
(everyone laughs except Homer)
Teacher: Now lets… oops. (drops all his lecture cards)
(Homer says something and then laughs and laughs and so do I)
The one where Homer is driving down the street singing
this to the Flintstones song,
Simpson, Homer Simpson
I’m the greatest guy in history.
from the town of Springfield
I’m about to hit a chestnut tree.