Haven’t seen this one in years,still laugh thinking about it. Bart has a crush on an older girl and they’re playing a video game.Parts are; “Lookout!,here comes the conservative judge!” “Quick!, hit the change of venue button!” Lands in Texas and gets fried. The whole scene is a rapid fire laugh slamming the political and justice system in about 10 seconds.
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- I like the scene (episode unknown) where Lisa is talking to herself about how lonely being smart is, and she looks over and Ralph is playing with a mailbox: he puts the flag up and laughs, and then puts it down and goes “Awwww,” - MC
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Let’s not forget all the things Bart wrote on the chalkboard.
A complete list can be found at http://www.snpp.com/guides/chalkboard.openings.html
I love the episode where Homer is running for president and his campaign puts out an ad with a subliminal message in it. Homer pronounces it subliminable. How did that episode end anyway?
Mofo Rising’spoint about sydicated cuts is a good one. I remember that one of the funniest incidents was in the episode in which Homer goes to college, Homer says "I always wanted to go to college…but it was not to be. The flashback scene in the counselor’s office is really funny, but I haven’t seen it since the first broadcast, so I’ve forgotten it.
I’ve always loved that!
Homer is looking for food under sofa cushion.
Homer: Ow, all I found was a twenty dollar bill, I wanted a peanut.
Homer’s brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how
Homer’s brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Homer: WOOHOO
Dont forgot the funniest part of the scene (at least I think it was the same scene). The part where Wiggum says “Yeah, Magic ticket my ass McBain!” Refering to the Shwartzenigarian suck-fest “Last Action Hero”.
Does anyone remember the scene with celebrity guest Mark Hamill fighting with one of Fat Tony’s henchman? “Screw you Hamill! You never even finished Jedi school!”
I can’t believe I forgot the one where Homer gets a gun. He walks in hiding it behind his back, and tells Marge to close her eyes. She does, he points it at her, and tells her to open her eyes. Camera angle changes to Marge’s view, straight down the barrel of a gun, and she screams!!
Other all time favourite scene is the one where Lisa has a crush on Nelson, and gets Millhouse to pass him a note for her. The note gets passed down to Nelson who reads it (“Guess who likes you”), and he looks up to see Millhouse waving at him. Cut to Millhouse being carried off on a stretcher 
The Australian episode was both funny and painful. You know it’s a good show when it totally destroys your country’s reputation with traditions that just don’t exist (the Boot!) and people speaking with the wrong accent, and yet you still laugh.
I’ve said too much…
Smither’s use the amnesia ray
YOu mean the revolver?
Yes.
and also
This monkey will need most of your skin.
Another one of my favs, though I forget which episode it’s from…
Ms. Krabople: So, any more quesitons?
Bart: Yes, how would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey tyoe creature?
Ms. Krabople: I’m sorry, that would be playing God.
Bart: God-smod, I want my monkey man!
Ned: Hi-dilly-ho neighrbourino
CHK CHK BOOM!
Bart & Lisa: Dad, you shot zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
Always loved the Trot McClure intros; my favourite? When Homer is in remedial driving school:
"Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You may remember me from such driver’s ed films as “Alice’s Adventures thru the Windshield Glass” and “The Decapitation of Leadfoot Larry”.
And lets not forget the episode where Homer is forced to become a missionary to escape the wrath of PBS:
Homer: “A missionary? But I don’t even believe in Jebus!”
moments later as he is dragged to the plane “Jebus, save me!”
Moe: Hello?
Bart:
Is there a Mr. Caholic there? First name Al?
Is there a Mr. Jass there? First name Hugh?
Is Amanda Huggenkiss there?
Is there a Mr. Clothesoff there? First name Oliver?
Is There a Mr. Strapp there? First name Jacques?
Approximately:
Counselor: Homer, sign these papers and you’re a shoo-in for college.
Homer: Hey! That dog’s got a ham!
(shot outside of window of Homer wrestling with dog for ham.)
Counselor crumples college application, throws it into trash.
The best line to get cut is
Krusty: We’ve had a lot of memorable sideshows in my day, but none more memorable than Sideshow Raheem
Clip of Krusty with novelty hammer: “I’m supposed to hit you with this mallet.”
Sideshow Raheem (Black Power Afro-American): “I wouldn’t.”
Krusty: “Right on” (gives weak peace sign).
Hi-diddly-arious.
Cordially,
Myron M. Meyer
The Man Who
How did this one slip from my mind…
Homer to Mr. Burns…
H: your messages from the day
H: You have 30 minutes to move your car, you have 10 minutes to move your car, your car has been moved, your car has been crushed into a cube… you have 30 minutes to move your cube.
Ring Ring
H: hello Mr. Burns Office
B: Is it about my cube?
From a recent episode, I love when Kentucky Fried Panda is destroyed and Homer laments that it was “Finger Ling-Ling Good.”
If someone mentioned it before, I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Not one episode had been able to outdo the hilarity brought about by the famous clown college episode.
Homer:
It’s the First of the month! New Billboard time!
“This year give her english Muffins” Aye Aye Mr Billboard!
“Best in the West” Heh heh heh. It rhymes!
“Clown College?” You can’t eat that…
And then when he’s sitting in work, dreaming, and the billboard bumps out the dream of him eating, with that awesome hilarious circus music, and then with Lenny telling him his section is on fire, and all he sees is Lenny as a dancing clown, and then all the guys on fire whom he also sees as dancing clowns, and then topped off by him building a mashed potato circus tent, in a scene taken from Close Encounters…
Well boys and girls, it doesn’t get much better than that…
- The one that breaks me up every time is the episode where Grandpa Simpson is courting Mrs. Bouvier (Marge’s mom) but she almost ends up marrying Mr. Burns instead. At the ceremony, Barney shows up and Homer hustles him over to the groom’s side of the church in an effort to fill it up.
When Barney sits down the only other guy there, sitting in front of him, is some Prussian in full dress uniform, including the pointy helmet. Barney yells “Down in front!” and the Prussian whirls around and shrieks, “NEIN!” Kills me every time.
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I can’t believe I haven’t seen it mentioned - I probably just missed it - but the one where Homer and Bart are lost in the woods, so Homer sets a snare trap to catch a rabbit, and it catapults the rabbit about five miles over the forest.
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"Ach! Who will save the wee turtles?
“SAVE ME FROM THE WEE TURTLES!”
“Wee Turtles” would be a great name for a rock band.
- In one episode Mrs. Krabopple is attempting to teach the children fractions; something transpires outside and they all run outside. She calls out “Fractions? Fractions, children?” and then just sits down, lights up a smoke, and says, “Oh well I tried.” My mom’s a teacher and that one cracks her up every time.
OK, this is my 3rd post on this subject…
Who can forget…
(From Cape Fear)
FBI Agent: OK Mr. Simpson, your new name will be Homer Thompson. So when I say, ‘Hi Mr. Thompson’ you say, ‘Hello’. You understand?
Homer: Gotcha.
FBI Agent: Now let’s practice… Hello Mr. Thompson.
Homer stares back blankly.
FBI Agent: Remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I got ya.
FBI Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson.
Homer stares back blankly.
an hour later…
FBI Agents are dead tired and frustrated…
FBI Agent: OK Mr. Simpson, when I say, ‘Hello Mr. Thomson’ and I tap your foot, you say ‘hello.’
Homer: Gotcha.
FBI Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson (he taps Homers foot)
Homer looks blankly down at his foot as it gets tapped. He turns to the other FBI agent in the room…
Homer: (Whispering) I think he’s talking to you.
Homer (to Bart): Son, people try and fail all the time. The secret is… never try.
Homer, driving through the parking lot in Flanders’s car after a football game…
Homer (yells out the car window to the world): This is Ned Flanders! My best friend!
Lenny and Carl walk by…
Lenny: What he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.
Lisa goes to the house of the lady who invented the Malibu Stacey doll. Lisa walks up to the gate and talks into the intercom…
Lisa: Are you the lady who invented Malibu Stacey?
Lady: (annoyed) Do you know how many little girls have come here trying to talk to me?
Lisa: Am I the first?
Lady, after a long pause (dejected): Yes.
More to come…
…because I own a dalmatian, but I love the scene in one episode where the firemen come to Bart’s school. In one part Bart is looking at a dalmatian. It goes something like this:
Bart: Cool! A dalmatian! Can he do any tricks?
Fireman: Are you kidding? He’s so inbred he can barely stand up. (Dog collapses onto the ground)
Not only is this hilarious, it brings to light a serious problem that the dalmatian breed is currently facing.