when Bart and Lisa go to Krusty summer camp and they discover all the mail that didn’t get delivered to the kids over the course of the summer.
some kid yells, “My insulin!”
My college roommate just e-mailed me to let me know that a coworker of his just completed his copy of seasons 1-11 onto CD-R. Bastard.
Thinking of favorite moments is so difficult. But, in doing so, I just realized how much of a Lenny and Carl fan I am. To wit:
Scene: Homer’s leaving the nuclear plant for some other job (I think the bowling alley). He rides out on a motorized cart, drumming on Burns’ head.
Lenny: Way to play the boss’s head like a bongo, Homer.
Carl: Hey, he’s getting some good sound out of that guy.
Scene: The nuclear reactor is rumbling because obese, shut-in Homer didn’t expel excess radioactive gas.
Carl: That thing’s going koo-koo-kah-kah.
Lenny: Who cares? That’s Homer’s job.
(Koo-koo-kah-kah. Bwahahah!)
Scene: Homer decides he no longer hates Flanders after Ned treats him to a great time at a football game. Before the game, Homer had made Flanders duck down in the car so Lenny and Carl didn’t see him with the geek, Flanders. After the game, Homer announces from the car that Flanders is his friend.
Lenny: What did he say?
Carl: I don’t know. Something about being gay.
One more line from Lenny. Marge has got legs from here to yah-yah.
I think it’s as much their voices and deliveries as the lines, but they kill me every time.
I don’t remember the episode, but the scene is Bart, Millhouse, Nelson, & I think Martin sitting around on the playground. Nelson is rambling on about huckleberry recipes. Skinner walks by and Nelson changes mid-sentence to talking about vandalism. When Skinner leaves he goes back to talking about huckleberries. It slays me every time I see it.
Plus, I’m with Clucky, Lenny and Karl are hilarious!
From a recent episode:
Fat Tony: I just found out we’ve got a squealer in our midst. We’ve narrowed it down to either Johnny Tightlips or Louie the Squealer.
“Johnny Tightlips is shot! Where’d they get ya, pal?”
“I ain’t talkin’.”
“But the ambulance will be here any minute.”
“Tell 'em to go suck a lemon.”
“Cram it, Updike.”
LOL, that’s from the episode where Homer’s mom comes back after hearing Homer is dead. Kneeslappers abound:
Marge: “Now Homer, when I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death, you said ‘NO’!”
Homer: “Damn you Walt Whitman! ‘Leaves of Grass’ MY ASS!”
And the scene where Joe Namath removes his helmet and his muttonchop sideburns wave majesticly in the breeze cracks me up as well. (Not to mention the following shot of the completely square headed Johnny Unitas. Grandpa: “Now there’s a haircut you can set your watch to!”)
Moe, explaining an industrial food fryer he’s acquired for a new restaurant: This thing can flash-fry a buffalo in 30 seconds.
Homer: Aww, but I want it now.
Same ep–Moe’s upset when a kid at his restaurant draws an unflattering picture showing him as stinky: Aww, with the squiggly lines and everything?
Homer, explaining the virtues of obesity to Marge: I’m famine- and drought-resistant.
He’s standing up, like a little Rory Calhoun.
– Burns, taking a liking to one of the puppies he plans to turn into clothing.
I will go back to the comic store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.
– a dejected Comic Book Guy.
I can’t remember what episode it’s from, But Homer is dressed as Krusty and they are in with Fat Tony and his crew. One of the mobsters busts in and sees Homer and Krusty standing next to each other and looking exactly alike, and rubs his eyes and says: “I’m seeing double! FOUR Krustys!” (this may not be exact…I haven’t seen that ep. in a while)
And Clucky, the Moe quote re: the child’s drawing of him is: “Aww geez, you got the stink lines and everything!” (I agree, thats some good stuff.)
The episode where Homer believes he’ll be dead in 24 hours because of poison fish. He tells Flanders he’ll provide huge steaks for Flanders’ bar-bq the next day.
H: The joke’s on him! I’ll be dead by then!
Also the aliens in a Halloween episode:
“Your superior intellects are no match for our puny weapons!”
Oh yeah, the episode where the kids are putting on a pageant about the presidents of th U.S. Bart starts acting up.
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or are you going to behave like a maniac?
This thread has just too many good moments! It’s hard to list all the great lines from The Simpsons, there are just too many. Here are a few that have been overlooked, but are absolute gems.
From the episode with the stone-cutters:
[Patrick Stewart]: He is the chosen one, remove the stone of shame (a large stone).
Homer: WOO HOO!
[Patrick Stewart]: Attach the stone of triumph (an incredibly larger stone).
The song is great too 
“Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star!!! We do, we do!”
The episode where Bart sells his soul to Milhouse is IMHO one of the best, surprised it hasn’t been mentioned much yet. “In the Garden of Eden” has me rolling every time I see it. The flash frier from the USS Missouri that can “fry a buffalo in 40 seconds,” Moe with the “stink lines and everything,” the Comic-Book store guy whose “breakfast burrito is rapidly congealing, so I will be blunt,” are all great lines.
Homer becoming morbidly obese for an at home work station has some great material that hasn’t been mentioned yet. Dr. Nick talking about the "neglected food groups, like the “Whipped” group, the “Congealed” group, and the “Chocotastic” are hilarious, not to mention the picture of the food pyramid with them. Bart rubbing the wall with a fish sandwich from Krusty-burger and a bird hitting the resulting transparent wall is great. Bart also had this one great line; “I find it ironic that for once Dad’s butt prevented the release…” whereupon Marge immediately interrupts. Hehehe
A few bits and pieces from other episodes I remember:
The edited scene from the tales of Springfield that’s not shown in syndication. Dr. Nick, to the hospital committee concerning his problems.
[Committee]: Improper use of cadavers…
[Dr. Nick]: Hey, I got to work 5 minutes faster in the carpool lane.
The show & tell day in Bart’s class in the episode where he becomes a little brother to Tom, the guy in the airforce. Bart is showing off something called a “brain deneuralizer.” With “property of the USAF” stencilled on the side, he demonstrates its use on Martin, whereupon Martin collapses twitching on the floor. “Any side effects?” Ms. K asks; [Bart]: “No, but I wouldn’t give him homework for a few days.” Hilarious.
The episode where Bart & Lisa are shipped to a foster home has the gem where Homer takes a baptizin’ for Bart. Flanders asks Homer how he feels; "I feel like [Insert biblical name] after his conversion by [another biblical name]. Flanders asks Homer, “What did you just say?!” Homer: I said, SHUT YOUR UGLY FACE, FLANDERS!
The episode where Springfield is taken in by the Movementarians has a couple of gems. When Marge has to escape the compound, there is a wonderful reference to The Prisoner, where a bubble engulfs Moleman, and the cheesy soundtrack is heard as Marge is running. HAH! Flanders offering the lawyers who break into his house a beer is great; “I pride myself on being a good host, so I have to offer you a beer, but I’m so angry it’ll be mostly head.”
These are all that I can think of for the moment that haven’t been mentioned already. Just an add-on to an already amusing thread…
Can’t remember the episode name or number but here are a couple of the lines from the show.
Homer: I can’t believe it, I danced with a GAY!
Homer: Where did you get that shirt?
Bart: Came outta the closet.
Homer: Has the whole world turned GAY!
Steelmill worker: Oh…be nice.
This episode had John Waters guest star.
I can’t remember the exact words, but in Clinton’s last broadcast speech, he said something very much like that: a lot of forwards-backwards-upwards-sidewards analogy, prompting me to say, “Twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom”.
I like a lot of the one mentioned.
Homer:
“Why Fat Tony, are you insinuating that the mafia only did me a favor to expect future favors from me? I am shocked and will bid you a good day!”
Chief Wiggum:
“Ralph, just what is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?”
Kang: Abortions for all!
Crowd: Booooo!
Kang: Ok. Abortions for no-one.
Crowd: Booooo!
Kang: Alright. Abortions for some. Little paper flags for others.
Crowd: Yaaaay!
If only Bush had such an inscisive understanding of the mind of the American populus.
"bart: mom these uniforms suck
marge: BART! where do you pick up language like that?
homer: yeah moe, that team sure did suck last night, they just plane sucked, I mean I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck
marge: homer!
homer: oops, gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening
bart and lisa: we are not wieners
homer: then why are you dressed that way
b&s: they made us
homer: ‘oh they made us’… that’s loser talk, you need to be more like me and my team, the future league champions of the world."
squeaky farms
and every time mayor “diamond joe” quimby talks… thank you mayor kennedy, I mean quimby
There’s one where Homer has been eating chili (I think) from a huge bowl to the point where he’s made himself sick and says as he puts it back in the fridge, “Ooooh. I’ll never eat chili again.” Two seconds later he opens the fridge back up, sees the bowl of chili and exclaims, “Oooh. Chili!”
There are so many great moments one hardly knows where to start. How about the episode where the Olympics come to Springfeild. This episode has some GREAT parts.
Homer has all the extra springs so he makes Spring jokes out of them. And he gives it to Moe and the spring gets stuck in Moe’s eyes, and then he does it to Lenny, and Lenny gets the spring stuck in his eyes, and then the two walk into eachother and their springs get stuck together. HAHAHAHAHA!
Also, when Bart frees the old people in the Home and they have there weird little sixties time in the park. THat was great.
Also the kids song for the Olympic committee.
“Children! Children! Future! Future!”
That was just way to great. Probably one of my all time favortie episodes ever.
A scene that makes me laugh is from the episode “Trash of the Titans” (where Homer becomes the leader of the garbage committee). Homer has gotten into an argument with the garbage people and their service has been cut off. Garbage is piled up on their lawn. Ned Flanders goes to Homer’s door to complain and of course Homer makes excuses and Ned says, “Alright.”
Homer: You better close your window before the sun hits Diaper Hill. (camera pans to Diaper Hill)
Rod (on Diaper Hill): Look daddy! I’m the King of the Mountain!
Ned: ROD! GET DOWN FROM THERE!
Ned’s desperate yell at Rod is hilarious.
The kids are one the school bus, talking to or being teased by Nelson. Suddenly, Nelson’s little brother pops out from behind him and says,
“I sleep in a drawer!”
Kills me.
From the summer camp episode.
“Gentlemen, to evil.”
Also, after the children take over the camp a pig’s head on a stick appears in the background at one point.