You find out that your SO has been looking at porn online.
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Hell, sometimes it’s hard to not look at porn online. Hell, some nights I’m probably too drunk to Get It Up, but if that’s the case then I’d also be too drunk to remember. All in all, no big deal.
[QUOTE=Litoris]
2) You find out that your SO received a naughty picture from someone with whom they chat online.
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This would be… weird. if she didn’t ask for the pics… then let the guy rot in Hel (single ‘L’ by design).
If I think she asked for it… big problem. it’s not the same as looking at porn, because porn is fantasy. Porn won’t happen, no matter how many nights I’ve been too drunk to get it up, but this is a real person… then she isn’t satisfied with me, so we have a Big Problem and we Need To Talk.(Caps by design).
[QUOTE=Litoris]
3) You find out your SO has shown some of their friends naughty pictures of you that you took for them.
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I may be nothing but a nordic-germanic-yankee-irishman, but I’m a damn sexy nordic-germanic-yankee-irishman. In fact, I may be self-centered enough to say that I’m hottest man alive. I can’t balme her for sharing the wealth.*
[QUOTE=Litoris]
4) Your SO suggests putting naked pictures of you online.
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Same response as #3.
*True resonse: I’ve got nothing to hide under my clothes. if a stranger see it my response would be something like ‘Eh, whatever.’ Embarressment was never my strong suit.
Edit: in asnwer to the OP: 2 would be the worst, with 1, 3 & 4 being tied for a ‘meh’.
1 and 2 wouldn’t bother me per se, there are associated things that could. 4 would require me a while to recover from the shock, then be followed by a “uh, I’d rather not” (which is my polite way of saying “not even over my dead body, bubba”) “what gave you the idea?”
[QUOTE=An Arky]
1 is no big deal, 2 & 3 are breaches of trust unless otherwise sanctioned. 4, well, I don’t think there’s any harm in asking, necessarily.
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My take exactly. I sometimes look at porn with my SO. I don’t care if he does it on his own time (I totally understand the necessity for “cleaning out the pipes” or even just enjoying a little fantasy). 2 & 3 would definitely be worst - I can’t decide which one I would find more heinous, but probably 3, as long as my SO didn’t solicit the photo referenced in 2.
And I agree - there’s no harm in asking for 4 (not gonna happen, but I don’t mind being asked).
More than anything, I’m curious as to which of these has recently happened to you!
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Funny thing about hypothetical situations…
I just wanted to see how closely my views might match others’. For me, the most offensive of the lot is #3. It would make me feel like my SO saw me as a possession. “Look at what I have at home” kind of thought process.
I don’t really care if my SO looks at porn, so long as it is not kiddie porn or the “barely legal” variety – that would piss me off (for obvious reasons). As far as #2, unless I had reason to believe that there was more going on than an exchange of phots, I don’t think it would bother me – hence my follow-up question here – to me naughty pictures are naughty pictures, whether “porn” or from someone you know. And #4? Heh…I’d be flattered but feel the need to remind my SO that naughty pictures of me on the web would generate more random guys thinking they had a chance with me. I think that would end that pretty quickly!
I’d have to go with Doc from a hypothetically female point of view. From the male side, the only thing that would rate discussion would be item 2. ie. Did she ask for it to be sent and/or what was being talked about that would make him think that it would be acceptable to do. Most likely conclusion of that conversation would be my request that she break off contact with that person.
Unless the other person was also female which would lead to an entirely different conversation…
You find out that your SO has been looking at porn online.
*I couldn’t care less. Well, I’d probably care if they got a bunch of viruses/spyware on my computer from doing so, but only because of the hassle. *
You find out that your SO received a naughty picture from someone with whom they chat online. If they solicited the picture, I’d be a bit upset. Why would they want that? But if it was unsolicited? I wouldn’t care.
You find out your SO has shown some of their friends naughty pictures of you that you took for them. I’d be furiously angry and probably feel a bit violated.
Your SO suggests putting naked pictures of you online. I’d laugh myself silly. Who wants to see my 40 year old body? I’d say no, but the thought is incredibly funny!
Not only wouldn’t be mad, I’d be happy to have found a hobby we both enjoy.
Not mad, although there would be questions. She’s been hit on by guys she knows and I’ve received nude photos from ex-girlfriends. In both cases, we weren’t mad at each other since a) we hadn’t requested the attention in question, and b) we didn’t try to hide it from each other.
Mad. Not because I’m upset about her friends seeing me nude, but because of the basic rule of the Internet: once online, it’s available to anyone, anywhere, permanently. If she wants to show me off to her friends, they’ll have to come and see in person.
I’d say no, but I certainly wouldn’t be mad.
So to rank them from most to least upset: 3, 2, 4 and 1, with 2 being way below 3, and 4 and 1 not even registering.
Number one doesn’t even merit a raised eyebrow. Number four gets a simple, “Um, no.”, and number two makes me ask why, but I’d probably be willing to take the answer at face value.
Number three is a dealbreaker. That relationship is over, and he should consider himself lucky to escape it with his life. He **won’t ** escape it with any of his electronic devices intact.
Number three really seems to get a lot of attention.
For me, well, I was a photographer’s model years ago, and it’s safe to say that there are lots of nude photos of me out there somewhere. Not porny, but nude. I suppose there is a chance they will hit the internet someday, but at least they were taken back when I was younger and skinnier!
It just doesn’t bother me. Even now, my husband thinks I look great, so that’s all that matters. But I really don’t think he’d post shots of me, or even ask- I am all his!
You find out that your SO has been looking at porn online.
He already does - it wouldn’t even bother me.
You find out that your SO received a naughty picture from someone with whom they chat online.
I’d wonder why, but it wouldn’t really bother me. If I hadn’t already noticed that he was, say, spending a lot of time online or something, I really wouldn’t care. *
You find out your SO has shown some of their friends naughty pictures of you that you took for them.
*Well this would shock the hell out of me but more because he is NOT that type at all. He doesn’t have an exhibitionist bone in his body, not even when it comes to me. This is the only thing that would bother me, though - without my permission would be a little skeevy. *
Your SO suggests putting naked pictures of you online.
Same as above. But I’d be pleased that he relaxed some of his stringent ideas, probably. Not that I’d ask him to change those ideas but if he came to it on his own…
Re (1) - As far as I know my SO doesn’t look at porn on line, but I sure wouldn’t mind if he did … sometimes I find it a little odd that he doesn’t, actually. If I stumbled on the fact that he was (as opposed to having him matter-of-factly let me know), I guess my two responses would be:
a) Did you find anything interesting? If yes, I wanna see it too.
b) I hope you didn’t think you had to hide this from me – surely you know me well enough to realize that keeping this activity secret is completely unnecessary.
Primarily, though, if it was solicited. That would imply the need for a discussion.
3, well, assuming that it was transmitted privately (and presuming such a picture existed in the first place), then I wouldn’t be tooo bugged, sort of flattered, but sort of sketched about not being asked.
#4, well, not sure I’d have the metaphorical balls to put myself out there, but again I’d probably be flattered if asked.
[QUOTE=Litoris]
Of the following hypothetical scenarios, which would be more offensive to you and why.
You find out that your SO has been looking at porn online. We’ve often done this together.
You find out that your SO received a naughty picture from someone with whom they chat online. Depends on who it is and why she has it. Was it because the guy had some curiosity-invoking piercing or because she wants to have sex with him? Does she know the guy or is it basically just internet porn?
You find out your SO has shown some of their friends naughty pictures of you that you took for them. “Shown” or “gave to”? A once-over is no big deal. A keeper is…well, it’s actually exciting to me. But I wouldn’t give her shot to someone else.
Your SO suggests putting naked pictures of you online.
[/QUOTE] Hell no. I can’t do that and still want to be president. As for the suggestion, I’ll take it as a compliment.
You find out your SO has shown some of their friends naughty pictures of you that you took for them. — This is bad.
You find out that your SO received a naughty picture from someone with whom they chat online. — Not patently bad because your SO doesn’t really have control over what they get, but I’d be wondering what the hell they were talking about that the other person thought sending a naughty picture would be cool.
Your SO suggests putting naked pictures of you online. — Meh.
You find out that your SO has been looking at porn online. — Double meh.
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What he said.
However, number 2 isn’t so bad. I know lots of girls that randomly send pooter shots to guys (not sure why, exactly), apropos of nothing. Can’t get mad at a guy for receiving some girl’s pooter shot. If he chooses to keep the pic in a special folder for such things, that’s not so good.
