What with all the parties this time of year I was wondering about the horid appetizers y’all have seen. I never cease to be amazed at what some people call food. If I bring a dish I usually try to put some thought and work into it. Aside from those who take the time to buy a bag of chips and tub of dip two of my all time faves are
A piece of Velveeta melted onto a Triscuit. I like to call these White Trash Nachos
Pimento cheese tea sandwiches. You know crusts trimmed off and cut into festive shapes.
What’s wrong with a traditional Irish seven-course meal? Six shots of whiskey and a potato. Or, for the light eaters, you can try the supermodel seven-course meal - six ounces of water and a diet pill. rimshot
Hey! I thought this was going to be a thread in praise of white trash appetizers. I love crap food and I admit it, and “festive occasions” are the rare times I let myself have it anymore. So dang it, pass the onion-soup-and-sour-cream dip, and the little smokies! Pop open a Bud Lite and wallow it in, baby!
My favorite white trash appetizer is nacho dip: Take a can of Nalley’s Extra Hot Chile (with meat and beans) and a jar of Cheez Whiz. Throw 'em in a bowl together and microwave the snot out of 'em. Stir and serve with tortilla chips. It’s a bowlful of indigestion, but mmmmmm.
I admit a weakness for a crockpot full of Little Smokies smothered in barbecue sauce. I also love Rotel dip (two cans of Rotel spicy tomatoes and a brick of melted Velveeta, with a little milk mixed in). Food of the gods, and the gods wear sombreros.
I love pimiento cheese sandwiches, too. And this stuff is not that Kraft cream cheese with pimientos. It’s shredded cheddar, pimientos, and probably some cream cheese and other stuff… more substantial than the spread you get in most parts of the country, but I’ve only seen it in the south and midwest.
As for real white trash appetizers, I also like the mini bagel dogs. Take the little smokies, and wrap them in strips of pillsbury pop-n-fresh croissant dough, and then bake on a cookie sheet until cooked, about 20 minutes. Serve with mustard for dipping.
For fourty years my aunt Ruth always brought the same thing to every family/church/picnic potluck event: Hot dogs, partially slit down the middle and a little spear of cheese added, then wrapped in Pilsbury biscuit dough and baked. Cut into bite-sized pieces and skewered with a toothpick. TRES CLASSY!!.
I have seen family photos from the 60’s with an untouched platter of said delectables clearly visible in the background. It’s like an unspoken member of the family – the unwanted Uncle at the picnic.
Funny thing. Aunt Ruth died a few years ago, and while clearing up her affairs we stumbled upon her recipe box and there it was. A recipe card featuring “Frank’n’Wraps” printed by the Electric Company (complete with Red-E-Kilowatt in a chef’s hat) because you don’t wanna’ take chances with a dish like that …