Miracle Whip-based dip.
Bologna Pie and a wedge of lemon in an Old Milwaukee. I just love it when Lsura and lieu entertain! 
And don’t dis the little pimento cheese sammiches. I loves me some of those.
This is a little recipe I’ve never done but have threatened to do. It’s called “Vienna Sausage Sweet and Sour Rollups”
White bread (light bread as we say in the southern USA) with the crust cut off cause it’s fancy.
Vienna sausages
Mustard
Grape jelly
Cut the crust off the slices of white bread and cut each slice in half. On each piece of bread spread a layer of grape jelly and a layer of mustard. Place a vienna sausage on each piece and roll em up. Use those toothpicks with the mulitcolored cellophane to hold the rollups in place because, again, this is fancy.
Now, don’t that sound like some good eatin?
scott evil you said it! Miracle Whip is the food of Satan!
Jello salad, made with canned fruit, Cool-Whip, coconut and marshmellows.
If you really want white track slack appetizers, take any processed meat product, cut it into bite sized pieces and stick a toothpick in it.
For some reason that toothpick adds a special touch of class.
The redneck 7 course meal: a six pack and a booger.
I once had “Burgers Cordon Bleu” – a hamburger formed around some Velveeta and a small piece of bologna, and grilled.
You can count me aboard the L’il Smokie’s train. We always had them in a sauce made of brown sugar, ketchup and vinegar.
grape jelly and beer sounds very intriguing
Lsura said,
Now, now…you just haven’t been turned on to the deluxe version of this treat. I will now share:
1 can Pillsbury Crescent rolls
1 Jar yellow mustart
1 Jar currant jelly
1 pkg Lil Smokies
Cut the crescent rolls in half so you get two equal triangles. Wrap a Lil Smokie in the dough, large end to small end. Bake at recommend temp and time.
In the meantime, heat equal parts mustard and currant jelly. Stick toothpicks in the lil smokies and dip them into the concoction. Pure culinary perfection!!
Heh. And for the REAL slackers among us (myself included), just put a box of toothpicks next to the sliced-up-Yard-O-Beef ™.
And I swear to Og, when I saw this thread title, my first thought was, “Eeeeew, they’d be too high in fat to make decent appetizers from! Do you see the stuff some of 'em EAT, fer pete’s sake?”
Something I found out last year The Hard Way: Don’t let ANYONE lie to you and tell you those Little Smokies In BBQ Sauce are Vienna Sausages. VS are disgusting and look like Pickled Pig’s Schwanz. LSIBS are extremely tasty and should probably be illegal due to their addictive properties.
That is revolting. Mustard and grape jelly? That definitely belongs in the Gallery of Regrettable Food.
The other day, I ate a bunch of vanilla wafers and OJ. It was yummy at the time, but I woke up hours later wanting to vomit. Someone should work this idea into an appetizer.
Oh, yeah… Guin reminded me of something that ladybug taught me.
Now realize, my fiancee is as opposite from white trash as you can get and still be caucasian. She’s a total foodie, and refuses to make tuna salad if we’re out of capers. Her traditional Christmas Eve spread includes champagne and caviar with all the trimmings (toast points, eggs, onion, lemon, etc)… she’s not high maintenance or snooty, she just has refined tastes.
But she also loves her some chili-queso dip.
CHILI QUESO DIP
1/2 brick Velveeta, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 can Hormel Chili No Beans (Hot)
Cayenne Pepper to taste
In a crock pot, melt cubed velveeta with chili added, on high. Stir occasionally. Add chili pepper. When melted, transfer to serving bowl.
Serve with fresh tortilla chips. This is absolutely delicious, just like the chili queso skillet you get at Chili’s…
She tried using real cheddar cheese to make this, but it never comes out right unless you use Velveeta. Real cheese is just too classy for this dish.
bughunter: You’re right, that’s a great recipe. Cheddar is too oily for it – add that to chili and you’d have a greasy mess. Velveeta is a truly magical substance.
I make the same. I make plain and hot… hot sausage and then add some crushed red pepper and maybe pour in some juice from a jar a jalapeno peppers. They freeze well so I make a ton then freeze in zip-lock bags. For me it is like survival food during busy times at work. I don’t have to worry about making lunch for the day, just grab a bag of Complete Nutrition ™ and I’m off!
My mom makes this appetizer she thinks is really fancy, but it’s a brick of cream cheese with bits of that dried beef you use for cream chipped beef on toast. Then she opens up a can of crescent rolls, spreads the mixture inside, rolls it up, slices it jelly roll style and cooks it.
That beef smells like dried vomit out of the package, but shit, those things are good!
Layers, people! Fancy stuff needs layering, sheesh.
Spread cream cheese on cookie sheet, dump Hormel chili on top, cover with shredded Velveeta and bake at 350 until gooey and bubbly. Then serve it in the pan next to an opened bag of Frito’s.
I’ve never seen bologna and pickle spears, but have often seen green onions placed in a cream cheesed slice of cheap deli ham, rolled and sliced.
I’m so proud to say I recognized nearly every other dish listed so far.
For the love of God, tell me that you just made this up in your head.
Not unless I was very drunk at the party last weekend - and I was driving, so I drank nothing at all.
Holy sh#%.
I can’t fathom how a person could even conceive of such a concoction, let alone eat it.
Oh, my word. I am so conflicted right now.
Over the years I have come to relish fine foods.
I adore foie gras. Caviar. Champagne. Succulent duck. Buffalo carpaccio. Fatty tuna sashimi. Grouper with a sundried-tomato, cabernet reduction. Creme brulee. Crispy quail. Escargot fed on basil.
I have eaten at some fine restaurants.
I have spent $100 for a single meal. (And yes, it was well worth it however I’ve only done it once-I’m not made of money after all.)
But…
I really like those cocktail meatballs doused with a mixture of grape jelly and bottled chili sauce.
And those wieners split down the middle, stuffed with cheese, and wrapped with crescent rolls are really quite tasty.
What’s a person to do?
Now I’ve never heard of this particular phenomenon, but where I come from, Oreos heated in the microwave are quite a delicacy 
For great recipes, you need to go to the source.
These gems come from the Saturday Evening Post, 1950.
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Mix Snider’s catsup with grated American cheese, a dash of grated onion, paprika and salt for a tangy spread great with saltines!
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Cook a little chopped green pepper in a pan, add canned baked beans mixed with Snider’s catsup, serve on toast topped with bacon slices.