My mom used to make this nasty stuff she called “Cheesy Bread.” I think it is an actual recipe that she got from a friend. Here’s how you make it:
Take one loaf of french bread and cut it in half, sandwich style.
In a bowl, mix a brick of cream cheese and a small container of sour cream. Add a bag of shredded cheddar cheese. Melt the mixture in the microwave.
Spread, slop or layer the mixture onto both halves of the bread.
Bake until the bread is toasty and the cheese “stuff” is runny.
Put the halves back together and slice like a submarine sandwich. Serve while still warm, but not until it has cooled enough for the contents to congeal.
I like all of the components, but somehow the concoction is just ICK. Other people seemed to like it, though.
Did ya ever have onion sammiches? Thinly sliced onion on white bread spread with mayo. Broil until the mayo is slightly browned and bubbly. I can devour a loaf of bread this way. Actually, I HAVE.
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An old roommate used to bust up ramen bricks on a baking sheet, drizzle them with melted margarine, sprinkle with seasoned salt, and bake. I never really understood this – after all, they couldn’t get much more CRUNCHY, right? He said it had to do with “forming spice bonds”.
On to the entree: Same guy would heat up some canned noodles (zoodles, chef-barf-ar-dee, whatever), toast two slices of bread, put one slice on a plate, pour half the heated noodles over the toast, place the second slice on the first, and pour the other half over it all. Eat with a knife and fork. He actually called this “white trash sandwich”.
In HS I had a friend who would spread cheap creamy PB on wonderbread, sprinkle table sugar on it, cut off the crusts, and roll it up into long fingers. He would make up about 4 of these and eat them with a fork.
Mmmmmmmmm, jello salad. My mom makes apple salad for family getogethers: sliced apples, little marshmallows, stirred up with Miracle Whip. She also makes something I call Pink Stuff: strawberry jello mixed with Cool Whip and bits of strawberries throughout. Tasty.
An ex introduced me to this little WT concoction: Ritz cracker, spread on cream cheese, top with cheap caviar. For a spicy version, replace the caviar with a slice of jalapeno. Those were my favorite snacks for a while.
Oh, and another favorite desert mom used to make: three scoops of cottage cheese in a cereal bowl, layer a leaf of lettuce over it, then a pear half in heavy syrup from a can. A favorite when I was young.
This last one I made up myself when I was in the Army: thick slice of cheese from a brick of sharp cheddar and dipped in honey mustard. Very tasty indeed, especially when on an acid trip.
I was at a wedding reception at a VERY ritzy country club not too long ago. Valet parking, string quartet, black tie only, the works. One of the most popular appetizers circulating that night sounds like the dish you described, except theirs were cut into triangles.
Another dish I remember is cream cheese spread out on a cookie sheet. Top with cocktail sauce, then small shrimp or canned shredded clams. Doesn’t look too good, but after a few drinks, it becomes addictive!
I have waited years for a thread like this to debut. My version of…
White Trash Tiramisu
1 box of twinkies
1 cup of prepared International Coffee, your fave flavor
1 tub of Cool Whip
2 tablespoons of Chocolate Quik
Arrange the bottom of a baking dish (dont worry there is no baking) with all the twinkies then carefully soak them with the international foods coffee. Drain remaining liquid. Whip the Cool Whip so it is soft and airy and spread allover the soaked twinkies.
Powder the dish with the Chocolate Quik and Voila- instantly tres’ classy dessert!
cheap PB? As opposed to expensive peanut putter? I was under the impression that all peanut butter fell into the same price range. Is there a secret storehouse of better, more expensive peanut butter in your area that the rest of us are banned from? Have you been holding out on us??? Or are you just a peanut butter snob?
It is with great reluctance that I divulge the secret to my immense popularity at tailgate parties. Here goes:
MoosePoops aka Hanky Panks
1# ground beef
1# Bob Evans Original or Hot Sausage
1# Mild Mexican Velveeta
1 1/2 pkgs Party Rye (those itty bitty loaves of bread)
In a 12 in. or larger skillet, brown the ground beef and sausage together over low to medium heat, crumbling both together as you cook. Drain well. Return to heat and add the velveeta (chopped up for quicker melting) and stir until it’s completely melted. Spoon a tablespoon or two of the mixture onto the party rye and repeat until the mixture runs out. Bake at 350 for ~15 minutes. Serve hot and watch them fly off the plate.
They’ll be snappier if you use hot sausage, of course. Don’t be a pussy and use regular velveeta.
I guarantee you will be the recipient of many toasts in your honor for your most awesome white trash appetizers.
How about just go to the cheapo discount buy by the ton supermarket and get all the off brand stale munchies they have on sale? Be sure to pick up a case of tummy-yummy soda (or whatever is the cheapest) and a case of beer that no one has ever heard of (look, you even have to use a can opener, good stuff). Don’t forget a couple bottles of good wine, get the stuff with the twist off caps so we can save what’s left over for New Years Eve.
Cruise the used book stores and look for 1950’s and 60’s cookbooks. I have two, in particular, that are goldmines for this kind of appetizer. One is an old edition of The Joy of Cooking. It even includes some recipes for frozen whale meat. The other is an early-60’s Betty Crocker Cookbook. That one has some absolutely priceless recipes for one-dish meals. But, a more concrete example for this thread would be the minature “shish-kabob” appetizers I used to see at parties:
Impale on a toothpick (or one of those miniature plastic swords if you are really sophisticated)
1 pimiento-stuffed green olive
1 cube of processed cheese food product
1 cube of Spam
1 miniature sweet gerkhin pickle.
You can really fancy these up by using white processed cheese food product on some and orange processed cheese food product on others. Make some with black olives. The Spam is de rigeur, though. Some people served these with a Miracle Whip based dip, but I think they are more than capable of standing on their own.
That recipe actually comes from Peg Braken’s “Appendix to the I Hate to Cook Book.” I love her books and recipes, which are easy and often cheap. But that’s one I just cannot bring myself to try. I’m no great fan of peanut butter or ketchup.
She writes: The resulting flavor is good and hard to analyse.
Oh, yeah, I mean 99 cent off-brand stuff, 50% reprocessed lard…
And damn betcha there’s good stuff, just like everything else: “choice imported south american nuts, finest French Riviera sea salt, and spring water…” Not that I use this myself, you understand.
1 lb. sliced bacon
1 lb. little smokies
1 lb. brown sugar
45 or 50 toothpicks, removed from container since your fingers are going to get greasy
9 x 13 inch pan (spray with nonstick cooking spray)
Cut pound of bacon into thirds. You’ll have a bunch of stumpy bacon strips. The original recipe said quarters, but it’s a lot harder to roll them and you end up with extra. Thirds and you should end up pretty much even.
Wrap each little smoky in a stumpy bacon strip and secure with toothpick. Try to keep the toothpicks upright as you place in pan. Otherwise, the toothpicks lock together and getting them out of the pan becomes a royal pain.
Dump half the brown sugar in a bowl and sift it lightly with your fingers so it’s nice and fluffy. Grab handfuls and toss it over the little fat bombs. You want them to be well covered, yet still be able to see the general shape of the little smokies underneath. It may take more brown sugar to get a nice unhealthy coating.
Place pan in 350 degree oven (moderate heat) for 45 minutes to one hour. The sugar should be melted and the bacon and smokies nicely browned. Remove to platter and consume.
Alternately dump the whole mess in a crockpot on low with a quarter cup of water or so and keep warm til eaten. You will lose the delicious crustiness of the fresh from the oven smokies, but they still taste yummy.
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