I like to know who to look out for funny posts.
The cool Dopers are the ones secretly smoking behind the back of the message board.
Sssshhh, quit blabbin’ about the secret forum!
Just you, man, you’re too cool for school…
If you have to ask, it ain’t you.
Gee, I … don’t know …
[slowly lowers hand]
[hopes the cooler kids didn’t notice how fast it shot up]
Cool? COOL? COOL?! I’LL TEAR OUT YOUR THROAT AND RIP YOUR-
Ah-hem. Why would you think that cool people are the ones to watch? Maniacs, nut-jobs, whackos, and avatars of chaos are the ones you want to watch. If you don’t watch… ah… them how do you know that one us, I MEAN THEM isn’t right behind you with a stabby thing? Or a smashy thing?
I expected a more pedantic explanation of the word “cool” that didn’t actually have anything to do with social graces.
You people are letting me down.
I believe we have some Alaskan dopers don’t we? <snort>
I’m assuming your use of “cool” is relative?
I’m cool
scene
Late night in the alley in the back of the Straight Dope offices; steam from the sewer vents plays with the long shadows
Lines
zoid: I’d tell you kid but I’m just too distant and uninterested to bother.
I’m like that, a lone wolf. Don’t try to get close, I’ll only hurt you
direction
zoid drops cigatette in the ground, crushes it with his boot and walks slowly and sulkily away, head down and turmed to the side and disappears into the night
The cool kids are the ones who are too cool to post in this thread.
…damnit.
And some folks who live in the Southern Hemisphere.
C. K. Dexter Haven took a vacation in Antarctica once, and sent me pics of himself amidst frolicking penguins. On ice. I imagine that this was pretty cool.
My daughter’s job asked her if she’d consider working in Antarctica for six months. She refused, on the grounds that her kittycats would not survive six months without her. Yes, they have her well trained. 
Diamonds02 seems pretty on the ball.
You say this as if you would be invited to the cool kids club…
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Is it me?
Get yer’ hand off’ve yer’ crotch Guano, it ain’t you.
It’s me, of course.
Not me!
Not if you’re talking about my relatives.