Who wants to be a cool kid?

Welcome Dopers.

Walk through my door and become a cool kid instantly!
(only catch - I need the reason you think you’re cool)

Here’s mine: I can rollerskate so I’m cool!

I am a bilingual illiterate. I can’t read in two languages. Therefore I’m cool.

No! Wait. That makes me Joss Ackland*.

I taught the college I attended how to convert from decimal to hexidecimal without using binary as an intermediary, therefore I am cool. (Granted, this says less good about me and more unflattering things about my college, but still…)

  • It is a line he used in the Pet Shop Boys video for Heart.

I’m the coolest cool you can be cause I am one of the jake MMP cool kids. So There! :stuck_out_tongue:

I can rollerskate, too.

If that doesn’t count, how about this: I’m an EMT and can drive emergency response vehicles. Really fast, with the cool lights and siren going. That should make me cool. Plus, I can make your boo-boos all better. :cool:

Exactly!

We’re so cool, we don’t have to justify the cool. It’s just…there.

I have 8 cats who have their own heated/air conditioned suite with carpeted shelves around the walls and a real cedar tree to climb on, with Mommy’s office right there so they can help her type.

My cats think I’m cool.

I’m a librarian, which automatically makes me cool. Especially since I have long hair and wear glasses. (Or else that makes me a total geek, but that’s cool too, right?)

All right, I’ll take this. I am a bilingual literate! I can read, write, and speak two languages fluently.

But that’s not why I’m cool. I’m cool because I can dance and shake my booty to almost any music.

I’m not cool. I’m hot. Really hot. :cool:

:smiley:

I’m cool 'cause I have Old Navy flip-flops in seven different colors. [/sixth-grade logic]

I’m cool because…

because…

oh.

:crying:

There, there, Inigo. Poor li’l fella, don’t be sad.

:kiss:

Feel better now?

I’m so cool, I don’t need to walk through your door.

I mean, I will. I’m just sayin’, I don’t need to. 'Cause I’m cool.

Well, a little. But the only thing about me is that I’ve got a tongue that’s 10 inches long and I’ve learned to breathe through my ears. Who would think that was cool?

Isn’t part of the definition of “cool” being totally unconcerned about whether or not you’re cool?

Well that’s me. I don’t care one way or the other.

But then that means I think I’m cool. Which means I’m concerned about it. Which means I’m not cool.

Aw jeez.

I’m cool because I don’t require air conditioning until the thermometer is into the 90s. :cool:

Inigo you’re cool by association because of your name.

My mom says I’m cool. :smiley:

Well, she’d just about have to, wouldn’t she? Isn’t in her job description?
I’m so uncool that I’m pretty cool. Doing anything well, including being uncool, is cool. :cool: *

*I’m also the first one to use the cool smilie in this thread which is pretty cool.

Um…
Never mind. Of course you are, dearie.