See subject and poll; what have you seen gay couples do (or done yourself, if you’re gay and married/engaged?)
I don’t know any gay couple weddings, but I’d say that it depends on whether they have the same circle of friends. If they don’t then, they should get separate parties with their respective friends. The two wedders don’t get to decide if it’s a bachelor or a bachelorette party: that’s for their friends who are running it to decide 
I had never considered the issue before. But upon a few moments of reflection, I voted there should be separate parties for each person. It shouldn’t be a joint party. The point of a bachelor/bachelorette party is to treat the engaged person as if they were single not half of a couple. If the two of them go to the party as a couple then it’s just a regular party.
The pitcher.
What, no “other” option? My answer would be, “Whoever wants one.”
ninja’d: Whoever wants one.
Most Gay guys (like myself) have spent their entire lives going out to, ahem, “bachelor” parties every weekend in the bars. Not exactly sure what the point would be - other than go get drunk with the same guys you have probably been hanging around with for the past few years anyway. And chances are quite good that both guys getting married would know and hang out with the same crowd anyway.
So I guess a Gay Bachelor Party could also be called another Friday night at the bar?
M3 T00.
If only one partner wants one, he/she gets it. If both partners want separate parties, they get it. If they want a party together, they get it.
I never had a bachelorette party and didn’t want one. My husband had a bachelor party and didn’t really want one…
Well, duh. My OP might not have been 100% clear, but I was asking about who does/has/tends to want one, not who SHOULD want one.
See gay marriage is messing with our sacred traditions. This must be stopped!
If its two bachelor parties, just make sure you don’t end up at the same bath house. That would be awkward.
I have a friend who got married this summer [to another woman] and she had a bachelor party, thrown by her brother. I do not know if the wife had one too.
Are bachelor parties really a thing in straight weddings? I only know of them from popular culture, and have never known a groom who had one, including myself.
Voted “joint” party, but upon reflection, agree with Nemo. LOL when I saw this on the main page. (it’s the type of thread I’d start)
My wife and myself didn’t have bachelor/ette parties, but her best friend had a bachelorette party the other night, and two weeks ago was the bachelor party for the hubby to be. So yes, they are a thing.
Though perhaps they shouldn’t be, since the friend’s fiancee is no longer speaking to his brother over some fight that broke out that night.
And duh, my answer still applies. Gay couples are made up of individuals just like hetero couples are. Some of them want bachelor(ette) parties, some of them don’t. Why would you expect gay couples to be different?
No, but I’d expect patterns and trends to emerge–though admittedly, such trends and patterns would likely be different for different regions and cultures, and get lost in a one-size-fits-all poll like the one above.
My wife and I both had bachelor/ette parties, and we were married in 2007. My wife had dinner/drinks with a group of friends at a bar, then went to a swanky hotel bar across the street for drinks. I went to Vegas with some friends for some very low-key gambling/drinking. There may have been a trip to an adult establishment in there, but it was mellow. Only half the guys who went drank, and only a few gambled, so there was a lot of pool time and buffets involved.
Neither of us had anything resembling a bachelor party.
Simple—the ‘butch’ partner gets a bachelor party, the ‘fem’ partner gets a bachelorette party
I agree with DMark. For a lot of gay guys (even a fairly laid back and boring one like me), a bachelor party would be ridiculous on the face of it. It’d be just like any other night out, with probably the same level of debauchery.