I’ve dated some losers before, but one guy stands out specifically. I still can’t believe we lasted for about a month before I called it quits. This guy was in serious need of help. He was 24 and he still lived at home with his mother. That would have been fine if he had been going to school, or lost his job and needed to get back on his feet or something, but he wasn’t. His highest education was high school and he had never had a job in his life before. He relied on mommy for all his expenses, going to her whenever he needed money to go out on dates. It kind of creeped me out that his mother was funding our time together. :dubious: He had no desire to move on with his life, and I think he depended on his parents to pay his way for the rest of his life. That, combined with the fact that he had no friends and I was the only person who he could consider a social life, I called it quits. I still wonder why the hell I gave him a month before calling it quits. I think I was in a part of my life where I wanted to be there for someone, but I think I overdid it. For a while afterwards, he kept calling me, but by that time, he was too pathetic to even be a friend to. It’s a shame because I think he really needed a friend, but I wasn’t willing to be his psychologist.
How did you hook up, then?
I just recently stumbled across an ex’s MySpace account, and my gosh, has she become a piece of trash. She has a ten-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, but despite this, still manages to go out and get drunk every night. She parties with people 11 years younger than her. And apparently, she totalled her car (one that her parents gave her) last summer while driving drunk. She was arrested, but yet continues to drink every night, and sometimes drive home. I also heard from her friend a while back that she was dating a coke dealer, who beat the crap out of her and wiped out her savings and stole her TV, but yet she stayed loyal to him because of the coke. The two of them recently broke up, and now she spreads her legs for strangers she meets at bars. She was on the verge of getting fired from her job because of all the days she was calling off.
Before we started dating, she displayed much of these unsavory traits, and a few others, as well, but once we started dating, she said that stuff was behind her. I dated her for 4 years* before realizing she was still quite unsavory.
I hooked up with a cute punk chick waaaay back, for maybe six months, and then she moved back home to Toronto. Had some larfs, she was hot – it was fine.
Then a year or so later, I bumped into her on the street in downtown Vancouver, while I was on my way to work. “Hail, fellow; well met!” and all that. Arranged to meet her after work.
It didn’t take very long to notice that something was wrong – she was a little incoherant and hard to follow, and when I kissed her, her mouth tasted awful. Not your usual awful breath, either; it was completely wrong and yet somehow familiar.
Over the course of the next few days, I discovered that she had no fixed address, hung out with a bunch of racist skinheads, spent most of the day panhandling and shoplifting, and, last but not least, was putting in a lot of time huffing Tester’s glue out of a bag. (Which explained the horrible taste.)
And she was not open to criticism or assistance at all.
Too bad, really. I remembered her an ironic, funny girl with tons of energy and enthusiasm. I hope she managed to turn it around.
My last ex. I had met her when I was 19 and I remember her as intelligent and confident. We hooked up 20+ years later and she had been divorced for several years. Either she wasn’t as confident as I had thought when I knew her, or the divorce took a lot out of her, but she was terribly insecure and every little thing would set off her insecurities. Once we fought because my body language told her that I had a bad weekend. And then once, when we got back together - and we had only been back together for two weeks - she was very angry because some of my friends hadn’t been told that we were back together. (People who I don’t see every day or even every month.) She said it indicated that I didn’t care about her. I got tired of trying to dodge those landminds.
She broke my heart - a bit. Ran off with a drug dealer - after having told me she hated him more than anyone she’d ever met (that level of passion should have alerted me). When I found out, she wouldn’t break up with me - got a mutual friend to say “she doesn’t want to see you again”. Then, six months later, got in touch through the same friend to say she was ready to see me again - I declined.
Lately I’ve heard she lives in a caravan, has three babies by three different men, drinks Special Brew, and has a dog on a string.
It said all that on her MySpace blog? Whoa.
My most pathetic ex is my daughter’s dad. I stayed with him a lot longer than I should have because I got pregnant. He was a loser on a few different levels. He didn’t work much, and when he did he blew the money. I’d read him the riot act about it and he’d cry and beg me to stay with him. I can’t begin to count how many times he cried and begged me to stay with him. He would do anything to keep me, except the things that would have worked.
Now I see him exhibiting the same behaviors with his wife. He’s at her beck and call, and even has to get her ok on little things like keeping our daughter overnight. He’ll do just about anything so that a woman will put up with his laziness and pay his way. It really says something about a man when he is perfectly content to let his woman take care of all the finances while he bullshits around from job-to-job, never really making any progress.
Much of it was on her blog, and some of it I got from a mutual friend.
Wouldn’t really label them as pathetic… Most of my exes have done just like what I did: moved on. A few are friendly acquaintances, one is a darn good freind.
A couple of them, tho, still hold some amazingly fresh grudges towards me and/or my friends and family. I find that sort of worthless. So you got hurt? I did too. Neither one of us was purposefully evil, stuff just happened.
I had one ex send me a magazine that had porn shots of her in it. (Solo, full spread) Um, yes, I remember your vagina. (Hi, kid!) Love what you’ve done with your hair, btw.
This sounds very similar to a girl I was dating.
When we first started dating I knew she liked to do a line from time to time but I didn’t mind all that much because despite this, she managed to keep her job and pay her bills. She seemed to have her ducks in a row.
Boy was I wrong, two months after we started dating she lost her job because she kept calling in to work because she was too hung over or wiped out to go. She then got evicted from her apartment because she couldn’t pay her rent.
Despite all this (and don’t ask me why) I continued to date her for an additional two months thinking she would get her shit staight.
Still, two months later she still hadn’t got a job or made any real attempt to get one. It was at that time I gave her the boot.
I ran into her about six months later at a bar. It turns out she is living out of her car. Appartently what she does is wait for the local bars to open and then goes in there to bum drinks off of unsuspecting guys.
Oh, yeah, for a couple of lines of coke she’ll fuck you brains out. :rolleyes:
What a fucking waste.
My first serious relationship. He was always hung up about admitting that he was gay (“I don’t like labels”) but I was pretty far in the closet myself in those days so I didn’t think much of it. We went together about 5 years and we finally moved in together. Within 6 months we broke up, living together showed our incompatibility, but we remained more-or-less friendly.
Until the time, several years later, when he told me on the phone he had decided he wasn’t gay after all, and that the various nasty stuff we had done together was just exploration and experimentation. Around the same time I was realizing all the ways he had belittled me (and I took it) when we were together, and continued to do so. I had grown a lot in those years, he was still pretty much the same.
Haven’t spoken to him since, haven’t missed it.
A guy from my hometown my aunt set me up with. He was actually my second cousin (through marriage). He was racist, staunchly conservative, who had a lot of talent but stayed in that dead-end town because it was the only place that would tolerate his hateful beliefs. He didn’t value my opinion or intelligence. Everyone thought I was crazy for leaving him, when he showered me with gifts and attention. I have no doubt he loved me as much as he was capable of loving anyone, but a relationship is built on mutual respect, which was sorely lacking. How could I love someone who was against everything I believed in?
He tried contacting me again last year, and again recently this year. I blocked him both times. I don’t need his negativity in my life.
Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves.