It just got real.
ETA Solo/Reynolds not ALF/Mork
Mork wins. He takes an allergy pill and shrinks to teeny-tiny size (because allergy pills shrink membranes, and Orkans are all membrane). He then hides on a cat which gets eaten by ALF whereupon the allergy meds wear off and Mork resumes his natural size. ALF explodes.
Batman v. Spiderman
Mork. He could use his finger to freeze ALF, and ALF is no Fonzie.
Eastwood’s “Man With No Name” vs Harry Callahan.
High Plains Drifter MWNN was a cold SOB, Callahan still had to work within the law, sort of. I’ll pick the gunslinger.
Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter vs Abraham Van Helsing, Vampire Hunter.
Lincoln. Even aside from being a vampire hunter, he’s also the President, with an entire army to back him up.
Next up: Alfred (of Batman) vs. Jarvis (of Iron Man)
Alfred is often depicted as some kind of former-British-military badass, and even in the Adam West series could dispatch the occasional villain single-handed; maybe it’s an even match if they’re both comic relief with blunderbusses, but Alfred otherwise.
The MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE team tries to con The Prisoner into revealing his secret.
I think the IMF would succeed because no matter how silly “The Prisoner” became, it was no match for the ludicrous espionage tactics of Phelps and company, God love 'em!
Next: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man vs. The Michelin Man.
The Michelin Man, because only Michelin tires maintain peak performance at high temperature, whereas marshmallows melt.
Sting (the musician) vs. Sting (the professional wrestler).
On the other hand, neither Bruce Wayne nor Batman was vaporized by Woody Allen’s indigestion.
So, even in his presumably enfeebled dotage, at age 87, I have to give the round to Bruce Wayne/Batman.
Maynard G Krebs vs Gilligan?
Gilligan, a WWII veteran (Navy).
Colonel Sanders or General Tso?
So it looks like General Tso was a real life military badass who saw a lot of action. Col. Sanders served in the US Army for a couple years as a teamster. His “Colonel” designation was an honorary title given by the State of Kentucky. Wiki says Sanders was involved in a gunfight with a business rival, but it doesn’t give a lot of detail. So, General Tso dispatches Sanders without breaking a sweat.
Jim Rockford vs. Thomas Magnum.
Rockford could take an ass-whupping like no other, which is lucky cause Navy Special Ops, Viet Nam vet Magnum can dish’em out.
Magnum.
Inspector Gadget vs. Dyno-mutt.
While I hate to say it, I would say Thomas Magnum based on the fact that he was a Navy Seals. Other than that it’s really hard to say. I prefer Rockford though.
Dyno-mutt, Gadget was too dimwitted for anything. Dyno-mutt could bite and maul.
Captain Hook or Gaston?
Gaston likes to hunt animals. Captain Hook is a professional at murdering people. Gaston takes out the crocodile, Hook thanks him and rips his throat out.
Next: Cafe Society, or Thread Games?
Cafe Society, far more variety and topics.
Iran or Turkey?
Turkey’s in NATO, so no contest.
Walker, Texas Ranger or Lone Wolf McQuade?
ETA: or would the space-time continuum be unable to contain the forces unleashed?
The fabric of space and time would be torn to shreds.
Clad only in bikini bottoms and white tee shirts and in a shallow but large inflatable pool filled with cold water, Ginger (from Gilligan’s Island) versus WKRP’s Jennifer?