Ajit Pai’s face measures only 0.4 on the Shrekli Scale of Punchability.
Mind you, that’s pretty darn high - Dustin Diamond is only a 0.3, and peak Ross Perot only reached 0.35.
Wilson, goddamn I am laughing so hard.
I’m stealing “Shkreli Scale of Punchability”.
Right. On this scale, we set Shkreli equal to 1.000. That’s because, just like with the Fahrenheit scale, Shkreli’s punchability is the largest we can create using current technology. Maybe in the future we might find a face that scores over a 1.00, but that’s somewhere in the future. We don’t set the scale at 1 because Shkreli is the highest conceivable, instead he’s just the highest that actually exists in the present day real world.
There are some actors who, with some work, can artificially reach 1.00, like, say, the aforementioned James Spader in 1986, or Richard Harmon (aka that guy from that show you just wanna punch in the face).
But that’s actors, using dangerous performance enhancing substances and editing. Shkreli clearly has the highest known un-enhanced punchable face.
The intensity of sound and earthquakes are measured in logarithms. Base 10 logarithms log[sub]10/sub are based on 10. Natural logarithms ln(x) are based on the value of e, approximately 2.718281828459. We need Shkreli logs, log[sub]s/sub. I leave it to you gentlepersons to determine the value of s.
Yeah, I thought of going with something like the Richter Scale for the Shkreli Scale, but decided setting the baseline of 1 = Shkreli (as Lemur866 explained very well) made more sense, since he is the maximum currently attainable.
I still doubt that James Spader ever approached anywhere near a 1.000 - but I’m not too familiar with his work in the 1980s.
I mean, even Wesley Crusher only reached 0.88 Shkreli.
Applicable Onion (band name):
He was alternately punchable and creepily hot in Pretty and Pink, so the hotness tempers the punchability.
Good G-d!