Here’s a hypothetical…what if this were my daughter? Would you advocate buying her Playgirl?
(No, I’m not being facetious. I really want to know.)
Firstly, if you tell him there is a better way to learn about women, AND you want him to REMAIN a virgin for now… I think a mag is the lesser of two evils (if ya want to call it that) You know what I’m saying? THere could easily be some 14 year girl wanting to know more about boys.
You don’t have to think about him having stiffies. I’m sure you don’t sit and think about his bowel movements. IT’s the same kinda thing. Just a natural body function.
I think it’s cute. How exciting. Your little man is growing up into a big man. Soon the hair… and the cracking voice. Wonderful stuff. I think all you can do is always be aware you are helping to mold this human being into an adult. Privacy, compassion, words of wisdom… and maybe a playboy!!!
best wishes
I might not do Playboy but how about something like FHM or Maxum? Sexy photos but no nudity. Oh and if you do get him something like that be sure to supply his room with kleenex.
oh… about the playgirl…
I read some advice column about a woman finding her teenage daughter playing with her dildo.
Apparently the mother was really angry. The ‘expert’ told her to actually go and buy her daughter her own dildo… since wanting to know what penetration feels like IS normal…and it’s safer she finds out with something meant for that purpose… not a piece of produce or a brush or whatever.
I don’t know if that helps ya.
On that score, ivylass, OF COURSE NOT.
Okay, now that we’ve got the typical dad reaction out of the way. Probably. Experimentation, looking at “nekkid” people, all of these things are part of growing up. If she wanted one, I’d probably hook her up. Welbywife would kill us both, but that’s antoher story.
I don’t know, ivylass, and I hope never to find out. The Moto twins are, after all, brother and sister.
Different kids require different approaches. Hell, I don’t even know if I’d be comfortable with Playboy in my son’s room, depending on how he’d handle it. I do know I’d not be comfortable with other publications regardless of the circumstances.
In other words, I’m copping out on this question. I apologize, but any other answer I give wouldn’t be honest.
MissBungle, that was ‘Savage Love’ by Jeff Savage, right? He made an interesting point that I hadn’t thought of…Masturbation is about penetration for both sexes, a guy penetrates his hand, and a girl sticks things in herself. Same thing, different sides. (Yes, I know where the clit is folks, but…)
So buying a girl an approved sex toy is a good thing because there are too many emergency room visits by extremely embarrassed girls who got a carrot stuck up their hoochie. Talk about traumatic! How I am going to deal with this when my girl grows up, I have NO clue…But I do agree with the concept. I’ll probably have one of my girl-friends talk to her…they’re all pervs, she’d probably confide in them better than dad, and probably a heck of a lot better than mom (Wifecat’s great, but I don’t think she’d deal with that).
And ivylass, You have to do the condom thing now. I knew girls who got down at age 14 (and my friend has a cousin who is gettin down at age 12 now)…Who do you think your little boy will listen to more? You or Suzie Jenkins saying “C’mere big boy…” If given the opportunity, he just might make a bad choice. I was 5 minutes away from losing my virginity at 15, but got walked in on. Then the opportunity didn’t come up again until I was 16…and no, I didn’t use a condom then. STUPID! And truthfully, I was so horny from such a young age, I actually HOPED my babysitter would molest me (she was hot!). If I had a chance at 11, I would have taken it in a heartbeat.
-Tcat
Seriously, folks, I’m just going to sit on the floor and cry.
This is why my sister won’t tell her son (age 10) the facts of life. He’s so damned curious about TRYING everything, she’s absolutely certain as soon as he has factual information, he will find someone to try it out with. His ignorance is her bliss 
I’m surprised with all the response to this, someone hasn’t suggested getting Ivyteen a book that deals sensitively with the issues of teenage sexuality – a “Judy Blume for boys” or something of the sort.
Whether or not parents are comfortable with the idea, kids are going to get interested in sex as they enter their teens – and they need to have some reassurance that it’s normal and not “sick” in some way to have that interest – and that it’s their responsibility, as they mature, to manage it healthily (which usually will involve masturbatory release, for boys at least – not having ever been a teenage girl, I can’t speak for them!).
Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful
Pictures of Lily help me sleep at niiiight
Pictures of Lily solved my childroom problem
Pictures of Lily help me feel all riiiiiight
You’re better off with Playboy or whatever–these “lad” mags have a tendency to offer all kinds of advice that’s totally inappropriate for a teenager, not to mention that they glorify alcohol and drug abuse on a regular basis.
I would suggest monitoring internet usage carefully, and checking on “reading material” to see if anything wildly inappropriate has entered the pornographic canon. E.g., don’t provide the lad with Playboy, but don’t take it away, either. On the other hand, if “Shaved Asians” tuns up under the mattress, get rid of it…
Guess what! your teenager feels the same way about …er…you and…your husband…er…doing it. :o
[serious]
Privacy: always knocking is a very good policy.
Playboy advice: I think this is over the top - there’s no need to give him porn that he’s going to find anyways. Also, internet porn is among many reasons why it’s not the best idea to let a child/teenager have their own computer in their own room.
Condoms: You or your husband could give him a few condoms, with the following schpiel: “Look, son, I know this is embarrassing for you, but what I have to say is important. Your (father/mother) and I have tried to raise you so you won’t have sex until you’re ready for it, but whenever you DO decide you’re ready, we want you to be sure that you’re safe and that you use a condom.” Then give him a pamphlet from Planned Parenthood or something that describes how to properly use one, and tell him to read it later (no need for a “banana” demonstration!)
It’ll be awkward as hell for the both of you, but you’ll be glad you got it out of the way. With any luck the condoms will sit in the back of his dresser drawer until Senior Prom night, or until college, or until he joins the monastery.
The computer is smack in the middle of the living room, and since he gets home after his little sister, it’s not like he can go surfing on lesbianstewardessess.com when we’re not home.
Polycarp mentioned a “Judy Blume for boys” – and I remembered, there is one! It’s called Then Again, Maybe I Won’t. It does, er… touch upon the subject of increasing sexual awareness, but it’s mostly a peer-pressure type book. IIRC, Tony (the main character) witnesses a hot shot rich kid in his neighborhood shoplifting, and that’s the big moral crisis of the book. Probably worth reading.
…and if you really want to embarrass him, mention that his experiments at “self-abuse” have been the topic of an already-two-page thread on the Internet!
I read that book! (But then, I read all of Judy Blume’s books). She really has an insight into preteens.
I think standard handling practice is to start off holding the mag with both hands, then move on to just holding it with one hand. 
[sub]Damn, I can’t believe nobody beat 
me to that.[/sub]
I’ve got to agree with welby, Amp, etc. that Playboy is much more tame than not only Penthouse and other skin mags, but way tamer than stuff he could find on the Web. So I’d say let him have Playboy, but remove anything more heavy-duty, and monitor his computer use, or use a filter. (I don’t care where the computer is; there will inevitably be times when he’s home alone.) You probably don’t want him learning about sex from sites showing facial cumshots, women fellating dogs, or whatnot.
OTOH, like Polycarp said, you do want to get him some sort of decent all-around guide to his own sexuality. It should not only cover the physiology of it, but also the emotional side, and it should make clear that being horny for girls (or, in some cases, boys) is normal, and that whether they talk about it or not, all his friends are beating off too: it’s what guys do.
At that age? 30 seconds, max.
(continuing the Judy Blume hijack)
I think a lot of her stuff is kind of dated now, but reading them again might give you a little insight to use as a possible discussion opener. Good luck!