I find it hard to believe the poor chicken wouldn’t be fighting prior to orgasm.
Ewww.
Well, at least this begins to explain some people’s affection for woolen underwear. I suppose this is illegal in many places, if you get caught do ewe go on the lamb ?
Ugh. Could we stick to the GQ of “whence the stereotype about sheep” (and the jokes, of course) and shy away from the “right way” to commit this crime?
Thanks.
underlining added by Bosda Di’Chi.
Terribl*e.
Sheep also seem to be just the right height, no?
Well?
[sub]What? What did I say?[/sub]
This looks like a good place for a joke…
This ventriloquist is driving by a farm when his car breaks down. He goes to ask the farmer if he can call a tow truck.
The farmer says, “Sure! Would you like to take a look around the farm while you wait?”
Sure, says the ventriloquist. So the farmer makes the call, then shows him around the farm. As he’s approaching the pig pen, the ventriloquist decides to have a little fun. So when the farmer says, “These are my prize pigs,” the ventriloquist throws his voice so it sounds like a pig says, “It sure is dirty in this pen!”.
The farmer whirls around and says, “What was that? Did a PIG talk?”
The ventriloquist says, “Sure sounded like it to me. Maybe we were hearing things.”
The farmer lets it go, and takes him over to see the cows. As he’s showing the ventriloquist the cows, the ventriloquist throws his voice again, and it sounds like one of the cow says, “moo… It sure is hot out today!”.
The farmer, visibly flustered now, says, “Let’s get back to the house. Something strange is going on today.”
The ventriloquist is killing himself trying not to laugh on the way back to the farmhouse. As they’re walking, he spots some sheep in a field and says, “Hey, are those your sheep?”
The farmer whirls around to the ventriloquist and says, “DON’T YOU LISTEN TO THOSE DAMN SHEEP! THEY IS ALL LIARS!!!”
I think it goes with the nature of shepherding sheep in ancient times.
Think about it.
2000+ years ago, you didn’t have guys out with “herds” of pigs. You just raised a pig or two at home. You let cows out to pasture to graze all day. You didn’t go out there with them.
But sheep! As a shepherd, you went far and wide with them, looking for pasture. And for extended periods of time. Lots of lonely cold nights. And their “attributes” already described here certainly added to the mix.
I have no doubt that sheep/sex jokes were around in ancient Greece.
*A chicken?!
White Lightning said “Actually, a friend of mine was taking a course in Human Sexuality (it was required) at the College of Marin (California), and one of the things that he told me he learned there was that the most common objects of zoophiliac encounters were ducks.”
This does not seem believable. Perhaps the instructor had a very bad foreign accent and was trying to say “dogs”. Or maybe your friend had not had his/her coffee that morning.
[partypooper mode on]We Australians tell a lot of jokes about New Zealanders and sheep. I understand that we do this because - the people population of NZ is 3 million (4 million?) while the sheep population of NZ is 6 million.
How terribly boring is that.[/partypooper mode off]
… and we Kiwis have many, many more jokes about Aussies an’ sheep, 'cause there’s a lot more Aussies than Kiwis, and a much bigger Outback.
We’re all so friendly, that way. 
Actually sheep herding is still a lonely job. Back before I got into tech support I was considering doing some sheep herding in Montana - my brother lived up there and apparently sheep herders were in high demand. It was an easy way to make some extra money, if you didn’t mind being by yourself and not having any luxuries. The owner of the sheep herd would have you driven up to the area where the sheep were grazing and drop you off at a small cabin with a months supplies. You had no electricity but you did have propane for heat and cooking. You didn’t have to spend all your time watching the sheep, you would basically herd them out to the field in the morning, break the ice on their water trough if there was any, then go back to your cabin. You go check on them once during the day, and then near sunset you go bring them back. After a month of this they come pick you up, give you your pay (usually about $1000) and give you a ride to town to buy more supplies. The next morning they pick you up from your motel and take you back up to the cabin for another month. It’s seasonal work, but since you don’t have anything to spend money on for most of the month it was possible to save up several thousand dollars.
It’s just 'cuz they’re all soft and fluffy.
Yes, but did the duck quacks echo?
And the English tell the same jokes about the Welsh and sheep. That’s why the unofficial Welsh national anthem is “And we like sheep”.
“Honestly, officer, I thought it was a woman in a sheepskin coat with her back to me.”
Ah, we could go on cracking sheep jokes till the cows come.
Kate S
Oi you lot
Cut it with the wise cracks about my 'lations and leave the beastiality to the professionals.
** Grandpa Simpson voice**: Just call me mint jelly, cause I’m on the lamb.
And I’ll never view that episode quite the same way again.
When Wales was playing Australia at rugby dad said “Clash of the two great sheep-shagging nations” (he was joking) so the english tell it about Australia as well. And probably New Zealand also. But we’re not compensating for anything, oh no.
(Apologies to all comonwealth members, sheep, and sheep-shaggers)
In my local paper there are occasionally tales of chicken plant workers having their way with the poultry. (How fowl…)
Interestingly enough, if someone is caught buggering a chicken the chicken will not be processed for human consumption. I don’t know if it’s still killed or put in the “survivors” pen, as it were. That I’d love to find out, but I don’t think Perdue will answer my phone calls…
I have a hard time comprehending an adult male fucking a chicken. Does this really happen? Does it kill the chicken?
Ughh… TMI… I don’t know if I want to know…
It’s a very common thing. I’m sure you’ve heard them term “choking the chicken” as a term for masturbation. Where do you suppose that comes from?
I never thought of it that way… I’ve also heard it called “Spanking the Monkey” but I don’t want to imagine where that came from either…
Thanks… I think.