“You can get married without being pregnant?”
(courtesy “Stop the World - I Want to Get Off”)
“I haven’t yet met anyone whom the voices in my head have approved.”
Besides, librarians are the secret Masters and Mistresses of the world, and we really don’t want to upset them, do we?
Damn straight! Now shhhhh!
“It’s either because I’m ugly or because I have a horrid personality or maybe both. Which one do you think it is?”
or
“The obvious reason.” Which lets them fill in the explanation for themselves.
Hang on, everyone – once you hit 50, they stop asking.
It’ll be so nice to see the rellies for Chrissie! But… Oh Dear… another year gone by and the Goldfish still isn’t married.
Well for God’s sake let’s mind our own bizzo! No earbashing about it, you know how sensitive Goldfish is!
Bloody oath! Like a mimosa leaf. One touch and … Oh my!
Right, that’d be … we don’t want to go there!
Even in text form fake Aussie accents suck.
Just so you know, once you do get married, the question tranforms into, “When are you two going to have a baby?”
The rudeness never ends.
:: swoon ::
Around here, “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to shoot you” is frighteningly close to an acceptable answer to that question. 
At least that one has an easy answer: “When we’re good and hungry.”
Well, she’s not “legal” for another 8 months. Do bunny ears for “legal”.
Extra points if you are a girl.
Court order.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
To the baby question I always answered “about nine months after we get pregnant.”
I suppose the marriage question would be “Oh, I don’t know, I suppose about a year after I get engaged.”
"We did. We got $50,000 for him on the open market and paid off the morgage. Can’t wait until next year when we can buy a boat "
The one that I want to tell my aunt whenever she asks me this (and she does a lot, especially at funerals) is
“Because the UK won’t let me marry the woman I love”
Its dated now since gay marriage is soon to be legal, but I just want to see her face. I wonder what’d faze her most, me being a lesbian, or me marrying “outside” our community…
We’re waiting for the parole to come through.
Don’t I already have enough laundry?
Whenever I tell my girlfrineds about my family, they dump me.
Speaking of Miss Manners, she says this is one of the rudest questions you can ask. The only answer to “Wouldn’t you like a husband/wife” is obvious: That depends. WHOSE?