This is in response to the earlier question, the age old lament that women don’t like “nice guys.” It struck me that if people would answer that, they might answer this. I admit to generalizing, but experience supports my theory that most men will automatically choose to pay attention to the woman dressed most like a tart. I have tested this - by going to the same place at the same time on two consecutive weeknights. I saw the same people, obviously the regulars. On one occasion I was in my usual “coming from work” clothes. On the other, I was wearing something low-cut and just a little too tight. I don’t think I need to tell most people when I actually found men talking to me!
I realize that most men eventually sort out the real bimbos, and choose someone with more to offer in long term relationships – but why do we have to wait through the interim? What are men really thinking when they swarm around the women whose breasts are bigger than her head and IQ smaller than her shoe size?
You can only be a victim once. After that you’re just a volunteer.
I don’t know if you’ve ever approached a stranger and put your ego on the line by trying to start up a conversation. It’s really scary. Naturally, guys are going to gravitate towards someone who looks receptive.
Well, that and we just like staring down your dresses.
Bimbos, bums, sluts, womanizers, church ladies, overbearing big shots.It’s what you go for and are comfortable with. Skinny guys that like fat women usually have fat moms. Skinny women that go for fat guys, I imagine have overweight dads.
I can’t buy that. I never dated any losers. I never dated at all until I was in my 20’s. Recollection (by friends) and records (photos) show that I wasn’t in any way repulsive. I was certainly shy and often a smartypants without intending to be so – it’s hard to hide what you know when you are young enough not to realize that other people don’t know. As smart as I am, it still hurts that I didn’t get to go to the prom - or any dances. I’m considering planning a prom for myself… or is it too late? I guess that’s another thread!
They’re thinking, “This woman who is prominently displaying her ample secondary sexual characteristics is triggering the evolutionary drive in me which was selected for by the fact that beings who enjoy sex more have more sex and reproduce more.” I don’t think it goes too much deeper than that.
What do you mean, “why do men fall for bimbos?” There’s an obvious pressure from natural selection to predispose us to this behavior. A bimbo is (theoretically) willing to have sex with a guy without requiring the typical substantial investment on his part (like having to talk to her for hours, buying rings and presents, sitting through chick flicks with her, introducing her to his family, etc.) The general idea is, “hey, I’ll get to have sex with this chick with a minimum of fuss, and then I’ll be able to get away like it never happened!” Sometimes this results in a pregnancy and so guys who “fall for bimbos” have a competitive selection advantage over guys who don’t. After all, semen is cheap.
“Who are all you people, and how did you get in my computer?”
Are you defining “bimbo” as a womandressed in a sexually receptive way? Why do you assume this correlates with stupidity?
I like it when my girlfriend dresses a little revealing; she’s far from stupid.
If you dress revealingly for someone, you’re sexy. If you dress that way for EVERYONE, then maybe you’re slutty.
Actually, I like it generally when women display their attractiveness; I don’t equate that with low IQ.
Certainly the men in your experiment responded to you more when you went dressed like someone who wanted company, rather than someone who simply stopped in to get a drink after work. Wasn’t that just consideration to you?
I’ve found if you dress and act the way you feel comfortable, you will attract the kind of mate who is best suited for you.
If you tart yourself up in a way in which you are uncomforable, you will probably attract a bunch of people who aren’t your type anyway.
Since college, I’ve just dressed in comfortable, relatively baggy clothing. I certainly clean but I rarely wear make-up or do anything complicated with my hair. I used to get upset because I didn’t attract a horde of guys but it occurred to me, would it make me happy if I did? No way. Just being myself, I attracted enough guys to keep me busy and I’m with a guy now who knows and loves the true me. It would be awful if I always worried “what if he doesn’t like me as much with these clothes or no make-up…?”
If it’s true that men are attracted to scantily clad women because they think they’ll get laid, I feel I’m doing something right because these guys don’t approach me. I don’t WANT a one night stand. I don’t want to have to chase off the guys I’m not interested in. These are not my type of guy and I’d only be miserable constantly attracting the wrong kind of guy.
My point is obviously unclear, and I am not optimistic - but I will try. I do not equate a certain style of dress necessarily with stupidity, but my experience has shown that women who dress that way often or always are usually stupid or mercenary. I agree that there is a time when that sort of clothing is appropriate, and I have been pleased to liven things up for my lover at times in that fashion (pun seemed unavoidable.) But the bar in which I did my experiment is downtown, where I made the assumption (perhaps in error) that most people there would be dressed as coming from work and expect that in others. On both occasions I made myself “available” in terms of body language, eye contact and all those things that one is supposed to do to make it clear that I would welcome company. I can’t say that I perceived the fact that they ignored me on the one occasion as a courtesy.
I also think the point that women dressed in a certain fashion are seen as more sexually available supports my point: even if it’s true, why would men want to have sex with someone when they would have nothing to say after? I except the hormonal impairment (smile) found in the very young. I am talking about men in their 30’s and 40’s - men who have been known to lament about women who want nothing but money and good times. Men who are reasonably sensible about safe sex, who say they want a family… and cant understand the inherent error in their choices.
I do realize I am generalizing, and that there are perhaps as many men who don’t fall for looks and flash as there are women who don’t languish after bad boys.
As far as the question goes, for guys in genetral, it has more to do with sex than with love. But we have to look at the big picture and the ** four tires of life**. I’m in the process of explaining it to loverock. Here we are dealing with the Love Tire. For a lot of guys, your vehicle of life is a pick up truck.You see where I’m getting? All the tires run a little rough, so your Love Tire works only on simple relationships. Like bimbos.
In my case, I drive a Toyota Tercel, and the Love Tire blew out with my last relationship.So I’ve been driving with a mini spare for a Love Tire. Needless to say, it does not allow for very lasting relationships. So it’s bimbos for me, until I can afford new tires. Then, perhaps, richer bimbos.
But at some point in their life, guys will have to trade in their pick up truck of life and eventually get maybe a Volvo station wagon. And with the Love tire on that, you can expect to practice safe sex, so bimbos are out.
Rich, after you take Sassy to the prom, you wanna take me to mine? Actually, I did go to my prom, but with a male friend, who promtly abandoned me as soon as we walked in the door. I graduated high school 12 years ago but this is something I still think about quite a bit for some reason.
Rich, excellent metaphors. Were you inspired, perhaps by a line from Springsteen? (pardon the paraphrasing)
“You haven’t lived until you had your tires rotated by a red headed woman.”
As for the mini spare tire in your tercel that wore out, could it have been just a rebound tire?
As for Sunbears hypotenuese about skinny guys that go for fat women usually have fat mom…My husband and his mother are both stocky people. He is a XXL in shirt a 40 waist and built like a brick wall. She is easily a 1X in a very solid kind of way. The two of them could be linemen for the Lions weighing in at 230 for him and 220 for her. He can share shirts, sweat shirts, and coats with his mother.I don’t know many large men who can do that. Now if only he would wear her dresses, we could save a fortune in wardrobe expenses.
I have saved over the years cartoon quips and one that is timeless goes like this.
“I want a woman who raises cain. I just don’t want her to raise my children.”
Or, more automotivally speaking, " All men want the porsche, but they go with the mini van."
Perhaps men who date the proverbial bimbos do so because they are threatened by women of intelligence, backbone and integrity.
My current boyfriend has a bit of this in him. He fully admits his main criteria when he started dating his ex wife was that she was a “10.” Not much else mattered to him except looks.
Fast forward fifteen years, and he’s starting to see that there’s more in life than a pretty face & killer body. But he’s still not all the way there. He points out men to me and says “Isn’t he great looking” and 9 out of 10 times I’ll say “Well, yeah, he’s kind of cute, but he looks about as smart as an ape.” or “he looks like a complete asshole. I want a nice guy.” He looks at me in amazement - as if he’s never heard of going beyond looks as a measure for attraction.
Just last weekend, he showed me a postcard with a very muscular man on it. I said “Yuk.” He said “What are you talking about? Look at that chest! Look at those abs! You wouldn’t like that?”
My answer to that was “That guy wouldn’t even go out and have a beer with me because he’d be too worried about getting fat. Vain men, yuk!”
Once again, he was amazed. Sure, looks are important - I don’t want to date a man who I don’t find physically attractive - but it’s only part of the equation. Give me an OK looking guy who’s really smart, funny, and a nice guy, and I’ll take him over the amazing looking guy who has the personality and intellect of an early 80’s Ford Escort.
But you men, apparantly, don’t always agree with us women.
Why is your boyfriend trying to point out good looking guys to you Athena? I know if I were doing that, it would just be a weasel way of trying to break up without taking responsibility. Maybe I’m just more weasely than most though.
The question sort of answers itself, doesn’t it?