Why does my girlfriend spend so much time here

she is really addicted to this site. i think she needs to scale back a little. it is hurting our relationship. what should i do?

She comes here because she likes to see capitalization at the beginning of sentences, and she’s not getting that from you.

Welcome to the Straight Dope. This sort of thread goes in the forum called In My Humble Opinion. I’ll move it there from General Questions.

General Questions Moderator

great, thanks. you rock!

my friend says I spend too much time here too

She sold her soul to Skald the Rhymer, then in her weakened state, fell prey to my mind control magicks. She is kept in an idling state, reading the Dope until provided further instructions as part of my plan to…Take over the World!!!.

What, you were expecting maniacal laughter? I’m not a mad scientist. I’m an evil occult wizard. We only chuckle in a sinister manner.

Maybe *you *should spend more time here. That would show her!

For exactly this kind of easy camaraderie (and grammatical advice)?

she doesn’t want me here. she says this is her “thing” and i should find my own. she also says that only nerds eat chili dogs.

Well, it is where the cool kids hang out…

She realized the fight against ignorance is lost on you already, and is saving you from the heartache that realization of that is sure to bring.

Sounds like a keeper to me.

Then you should start an IMHO thread about whether it’s fair for girlfriends to keep their guys away from the Dope.

that is some deep stuff right there.

Have you considered talking to her directly rather than via a message board?


are you crazy? once she finds out about this thread i’m in deep trouble. i would hate to imagine what would happen if i started two.

Wild guess here, based upon absolutely no information whatsoever:

The straight talk and intellectual stimulation she receives here are an excellent balance to the passive agressive droning in her real life.

she doesn’t like it when i talk to her directly.

This is exactly the reason 3M released their Post-It Notes product. Many relationship failures are caused by unempathetic, overly-blunt communications where both parties talk and neither listens.

Nothing can remedy that as well as Post-Its can. Start leaving notes on the bedroom door (“Honey, you’re very special to me”), on the bathroom mirror (“Now you see what I see. You’re the most beautiful thing in the world.”), on her computer monitor (“But what do YOU see? ONLY DOPE! Where am I?”), on the AC adapter that you unplugged (“Maybe now that your battery’s dead, you’ll actually talk to me.”). Etc.

This way, she’ll know you’re serious about restoring health and equality to your relationship in a loving, non-confrontational way.

If that doesn’t work, you could also surreptitiously make yourself the center of a new internet meme and have the rest of us talk about you for you. She’ll see our comments and realize what a wonderful man she’s been neglecting.

It may also be a matter of your physical attractiveness. It may be time for a new look. Try Gates glasses and the Hawking head-tilt. Sure to make any Doper lady swoon.

Well as someone who has experienced a DoperCouple spat on here…you are not doing yourself any favors this way.

When did we ever spit on a DoperCouple?