Why does this always happen (liking girls thing)

So anyway, yeah why does this always happen,
you like a girl, they might not or might like you back

then,

Someone else (like their friend) then tell you that they like you alot. And you were totally oblivious to the fact they were. Should I either drop the one I like and go out with the girl who has a crush on me, or drop them both…what should I do?

Why does it happen?!?!?!

I’d say why it happens is due to the sheer perversity of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Should you drop one or both is a different matter, and you haven’t provided enough detail on how far your relationship has progessed with girl A to make a reasoned decision. But, be aware that if you DO drop girl A for girl B, the odds of you ever getting back together with girl A drop to infinitesimal.

I am close to girl A more than girl B, but Girl B introduced us both, I think its the classic case of “he got something, so I want it too”

Then, I’d tell girl B, thank you, that’s very flattering, but I’m not in a position to do anything about it, at the moment. Or, words to that effect. YSMV (Your Style May Vary).

Yeah, poor you :slight_smile:

Go out with Girl B. Completely blow off Girl A until she gets insanely jealous. Then hit Girl A.

Blah. You can’t date two girls at once? You’re not married to either one, are ya?

Girl B is danger. If you drop Girl A for Girl B, Girl A will feel betrayed by both you and Girl B. Girl B should have never introduced you to Girl A if she liked you that much. If nothing else, she should have said something to you before you started dating Girl A. As it stands, she waited until you were unavailable to approach you. I’d be careful.

If you like Girl A, then be with Girl A and explain to Girl B that you are flattered, but that you are committed to Girl A (and please don’t add atm to that). If you really are secretly in love with Girl B, then follow your heart, but make sure that you have a really good talk with Girl A.

As for dating two girls at once, that really depends. Some girls are completely fine with a more relaxed relationship where you and she are both dating more than one person. Some girls are not. I think there would be more of a problem in this case if they are friends.

Because women are involved in a very evil conspiracy to drive all men insane.

I really like girl A, not in love yet, we came to an agreement to take it as it goes, girl B stopped talking to me, not because she hates me, but she made it awkward for me and Girl A, I hope she comes round, I miss her friendship.

And because of this fact, trying to understand any of their actions, motivations, or words is entirely futile. You have to make the most of what you can, and try not sweat the rest - it just isn’t worth it.

NEVER go out with someone just because it’s available. You won’t like it, and she’ll just get hurt in the end.

Explain Cardinal (Yes i know he has but in a more detailed explanation, if not any trouble?) I think this could help me.

Seriously man, girls have some sort of 6th sense for when you’re unavailable. It attracts them like chum attracts sharks.

I swear to god, I was in a relationship for 2 years and it seemed like I had to fight girls off with a stick, now I’ve been single for 2 months and I haven’t gotten one sly look.

Haha! Why the hell is that, come on girls why is it?

Tell her that. If she doesn’t come around, then it is her loss.

Attend to me young one, and learn from my wisdom and experience…

If you aren’t currently entranced by a woman, then you have no business dating her. Finding her interesting is good, but then just hang around and see what develops.

I have twice officially dated someone basically because she was available, and I was so shocked that she would be interested. Here’s the point: I wasn’t really attracted myself. I didn’t catch myself staring, thinking, “Oh yeahhhhhh”. I didn’t miss her when away. I didn’t start having little fantasies in my head about our life together. I didn’t have warm feelings about her signing her name as Mrs. Cardinal.

What happened? I broke up with both of them. The first one was smarter, and figured it out for herself, and I couldn’t come up with the energy to keep the relationship together. I just didn’t care enough.

The second one ran on for about a year and a half, and was brought to a head by our sort-or-engagement. That day though, we went to a movie, and during it I really got ahold of the idea of marrying her, and my skin temp went up about ten degrees. It was like I was having a menopausal hot flash that you hear about. We put it on hold, but every time I got ahold of the idea again, I got the same gnawing feeling and hot flash. These were not good signs.

So, what’s the outcome? I wasted a year and a half, I wasted her time for her, I got a family out there to mostly hate me, and I feel like such an idiot that I can hardly stand to talk to her, just because it makes a tape play a loop in my head that says, “I’m such an ass.”

There are stages I think that appropriate for relationships.

You’re a friend: We go around in the same crowd.

You’re a good friend: We make a point occaisionally to do things together.

I’m interested: I’m making a point to do things with you often.

We’re dating: I have little fantasies about this working out well, and as it stands now, I could see this going all the way, maybe. We kiss and snuggle, etc.

We’re engaged: I’m really ready to make the move and decide that you’re what I’ve been looking for.
My main point here is that when you do something that implies something, you’re essentially lying if you don’t mean the thing. Granted, you can break up while dating, that’s why they don’t call it “married”, but if you’re going to be dating someone, doesn’t she have the right to expect that you mean it? Wouldn’t you be hurt if you found out that she was dating you just as a place-holder until someone else better came along?

I agree with that speech by Cameran Diaz in “Vanilla Sky”, about how Tom Cruise had been saying a lot with his body and actions that he should have been willing to back up with his further actions. Don’t be that guy.

I personally leave taken guys alone, but my guy and girl friends and I have all had this discussion before, and it’s really simple. Guys who are taken tend to have an air of confidence that is just damn sexy. A guy who is happy with his relationship shows that happiness; he’s friendlier and nicer, and he isn’t “on the prowl” (which isn’t always what a girl wants). The confidence seems to come from having someone care for him as much as he cares for her and knowing that she’ll be there for him.

So, if you want to get some attention from the opposite sex, be sure of yourself without being arrogant. Also, be approachable. Some single guys look like they’re just hunting for anything without a penis to sleep with, and most girls won’t find that attractive at all.

Also, I wish I had heard Cardinal’s wisdom a few years ago. My ex wanted to marry me, and I was only 16. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I soon saw that I was only with him because he showed interest in me. What a waste of time that was for both of us :frowning:

Good luck Ryan_Liam. I hope the friend stops feeling uncomfortable around you and you guys are able to hang out again.