Okay; maybe a bit more info is called for here. She was a beautiful woman with a somewhat noticeable nose. The most surefire way of setting her off would be to mention how attractive Barbra Streisand was. Ka-whoOOOmmm!
A few months before we got married she had her nose whittled down by a prominent Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.
Acrtually, I didn’t think it fit the rest of her features, but she was totally in love with the new hooter. She spent hours staring into a mirror, completely caught up with the new her.
Uh-oh, I thought. Warning bells were ringing, red flags were starting to fly.
A few months after we were married she decided that she was beautiful after all, and here she was stuck with boring and unglamorous Mr Shlubbo, who was trying to study to pass the California bar at the time.
Zooom. Out to an apartment of her own and a resumption of her earlier life in the company of musicians and recording industry hotshots. Soon she moved to Great Britain where she is now regarded as quite the authority in a discipline which is currently being debated in another thread as to whether it is actually scientific
Ex number two was a wonderful woman whose life was claimed by Multiple Sclerosis four months after we married.
The ex-wife was somone I’ve known since 7th grade. We re-met at a high school reunion and it was love at first sight. Married a year later. She was a widow and had 2 boys from her late husband. I figured it would be great as we shared a faith, goals and I thought I had learned to trust and compromise.
Sadly an evil alien from the 5th dimension took over her mind and as the demonic plan she had for world domination became obvious, things went from bad to worse.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but she’s not really your ex, is she? If she were still alive you’d still be married, right? So it was an involuntary dissolution of the relationship?
#1 wanted us to stop using condoms. I refused. He said “the others don’t mind!” I said “eeeeexcuse me, what others?” Turns out Mr I Want You To Marry Me And Be The Mother Of My Children had been sleeping around any night I wasn’t available, with any hole that stayed still long enough but with no rubbers. From smoke in my eyes to “what the fuck am I doing with this moron?” in 4 words.
#2 never was willing to try anything new that I proposed (not because it was me, he wasn’t willing to try anything his friends proposed if it was new, either). Somehow I didn’t think that a guy who wasn’t willing to listen to my music for half an hour or to let me explain my own POV about what-ever without interrupting would be willing to listen when it came time to discuss the kid’s schooling.
Both LTRs and several single-date-dudes: insisted in fitting me to their mental images of “my gf”, rather than fitting the mental image to me. Wanted to take charge of my finances, even though I was much better at finances than they were. Really, if you make 3x as much as your girl and can’t save, don’t tell her what to do with her savings.
Simple suggestion for you and anyone else who finds themselves in this situation.
“Oh god, what a relief! I wanted to tell you how much I absolutely HATE sex, but I didn’t want to lose you. Now I don’t have to worry! (insert insane little laugh) You can keep screwing all those sluts, that will keep you happy, and I don’t ever have to do that shit again!”
Ex#1) We had a very difficult but very loving relationship. She was married when we initially met online. It was pretty messy, but it worked out for a long time. Things got very serious eventually, and she said she didn’t want any kids, ever. That combined with us having to spend the next year very far apart made me decide to end it. It was a mostly mutual and very respectful dissolution. We are still friends and talk occassionally. I drunken phone-called her once and said some not-nice things and still feel like a heel abou tit, but she’s forgiven me and accepted my apologies.
Ex#2) She broke up with me and got a new boyfriend. We started seeing each other during a time when she thought her boyfriend had broken up with her. I probably should have not dated her again out of respect for the other guy, but I was horny and stupid. This was all combined with a long-distance factor again… Luckily it worked out and we’re still close friends.
I’m obviously summarizing a great deal here. In any case, I’ve been blessed with respectful break-ups. Those are my only two ex’s at the moment though, so I’m sure time will tell.
You gotta feel bad for women these days, so many feel they have to be beautiful, get drunk, and put out to get a guy, then those exact things consume them.
One turned out to be still married, but separated. Some people may be OK with that, but I’m not. I was absolutely horrified when I found out, and even more horrified that, for a few minutes, I was trying to think of reasons why it should be OK for me to stay with him. I felt guilty about that for the next ten years, literally.
Another was absolutely perfect on paper, but I just couldn’t make myself love him. God knows, I tried. I tried very hard, because by every criterion I could put into words, he was perfect for me. The only thing I can think of that was wrong with him was that he was grossed out when I let his family’s dog lick me on the face. Finally, one night working in the physics lab, I realized I just didn’t and couldn’t love him.
I was nice… I refrained from telling him “I absolutely hated sex with you, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Mind you, he probably would not have understood it. He’s the kind of guy who thinks “I’ve never had any complaints” is the same as “I do a fine job.” Hint: if you were so good, some of those holes would want a repeat.
We had been talking about it for a while, and he gave me the engagement ring the summer before I left for my year abroad. We both know that it’s a definite thing (as I plan to move out to Sacramento after I graduate in June) but we never really say much about it to other people…Too many people going “But you’re so young! How are you sure?!”- apparently 22 years old is still inexperienced :rolleyes:. Most of my friends are fiercely independent females so while they understand my relationship, it would get too tired to flash my ring and say “Ahem” each time they go on about how one of their “young” friends just got married and it’s too soon for that etc. etc. Not that I want to be the exemption that proves them wrong or anything, I just go with the flow and realize that I’m the odd one out. That and the fact that I never had the sappy, happy moments when I tell people about my engagement (family included) made me think that it wouldn’t make any difference to keep quiet about it.
I think it’s going to be a long engagement, probably 5 years, until we’re on our own feet and supporting ourselves before anything happens. Not that I don’t mind.
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