My mom’s too lazy to change it back.
It’s never spoken of “ownership” to me…more of partnership. And when I took his name, it no longer was merely his name, it was my name, and I have every right to keep it. Which I intend to do, until I marry again, if ever. My kids have occasionally asked me why I didn’t change my name back…my daughter actually thought about changing her last name to my maiden name because of her hatred for her dad…but then she realized I had a crappy maiden name! But besides all the expense and hassle, and the desire to retain a family sense, that name is me…it’s who I am and what I’ve been through, and changing it back now after having it over half my life just seems like trying to negate all I have become and experienced. Plus no one would have the vaguest idea who I was anymore, and I’d have to do too much explaining…hi, remember me, I used to be kitten B, but now i’m kitten A again…no, I’ve been divorced for years, no, I didn’t get remarried, no, I just decided to go back to my maiden name, no, no real good reason why, no, he was a jerk but not so horrible I need to wipe him from my life, no, I’m not running from debts…
But I would happily change it again if I ever remarried, because it would signal a new stage and a new partnership…as long as it wasn’t something unspellable or unpronounceable.
Most women who keep their birth name, whether it was their father’s or mother’s, view it as their name.
In my case, we were divorced after 16 years of marriage, with two children. I was mildly interested in returning to my adopted name, but also wanted to talk with my children about it since they were old enough to have opinions.
I never even asked my younger son because when I asked my older one, he told me he would feel abandoned if I changed my name. Hey, it was just a name, I wasn’t even born with it and it was not a big deal to me.
I did change my name when I remarried almost five years ago. But honestly last names just don’t have much meaning for me. My step dad adopted me when I was sixteen so when I got married the first time, I was going on my third last name.
Now I feel VERY strongly about my first name! 
It’s not about confusing the kids, it’s about confusing the school administrators. And “how stupid are these school administrators?” is a question you don’t want to dwell on for too long, because it will depress the fuck out of you.
My ex kept my last name, mostly so she wouldn’t have to be troubled by changing things to her name; she still has the same bank account and phone numbers. She was also able to get a few credit cards in my name. That caused me a lot of hassle, even though the issuing companies had nothing to prove that I had requested the cards. Now that you’ve made me remember her, I won’t be able to sleep for the next few days.
It still is the law in Pennsylvania. Even if a paternity test indicates he isn’t the father, if a child is born to a couple while they’re still married, the husband is presumed to be the father and obligated to pay child support if they divorce.
On a happier note, I recently changed my name to my husband’s name. It’s a hassle. It takes a while for the paperwork to catch up and there are a surprising number of places it has to be changed. There’s also the matter of explaining why the name on one document may not match the name on another document. Telling people it’s different because you just got married leads to congratulations and, as far as I’ve seen, makes people happy for you. I suspect telling them you changed it because you got divorced wouldn’t be as pleasant.
Think about the number of things you have with your last name on them. This isn’t just your drivers license and social security card; there are also credit cards, frequent shopper cards, library cards, magazine subscriptions, etc. I would think divorce itself could be enough of an emotional strain without adding that trouble to it.
Not divorce, but I remember Mom fuming, a few months after Dad died, “now I know why your grandma was listed in the phone book as ‘XYZ, Widow Of’!”
Many people and institutions are so used to using the “married name” that it takes a while to let them know of the change. So, using your married name for a while after a divorce is similar to that post-it in my rented flat’s corkboard, letting me know where to forward mail for the owners… it’s a way to make sure that anybody who hasn’t received the news about the change can reach the right person.
As for using it forever, it can be anything from “I am so used to it that it feels weird to change back” to “makes things easier with the kid’s schools” to “I know it pisses my ex off.”
Sing it!
If you’ve never gone through it you probably have no idea how many places your name is recorded.
My first husband and I divorced quickly enough that there were still some places I hadn’t gotten caught up to my married name. I didn’t change back to my maiden name until it was time to renew my driver’s license anyway.
When my second husband and I married I already owned a business with my last name as part of the business name, and his surname is challenging to spell and pronounce so I haven’t changed it. His relatives send us mail to Mr & Mrs Hisname, and I would never dream of correcting them or getting bent out of shape over it.
That didn’t really answer the OP did it?
Two reasons I’m aware of for keeping it:
My mother kept her married name after her divorce so it would be the same as her children’s.
I’ve known women who had professional accomplishments and were more recognized by their married names and so did not change them.
My brother’s ex keeps it out of pure spite. She whored around a bunch, even arranging it so that he’d walk in on her, on the couch with a dude with whom she doesn’t even speak a common language, so I’m not sure why she would feel the need to hang on to his surname otherwise. She clearly doesn’t care about him or any notions of “family”. It’s an extremely uncommon surname, I think seven of us in the US, so maybe she just likes the exclusivity? I don’t know. I detest her, and I detest that she shares my name, but what are you gonna do?
I kept my first husband’s name until I married my second husband. It was a cool name, and I had fond memories of the ex. I’ve told the current Purgatory Man that if he dumps me I’m reverting to my first husband’s name.
That’s no shit. My mom divorced and remarried when my sister and I were quite young and took the new husband’s name. God help us if we missed a day of schoool because our mother would have to send a note to excuse the absence. She would sign it, reasonably enough, with her name. We were questioned each time, “Who is “Mrs. Different Name” who wrote this note?” Even at 7 years old I remember thinking, “Well, geez, who do you think? The maid?”.
On one such occasion the school went so far as to call my mother to verify that she was indeed my parent or guardian. Then the nosy follow-up, “Why is your last name different?”.
Those kind of things have a bigger effect on a child than an adult may imagine. That was an influence on my decision to keep the ex’s name when I was divorced.
Other influences were: the hassle with bureaucracy, my lack of fondness for my birth father, making as few unnecessary changes in my children’s lives as possible and the nearly 20 years, or 52%, of my life that I had used the name.
My ex kept my last name because hers was unpronouncable in english (well, pretty close - it took everyone about 10 or 12 attempts.)
I have been married twice. No kids from the first 3 year marriage but two from the subsequent 23 year marriage. Both ex-wives kept my surname, but both disliked their birth surnames.
I never married my son’s father. My son is a hyphen of both our names.
My son’s father’s sister divorced.
I married her ex.
She kept my husband’s name.
I didn’t take his name when we married.
Kind of interesting when we all go places together.
I would like to keep my ex’s last name once we are finally divorced, mostly because it would make things easier for the Princess (for school, medical stuff, etc.) and for me as well, because I had enough of a hard time changing it to his in the first place. Plus I like his folks. However, we still haven’t discussed whether he wants me to keep it. I’ll change it if he has a problem with it, but I’d rather keep it until/unless I remarry. Of course, my dad would be thrilled if I take my maiden name back, but I’m not asking him. 
Lucky, how does your daughter feel?
I was really surprised by my son’s opinion and once he expressed his desire that I keep that last name, I didn’t care what my ex thought. My child’s opinion came first in that particular matter.
Me keeping his last name did bother his second wife but she never really said much about it. I finally brought it up and once she realized I’d kept it because of my son, she was cool with it.
That’s just it: after decades of dealing with divorces, women keeping their maiden names, adoptions, foster parents, etc… there isn’t any confusion.
When you register the kids at school you’ve got to use their full name and your full name, right? So it’s all written down in black and white. And so it goes through life.
My wife and I have different names. Our daughter has my wife’s last name (and my surname as a middle name, poor kid 
) and I’ve never had anyone raise any questions.