Hmm. Maybe my problem is I’m too truthful with women…
I recommend renting the movie “The Tau of Steve.” Tongue in cheek, but surprisingly insightful.
Wait - men want to SLEEP with women?!?!?
Da HELL!! You big pigs!!!
It’s way worse than you think . . . they also want to have sex with women, too!
Oh my god!
I’ve got the vapours here…
I appreciate that you guys are talking about big issues and so forth, but just remember: if even one woman figures out that we actually DO want to have sex with them, the jig is up!
Even as a somewhat misogynistic* guys guy, I get sick of listening to guys who yell shit like “check her out!” every time some hot piece of ass walks by. I get it :rolleyes:, you’re a heterosexual. Stop trying so hard to prove it to me or I might think you’re overcompensating.
Guys who are true “players” have the ability to pick up the women who are just out for a good time. Or they just date a lot without settling down. True douchebags lie about their income or their job or their intentions (ie saying their truly interested in someone when they aren’t). And it’s the truly pathetic losers who make disparaging comments and act like assholes to women who won’t put out as if they are entitled.
Living in Manhattan I meet a lot of these jerkoffs. Mailroom guys pretending to be investment bankers (like girls can’t tell your full of shit by the $5000 Tag watch you AREN’T wearing!). Arrogant douchebag 1st year analysts/attorneys who think they are the shit because they split a 2BR three ways and spend last months rent on a $200 striped shirt. B&T losers pissed off at women because their lame NJ Guido game doesn’t work on Manhattan girls. Fat middle-aged drunken morons who hassle any waitress with enough restraint to not tell them to F off. Self absorbed guys who get pissed off if the night ends without “digits”. The list goes on.
What all these guys have in common is a lack of self confidence and a resentment towards women. They don’t LIKE women. They covet them like property.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a perfect gentlemen either. I pretty much want to bang every girl I see. I just don’t get angry when I can’t and I don’t expect it like it was owed to me.
Interestingly, jake1964’s link was the first one that appeared when I Yahoo!'d “misogynistic” to get the spelling right.
So women are obligated to have sex with you? No wonder you aren’t getting lucky.
My husband is pretty average looking. I have sex with him. In fact, one of my friends once said “you are a really good looking women, how come none of your boyfriends were ever good looking guys.”
Short answer - most of the really good looking guys weren’t interested in ME, they were interested in having sex with me. I can get myself off, and don’t have to worry about pregnancy or genital warts.
In my entire life I’ve seen maybe half a dozen guys who pushed the lust button just by looking at them. I can’t speak for all women, but the ones I’ve talked to really don’t have a “yum, I think I’ll do that” reaction to guys. Sex is more cerebral for women. Even casual sex seems more cerebral. And most women aren’t wired for casual sex the way men are.
I see no reason to buy into this particular misandristic crap. I mean, you’re free to think your entire sex is made up of losers if you really want to, but I’m not going to believe you and it’s not going to make you attractive.
And by the way hon, where I come from, calling someone’s partner a liar is fighting words.
This is really facinating.
I’ve been happily married and monogomous for a decade.
I have several male friends who spend time with me. Maybe they are hoping they outlive my husband? Seems like a long term committment for the chance I’ll cheat on my husband or get divorced or end up widowed.
I have one male friend who is straight and back when I was single and horny - TURNED ME DOWN! Thought it might “ruin the friendship” and I “wasn’t his type.”
Well said . . . in the end, all humans, men and women alike, act in their own self-interest. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s simply the reality of humanity. It’s the rule, and there are exceptions, but women also have their own objectives in dating men that extend beyond simply wanting a relationship. Women joke about wanting to date rich men, and many don’t but some certainly do. It’s not comparable in terms of the overall universal application to the gender as my statement about men and sex, but generally women are seeking a sense of security in their relationships. I guess it all boils down to gender roles adopted as the species evolved, and continues to evolve. And as our gender roles continie to evolve, women will gradually become more like men in terms of society accepting that women can be more open regarding their sexuality. Women are in more of a postion to provide for themselves than ever in the history of our species. Women are gradually becoming more empowered to be more sexually open and assertive . . . like men, over time.
Although the process continues, we still continue to pretend.
Kind of went off on a tangent there, but what the hell. It’s Friday night, and I’m having a good time. 
Just out of curiosity . . . are you from Texas?
Why is it that you see no reason to buy into this particualar misandristic crap? If you’d like to refute my claim, by all means, please share with us why you take that position. I don’t expect you to agree with me, but I’d like to hear (read) why you think otherwise.
Totally true. Me wanting to do you isn’t much of a compliment, not because I’m not special but because me wanting to do you doesn’t set you apart from very many other women.
Not so true. Exceptions beside the point, and also alloting a generous allowance for the extent that sexual tensions and sexualized bullshit get in the way of it, I’d still by and large rather have women’s company for conversations. Half of men scarcely possess a language, half of the remainder have no interest in communicating with guys (which I understand, just from all of the above), and at least a quarter of the remainder are so tainted with homophobia that you can’t be friends with them until you’ve reassured them that you don’t harbor lust for their boyparts. Add in the fun of comparing notes across the sex-fence with some woman and there’s just no comparison.
Oh… meanwhile, since I tend to like women, the fact that I like any particular woman doesn’t set her off greatly from other women, and that I lust for her even less so. So none of them is “worth it” if “it” means “I’m supposed to do something to make it happen”.
We both know I’d like to do you. Your serve.
Wanna be companionable friends (only / for now / whatever) instead? I’m amenable. Still your serve, you escalate.
We both know what most males are like. If you don’t recognize me as special and different (or you don’t like special and different), umm, there’s no shortage of the other guys, you know?
I sincerely enjoy the company of women, and I suppose many of them I wouldn’t mind having sex with, but I’ve never really had the skilz as a great seducer and so for nearly all of them I never will. That bugged me somewhat when I was much younger, but I don’t have a problem with it now.
I would never pretend to think I understand everything (or even much of anything) about women and sex, but the dynamic mentioned by the OP is fairly interesting to me. I’m particularly curious about the repeated mentions by some of the women posting to this thread that masturbation is preferable to sex with a man who doesn’t appear to care about the woman he’s with. Near as I can tell, deep down it’s possible men really feel the same way about women, but you’d never know it from their behavior. I’d have to say myself that whatever pleasure may be derived from the best wank pales alongside even an indifferent shag.
Just talking off the top of my head, really, but when one thinks about it things pretty much have to be the way they are. If both sexes had the mating drive of the male, we’d never get anything done at all, I’ll wager. As it is, I have to say the old joke about men never going more than 2.5 seconds without thinking about sex has a grain of truth to it. Not saying that’s a particularly desirable trait, but there it is.
I lost interest in “romance” for life at 18, as an exchange student in Mexico. Oh, those boys there were so romantic! They said the sweeeetest things! But what they really wanted was to get inside my pants, so they could get the sexual experience they were expected to have, but couldn’t get with their girlfriends (who were expected to stay virgin until marriage - after graduating from university, at least 5 years away).
It really, really sucks to be manipulated. To be emotionally manipulated, just so somebody else can use your body.
I finally got to the point (later in life) to want sex to be asked for in so many words, because I had become defensive and wary of every kiss and touch, thinking it was nothing more than a step toward trying to get me in bed. But you know, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, or a touch is just a touch, and I had become defensive against them all. If asked directly, I can say yes or no, and if yes, involve myself willingly from the start.
It really smushes attempts to be romantic, but I really, really don’t like veiled or disguised motives.
Because about 90% of the evidence for it is people whining on message boards about how they can’t get laid, and most of the rest is summer romance movies?
Seriously. Lack of evidence. Invisible pink unicorns are vastly more plausible and rational than the notion that all heterosexual men are both functionally controlled by their penises and sufficiently good actors and liars to not make this obvious.
I have known men who didn’t bother to consider whether or not someone was sexually attractive to them before that person brought the question up, because they were enjoying that person’s company too much. I have known men who continued with relationships in which sex was not an option for medical reasons because they actually loved their wives, not just their wives’ genitalia. I have known men whose capacity for attraction was limited to one satisfying relationship, who simply did not register other people as attractive when partnered. I have known men who turned women down who approached them, even though both were available, and still somehow managed to maintain friendships with those selfsame women. I have known stable mixed-sex groups of people that somehow manage not to degenerate into raving sexual tension. I have known men who looked at open relationships and said, “You know, that’s just too much effort.” I have an ex whose given reason for breaking up with me was that I was too interested in sex and not enough interested in things that fed his sense of relationship; I have another ex whose sex drive was much lower than mine; I have another ex who ended the relationship when he realised that he was treating me as a sex object because he thought that that was a disgustingly neanderthal attitude to take. I know men who complain about the social presumption that they’re primarily interested in sex or ruled by their libidos because they find it as derogatory and disgustingly sexist as I do. I know a man who was never taken seriously when he was raped by a woman because people just figured, hey, men are happy to get laid, why’s he so upset about that silly ‘consent’ thing?
Your argument in response to this appears to boil down to: they’re all liars and deceivers, none of them can be trusted to report the truth anyway, and they’re all sufficiently brilliant at this that nobody catches on. (Or, for a different bit of sexist drivel, women are too stupid to figure it out.) That there is no way to have a relationship with someone who is not a scumbag unless it’s with one of these fine honest upstanding fellows who claims that from a male perspective, men are beasts and women are meat. You want me to believe it’s just honesty, just how men are, even though it requires a suspension of disbelief so complete that it demands antigrav sleds and pixie dust.
Yup…they’re not pretending they don’t want sex, they’re pretending that isn’t ALL they want before they leave skidmarks and tear on out of your life after they get what they want.
This is why I stopped dating. I LOVE sex, but not the stupid “wanna put a notch on my bedpost” games that men play. I know it’s silly to wish that they would just be honest as the OP states and say “I’d like to have sex”.
Most men aren’t going to do that, because they know most of us will say “Uh Nope, sorry, I’m not looking for a one night stand”.
But, there’s the whole issue, see? If we women were honest about that, then the men would say “oh HELL no, I’m just looking to get laid, now that I know she’s looking for something serious, I’m not wasting any time on her, I’ll move on to the next one, maybe I can snow someone else more easily”.
Idiotic game. Sim City or King’s Quest are way more fun and you can shut them down when you’re tired of playing! 
Wow.
Lilairen’s experience is a match to mine. Most of the rest of this thread sounds like it’s lifted from the Tom Leykis show.
Actually Tom Leykis is brilliant. The very last thing he says in his introduction is “…and most importantly we teach women how men think” (paraphrased).
I am sorry it’s no longer available in my area. It is a wealth of information on how to spot the scummy little tricks and lies that men (the ones who are just out to get laid) use.
I loved his Leykis 101. I know what to be on the lookout for regarding players now, should I decide to re-enter the scary arena of dating again.