If you mean being hit on then I’d say it’s my ‘fuck off’ vibe. I’ve been told by several friends that my default expression looks angry and unapproachable.
Actual dating I’ve managing to bugger up a couple of relationships by saying exactly what I was feeling. I’ve realised now that you have to play the game and keep your cards close to your chest in the first couple of months. Being super awesome girlfriend who does random romantic things just because is not nearly as popular as you would think.
I am short, kinda overweight, live in a cabin with wood fire the only sourse of heat, have makeshift running water, no plumbing, outhouse, old beat up tuck, two kids with me part time, almost 40, divorced, balding, red hair, bearde, I dont bathe all that frequently and I live in Alaska a place over populated with men.
I get dates all the time. Fully booked and hang with women constantly. I dont even have any Guy friend I hang out with.
My best friend I hang out with a ridioulus amount of time with is 26. She sleapsover we flirt and are slightly sexual. All my dates and sexual and friend relationships are with young women under 30 and often lesbian. All my friends i flirt with highly. They like it.
If I can get young cool strong healthy Alaskan women to my cabin with frequency in the winter most of you should be able to date if you wanted.
Attitude I think is the only answer for not getting dates.
Well, I’m married and hugely pregnant now, so no… nobody’s hitting on me.
When I was single and dating, I think there were three things. First is that I was somewhat overweight, which knocked a lot of guys out at first sight. Second is that, though I’m not an extrovert, I’m the kind of introvert who doesn’t mind being chatty and outrageous with people I don’t know and won’t ever see again… so first dates with me (in online dating service situations) could be quite a ride (“what’s your favorite word? my favorite word is f&$#. it’s a noun, it’s a verb, it’s an adjective, it’s even an infix… brilliant!”). Third is that I was foolish enough to admit that I wanted kids.
The number of men who were around me on a regular basis and wanted to date me was pretty high, though. First impressions were my only problem.
For me it’s been the opposite: not wanting kids of my own takes me off a lot of lists. I turn 40 this year, though, and am hoping that with this decade will come more single, straight men my age who either (a) also don’t want kids, or (b) already have 'em and don’t want more.
Yeah… there’s some kind of delicate, unspoken dance you’re supposed to do if you want kids, and it doesn’t involve checking the “I definitely want kids” box at eHarmony. Maybe you’re supposed to say “maybe someday…” or “if I met the right person” or something. Whatever, I don’t get it.
My husband grilled me on my opinions about kids, finances, division of housework, and breakfast cereal ownership on our first date. That’s one of the reasons we get along so well
If ever there was a thread that would get lots of responses…
In my case, it’s the familiar low confidence / self-esteem.
I’ve had few dating experiences, and they’ve all been negative. It’s hard to act confident with this background (in fact, I’d say trying to act confident can be even worse than just appearing anxious).
Right now, I’m a clinically depressed, introverted, lethargic, alcoholic, but luckily I’m married. When I was young and dating I did alright with the bookish set.
Well, back when I lived at home with my parents and had no job, that combined with having very little confidence as a result of said living situation, I found myself pretty undate-able. Even then I did have some success though.
Now that I have a job and my own place, I don’t really have any complaints. I’m a bit out-of-shape, my place is not pristine, and I could really stand to benefit by learning some basic cooking skills, but my GF is happy and so am I.
As a single mom, and one that loves hanging out with her kid, I am almost always with her. It is rare to have time on the town alone. I would say that this is the reason I am unapproachable but I was told that well before she was born, too.
I think the cause of this is twofold:
I grew up thinking I was really hideous (thanks, brother!) and as my self defense, I retreated to my own world.
I don’t know why, what my “issue” is, but I very rarely am physically attracted to guys. If a guy I am not attracted to starts to hit on me, the walls come up. I know there is more to a relationship than looks, but you have to even be somewhat attracted, don’t you?
I’d say I’m doomed to be alone for ever, but I have accepted it and don’t consider it being doomed any more.
I knew a woman years ago who looooooved bald guys. To the point of behaving a slightly inappropriately with somebody else’s bald boyfriend at a party. She married a guy with alopecia.
I just don’t look tidy. No matter how I try to dress up, I end up look sloppy.
I am somewhat nerdishly, lack social graces and conversation skill. I also get tensed and “hey you look stressed!” looks.
I am also very quiet with strangers, and stammer while talking, on top of not being able to articulate well. Perhaps I’m shy.
I also don’t have the moolah for the dating game. I eat conservatively, don’t hang out at the usual nightspots, heavily in debt due to school loans, does not drive and etc.
Au contraire mon ami. Short bald geeky spectacle-wearing engineer types nearly always have money. And while few will openly admit it, money is still the driving force behind many, many women’s dating decisions.
SeldomSeen, OTOH is tall, hairy, non-geeky with 20/20 vision…and congenitally poor. And attracts an astonishingly vast dearth of second (or even first) looks from the fairer sex.
