This is making me homesick for my father and his famous line, “Pull my finger!”
I was a glutton for punishment, I’d pull it every time and laugh like a loon.
You know, I’ve been following this thread and laughing my ass off, never dreaming I’d ever have anything to contribute to it.
Until I threw my back out at Wal-Mart yesterday morning trying to hold in a fart.
My husband was very sympathetic, once he stopped giggling.
And just in case you didn’t have enough information yet:
Visit http://bored.com and scroll down to Facts on Farts.
This thread is bloody hilarious!
My contribution: When my brother-in-law farts he’ll say “Did you hear what that a**hole behind me just said?”
Cracks me up.
When the Hawklette was about three years old, I did some motherly thing that did not meet her approval. She shunned me in an obvious huff for some time. A little later, she ran back over to where I was sitting, and climbed up in my lap.
“Awwww,” I thought. “She’s forgiven me, the little sweetheart.”
Next thing I know, she has let one rip right into my lap and hopped down, saucily shooting the coup de grace over her shoulder.
“They never come off, y’know.”
So apparently, I have still got this thirteen year old fart in my lap. Eww.
Spoken like someone who did NOT share a hotel room and BED with this woman in Las Vegas.
:eek:
Well, I didn’t say she smelled nice…
Did she pull the tent trick on you? 
Weird. Just the other day a friend of mine was telling us how she always gets the urge to poop when she enters a bookstore. She insists that it’s something to do with the smell of the ink.
Comes from all that reading whilst on the hopper, that does.
[sub]Sez the guy who mostly slept through two semsters of psychology classes.[/sub]
That’s what I said! That it’s some kind of reverse response. One associates reading with pooping, because they always read while they poop.
poop. poop. Sorry, I just wanted to say that another couple times.
poop.
WAIT! Don’t give up on this thread yet. I found out something interesting.
I was discussing the urge to poop in bookstores with a friend, and he said that he’d read somewhere that humans, like dogs, have an instinct to defecate in corners, on the side of the road, basically anywhere there is “geometric organization.” So according to him, it is the shape and arrangement of all those bookcases that makes you want to drop a load.
What do you think?
Hmmm…I dunno. I always thought it was the smell of the books that got one’s gastric juices flowing.
Nope.That corner thing doesn’t sound right.While driving my seat is at a right angle with the door-no urge,either moving or sitting.
Tho I sometimes have to suppress a quacker in the middle of a crowded elevator.Doesn’t happen in the corners all the time.I must confess,I’ve been known to drop a ripper on’em at times from the corner, looking for the crowd reaction to the inevitable-Who farted?Usually displayed in various facial expressions from the stifled giggle to genuinely annoyed.
I have on occasion ,heard scattered applause,or right on bruthas.Have also seen other occupants in varying stages of consciousness from the effects of the vapor trail.
Remind me not to invite your friend into my house, Kyomara. My God! all of my rooms have corners!
::Rolls up newspaper::
Bad Kyomara’s Friend, Bad!
A few thousand Dopers are off having Christmas dinner now.
I wonder where that will lead this thread.
** Muffin **
Member
Registered: Nov 2000
Location: ** Thunder Bay,** Ontario, Can
How * apropo *
I guess that does explain why it is not a white Christmas here.
BAHAHAHAHA! I love that story.
What took you so long?